Nine Guys Short

We've Moved

2008-12-06T18:44:00.000-06:00

Got tired of this blog so we're moving on... if there's anyone who had stopped here and wants to continue reading head over to: http://snortingtheendline.blogspot.com.

Finally Back in the Saddle

2008-11-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

So it's been a month or 5 since I last posted, my apologies to the few who still check this space for opinions and comments. It's been busy to say the least, 3 weddings, 1 honeymoon, and some crazy work projects have made it hard to do anything when I am at home, let alone commenting on any and all soccer news in the world. Alas, something has come along that has finally gotten the creative (or snide asshole) juices flowing.

Beckham is going to the San Siro, I know this is nothing new. There have been others out there who have opined as to whether this will be good or bad for MLS. My opinion, if Beckham plays well and continues to hang onto that spot on Fabio Capello's bench, this will be a fantastic move for MLS. Think about the cast of players he'll get to discuss the merits of MLS with, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Sheva, Pato, etc. Also, performing well on this stage will lend some credibility to the rumors that MLS isn't quite as lowly as originally perceived. All of this while receiving some form of compensation (I hope) from the Milan club for Beckham's services. However, this move is absolutely horrible from the Galaxy's perspective. The captain of the club going AWOL during the pre-season when his club is likely to be shaken up quite a bit, does not bode well for all of the new talent coming in. In fact the new coach would be wise to select a new captain for the club.

Speaking of the Galaxy's new coach....Bruce Arena apparently did not learn a damn thing from coaching the US National team. I was at the Galaxy-Fire game a couple of weeks ago and Arena started Donovan as the offensive center midfielder in a 4-4-2 formation, a position which saw Landon become a ghost during games with the National team. After the Gals were down by two, with 15 minutes to go, Arena made a switch and moved Lanny up front as a second striker. Guess what happened: the Galaxy, and Donovan in particular, started causing havoc for the Fire D, and looked like they might get one or both of those goals back. Not knowing Bruce's true intentions (maybe he's been trying to help Donovan learn the position thus increasing his value in the transfer market) it's hard to judge him and his decisions, but I think most would agree that Donovan's best position is the tucked-in striker making runs off of a target forward, or as the central attacking midfielder in a 4-2-3-1 formation, though that's only be proven against weak CONCACAF opposition.

On to LannyCakes. Apparently Jurgen Klinsman's man-crush on the Galaxy player has lead to rumors that Donovan may once again test himself in Europe. While I applaud Donovan finally getting around to testing himself in the tougher environments across the pond, I sincerely hope he is not considering moving to the gigantic Bavarian club. Not only has he been uncomfortable and misunderstood in the "Fatherland" not once, but twice, but Bayern Munich have one of the most offensively gifted squads, on paper, on the continent. So it would be extremely frustrating for a player who's used to 90 minutes every game to be coming on as a sub only if Klose, Ribery, Toni, or Podolski have an off day. Also, the German top-flight is known throughout the world as second only to the Serie A when it comes to being tactically oriented. Not that Lanny can't figure out the tactics, but he's at his best when simply pinning the ears back and playing a more free-flowing game. I hope, for Donovan's and the US National team's sake, that he is a success wherever he may end up, but I hope for his sake it's in a league where a player of his ilk can shine. Somewhere like Spain, Holland, or England.

Donovan's move brings to light another player who the US National team's success in the near future depends on; Clint Dempsey. Apparently his cameo appearance, in which he scored the face saving, game-tying goal against Pompey, was only enough to merit a spot on the bench the next game. While part of me was hoping he'd pull out the watch tapping celebration ala Clint Mathis, I'm glad he took the higher road and was respectful. A few reasons why it's time for Deuce to move on: 1) The man who brought him in is not there anymore, it's obvious that Roy Hodge couldn't give two shakes of stick about whether Dempsey sees the pitch ever again; 2) Roy Hodge's long ball first tactical approach doesn't leave much room for free flowing attacking players such as Dempsey, Bobby Zamora and Andy Johnson are better suited to this style of play; 3) Dempsey is apparently suffering from the dreaded Eddie Johnson disease, a nasty mix of complacency and lethargy. I know that the Deuce lovers out there, if they even read this blog, will be sharpening the knives and knocking down my door, but the guy has looked lazy in his recent appearances for the National team. Maybe he just plays at his own speed, but he looks as bored as a petulant preteen with ADHD. Sure he's still producing, somewhat, for the Nats, but it's against weaker opposition and I guarantee that no one outside of the CONCACAF region would be concerned about coming up against him in his current form. He needs to move to team where he can compete for a spot and be rewarded with more than just a spot on the bench, he needs to go to a team where he'll have a coach that believes in and supports him while challenging him to be at his best every single game.

If anyone is reading this, let me know your thoughts.

This About Sums It Up Nicely

2008-06-07T09:48:00.000-05:00

Here is an example of someone who receives paychecks for the way they write about soccer, in opposition to us who barely put two coherent sentences together. Jamie Trecker took the liberty of breaking down the last two US performances with a brutal, cutting honesty and clarity. Enjoy.

Fulham FC pays tribute to McBride

2008-05-31T16:42:00.001-05:00

Here's Fulham FC's video tribute to Brian McBride. It's a sad that McBride will no longer be playing in the Prem, but it'll be great for a younger generation of fans to get to see him in the MLS. I just wish he had stuck around the Cottage long enough for Eddie Johnson to learn a few things about putting the ball into the net.

We'll save the truly sappy sentiments for your actual retirement.

5 Things I learned watching USA England

2008-05-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

Actually the title should read 5 things I learned from the second half of USA England, because I'm and idiot and set up my vcr incorrectly. Anyways, onto the 5 things I learned about the USMNT from Wednesday's friendly:

1) Bob Bradley needs to make quicker substitutions
If the first half played out anything like the second half, Bradley should've been able to see that changes needed to be made at the half. If not to give us a better chance of getting the result then at least to get some other players a decent amount of minutes (see Nate Jaqua entering the game in the 90th minute, what effing good does that do anyone?). Throughout his tenure, at least the games I've watched, Bradley has been way to cautious and waited way to long to make substitutions. We, as Americans, come from Puritan blood however we've been conditioned throughout the years to be cavalier and daring. It's time we got the same out of a soccer coach, because right now daring decisions and tactics are the only thing that are going to get us anywhere in South Africa.

2) The central midfield pairing of Clark & Bradley, Bradley & Mastroeni, or Clark & Mastroeni is hereby banned from ever, ever, appearing for the 'Nats again.
For some reason the head coach of the USMNT continues to think that two holding/destroying midfielders is the best way to give our team a chance to win. I am here to tell you, as are all of the blogosphere and the English press, this will not ever, ever work against top class opposition. Why? Because none of our destroyers can maintain possession either through shielding and dribbling, or through intelligent distribution. Our best hope right now is Michael Bradley, who at the CONCACAF level shows flashes of possession. However, he needs to be paired with a more offensive minded midfielder, such as Maurice Edu (whom not known for his offensive prowess can at least distribute the ball decently), Benny Feilhaber (I think the kid, given playing time, can be a decent midfield general in the Claudio Reyna mold), or Freddy Adu (the kid is just yearning for a chance to play the number 10 role, why the hell not let him in some high caliber friendlies). The reason for this rant, our passing last night was atrocious, I think I witnessed a completion percentage of about 15% in the second half. We need someone who can at least bump that stat up a little and give others the confidence to make some passes.

3) We either need Knute Rockney giving pre-game talks or a captain that can inspire on the field
As most people who watched the game will tell you we lacked any heart, soul, pride, and passion. 'Los is a decent choice for a captain because he is reliable (most of the time) at the international level. However, there's no player in the talent pool that can rally the troops, inspire, and possibly will the team onto victory. Maybe next time we play England in the States we commandeer some of Steven Gerrard and John Terry's "little swimmers" and pair them up some of Mia Hamm's DNA, then we might be able to produce some soccer players who can lead a team and nation.

4) It's time to scrap everything we've ever known about the USMNT and just start from scratch with a young crop of players
Everything the USMNT has ever known about the sport of soccer needs to be thrown out the window. For a long time now pundits and punters alike have bemoaned the US's lack of a definitive style of play. It's time we shake some shit up and go with a new formation. I suggest a 3-5-2 this will accommodate all of our center backs and midfielders in our player pool. Granted, we still need a forward who can score. Playing this formation would allow us to utilize our speed on the flanks, and incorporate Deuce, Freddy, and LannyCakes in the same starting 11 playing close to their natural positions.

Also, it's time that we shed some dead weight. Eddie Lewis is a class act, Josh Wolff may have scored some important goals, Frankie Hejduk gives 1100% when on the field (I did mean to type eleven hundred, one hundred percent for every man on the field) and seems to live and die for our shirt, smae with Pablo Mastroeni. However much leadership these players provide, they're also remnants of the past and bring with them past baggage. I think we should just scrap anyone over the age of 28 (except goal-keepers) and just give the young'ns a baptism by fire. The kids in 1990 found a way to get into the World Cup and lay the foundation for where we are today. It's time for today's kids to lay a new foundation. We may not qualify at the top of our group, or at all, but I guarantee you that US Soccer would rise from whatever ashes there may be from this experiment and be better for it.

5) It pains me to say this but Landon Donovan was sorely missed yesterday
Without Landon Donovan on the pitch we don't stand a chance of being respected by any of the major soccer powers. I'm coming around to be tolerable of the LannyCakes fan club, and I'm realizing more and more how important he is to our team. Even with him on the pitch the Argentinas, Spains, Brazils, and Englands (etc.) of the world may not respect us, but at least we'd have proven speed and goal scoring abilities.

ESPN Drops the Ball, Again

2008-05-26T19:09:00.000-05:00

Bravo ESPN, we salute you for your dedication to covering the Euros on your family of networks and only sloughing the first days matches to ESPN Classic. For that you deserve some credit.

However, our own national team is playing it's three toughest opponents in a row, ever, and for the two "Sexier" matches, in terms of who neutrals (see: not psychotic about footie) would rather/should see, many Americans (or maybe it's just me and my shit cable package) will be forced to watch the game on tape delay, in Spanish. What is so important that the USMNT squaring off against England, in Wembley, gets the bump to ESPN Classic? The French Open - Early Round play is taking up space on ESPN 2. Fair enough that the French Open is kind of a big deal, at least it's not jump rope for heart competitions. However, that leaves the whole mother ship of ESPN wide open then, right? Wrong. All of the crappy progamming that clutters ESPN 2 during the day has gotten bumped to ESPN on Wednesday; this includes such wonderfully stimulating television as "The Best of Mike and Mike in the Morning" (a radio show that they tape so we get to see the two gentlemen sitting at radio mics pontificating about sport), 1st and 10 (I'm not sure what the hell this is about, and I've even suffered through it before), and Jim Rome is burning (someone whose show should've been cancelled long ago).

While I've gotten used to the Entire SPorts Network snubbing my sport before, forcing me to watch it in Spanish. This time they've gone too far. Here's a game that could actually put soccer on the map in this country, if the US gets a result in London you can queue the Boston Tea Party References on Sports Center that evening, and guarantee that more people will then tune into the MLS season to watch LannyCakes taunt Beckham during Galaxy games. As well as providing some fodder for discussion about whether the US can actually compete in South Africa 2010. If the US were playing a meaningless friendly against Columbia (which you televised) or China (another that you televised) I could understand the snub, but this game is higher profile than the qualifier against Barbados. {Though, failure to get a result against the tiny island nation will undo any good the comes of the three friendlies; we're talking nuclear winter type setback.}

It was about time the USSF grew a pair and started scheduling more respected friendlies, now it's time for the Sports Journalists in this country, especially ESPN, to give the USMNT and soccer some respect. I'm not talking about taking up two of the three networks type of respect, say on June 8th when ESPN 2 is busy televising the Euros and ABC is televising "To BE Determined" while US vs. Argentina gets bumped to ESPN Classic. I'm just talking about some baby steps. That's All.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

2008-05-16T20:06:00.000-05:00

It's that time again: time for me to tell our Yanks Abroad what they should do with their careers and their lives, because I am the smartest football pundit/punter on earth. Without further arrogance nor adieu:

Bobby Convey – Stay

You played maybe 15 total games in the Premiership, and even then you looked out of your league. Your performances in the Championship made you a fan favorite and gave you confidence, which in turn, got you onto the 2006 World Cup squad. We need that Bobby Convey to come back, but better. So reek havoc in the Championship or else you’ll slowly fade away into American soccer oblivion.

Marcus Hahneman – Stay

I’m not sure anyone in the Premiership is looking for a day-in day-out number 1, unless you count the three teams climbing up from the Colaship, but their defenses are probably worse than Reading’s was this past year.

Eddie Lewis – GO

You could probably hop onto one of the three promoted teams, but you’d be facing almost certain relegation. Fulham may be an option because they love their Americans there, however you’d still probably be facing a relegation battle. I hear San Jose has a team again and are looking for a new face for their franchise, plus you could show Claudio Reyna how to age gracefully in MLS.

Benny Feilhaber – Push

Since Derby went right back down, I think they were relegated by November of ’07, you may have shot a scoring some playing time, which you desperately need. Especially since some of Derby’s midfielder will not want to spend a season amongst the heathens below the Premiership, Robbie Savage I’m looking at you. Though you could probably get on with a relatively decent Intertoto cup side from Norway, Sweeden, Russia, etc. or even a lower table side in Germany, Holland, or Scotland.

Brian McBride – Stay

You along with Jimmy Bullard returned to the Cottage after injury and propelled Fulham to 17^th. As the captain I feel that you’re obligated to stay unless Sir Alex finally wakes up and realizes the issues ManU has because they lack a target forward, or Rafa starts looking for a Crouch replacement (though I don’t want to have to buy a Liverpool shirt, Adidas is churning out such shit these days).

Clint Dempsey – Stay

You just signed the new deal and magically Fulham stayed up, I think you’re their good luck charm. You still need to put together one full solid season, beginning to end, before the bigger clubs like Aston Villa, and Boro come wanting.

Eddie Johnson – Stay

Hopefully Fulham will crash the European party this season and the extra games will mean some PT, if not go out on loan, but stick with the Whites even if they go down next year. You could get a lot of experience and better yourself this way, then move on to hopefully bigger and better things. It wouldn’t hurt you to play well in the upcoming US friendlies and qualifiers either.

Kasey Keller – Stay

Through some act of god you managed to keep the number 1 shirt, even though you were a bit nervy. Frankly anything other coming back to the Seattle Sounders would almost certainly be a step down.

Carlos Bocanegra – GO

You’re not wanted, I’m not sure why because the oafs Fulham have back their now don’t really inspire confidence either. Play well this summer, then jump to newbie coming up from the Colaship, make your case then move to a mid table club a year later.

Tim Howard – Stay

Playing at Everton has solidified your status as the next great keeper from the states. It’s also propelled you to the number 1 status for you country, and given you the confidence to succeed there. Stay there until they force you out.

Brad Friedel – Stay

In Blackburn, you’re a god amongst men, stay until your AARP membership comes in the mail.

Michael Bradley – GO

Continue to play well this summer, and you’ll have to beat the mid table teams in England and Germany away with mortar rounds and Agent Orange. Tell your agent to pimp you as the “Poor Man’s Michael Carrick/Owen Hargreaves/Roy Keane (though without the nasty side).”

Oguchi Onyewu – Push

Playing back at Standard this season has made you more confident for the US, and you weren’t picking up bad habits from that clown Bramble. However, I think you may stagnate in Belgium, if the offer is right I say go wherever it is, except Intertoto Cup country or France.

DaMarcus Beasley – Push

On the one hand Rangers are a massive club as far as mid size European nations go, they’re always in the Champions League or UEFA Cup, but on the other they play anti-football (I read that they played a 6-3-1 in the UEFA Cup final, boo hiss). If someone with more attacking verve comes in for you, go. But, you might have to wait until January after proving your knee is healed

Freddy Adu – No Clue

Benfica is a larger club, they’re constantly in Europe, but I can’t read their website so I really don’t know if they’re slandering your over-hyped name or not. If you think you may have a shot at some PT then stay, if not go on loan to some Dutch team, where at least you’ll get to have a little fun in the red-light district every now and again, and on the field too.

Jozy Altidore – Stay

Just until January. Continue learning from Juan “I used to wear an Alice Band” Pablo Angel, it can only make you better. Plus you can more than likely haul in 15 goals this season while making a name for yourself with the ‘Nats. All pluses when it comes to enticing Europe’s fine suitors. One tale of caution, pick the club that is right for you. You don’t want to end up like Shaun Wright-Phillips now do you?

Landon Donovan – HAHAHAHAHAHA GO

I hear the New Kids on the Block are getting back together. Go my little Lanny, go, go, go!!! Thanks Pies, this made me laugh out loud.

Fulham FC possibly in Europe, WTF?!?

2008-05-16T19:24:00.000-05:00

As most of you informed readers know by now (we’re never the first to break news here at SGS) Fulham FC has an outside shot at playing some continental footie next season. While this is certainly a newsworthy story, what makes it worthy of our brand of wit and sarcasm? First off, the five yanks who make West London and Craven Cottage their home.

And, secondly the fact the Fulham only escaped the drop into the Colaship by four goals and would be taking the most remote of back doors (located in the deepest, darkest, scariest alley littered with bums, trash, and tranny hookers that look like Ronaldinho) into European competition. That would be qualifying for the Intertoto Cup (this competition is considered a European competition like fried-chicken dipped in alfredo sauce is considered health food) via the FIFA Fair Play league, which could grant them entry into the qualifying rounds of the UEFA Cup. Since football is such a business anymore, no one would turn down the opportunity to play in Europe, get more revenue, and expand their brand to the darkest corners of Scandinavia and Eastern Europe; however, someone at Fulham should step up and give their place in the UEFA Cup via Intertoto Cup via the FIFA Fair Play League/rankings to someone more deserving, like say the Milwaukee Bavarians who, on a good day, could probably take all three points from the Cottage. Would the manliest of Prem managers, Roy Keane, allow his Sunderland team to qualify for Europe’s ugly step sister competition in such a way? I think not. One also has to wonder if the FIFA Fair Play League and Intertoto Cup were really created to give sub par Premiership, Serie A, Bundesliga, and Primera Liga sides a chance to get into Europe. Because, as we all know, shit clubs from Turkey, Greece, Russia, Norway, Iceland, Slovakia, et al. don’t even deserve the same chances that the shit teams in the Big 4 Leagues do.

Back to the first point I made about why this would even concern us here at Seven Guys Short; Kasey Keller, Eddie Johnson, Brian McBride, Clint Dempsey, and Carlos Bocanegra (if he stays). I as an American, and thus a Fulham fan, am happy that the Whites are possibly going to be playing on the continent in the fall. It isn’t often you see an American playing in Europe’s top club competitions, and to have the possibility of 5 yanks getting the opportunity to play in Europe, in the same season, in the same game is something that I didn’t think I’d see in my lifetime. It’ll be great experience for the players, as well as showing some people across the pond that some of us yanks are true players. Also, the increased number of games means that Roy Hodgson will need a big squad at his disposal; 1 + 2 = 3, 4² = 16, connecting the dots that means Eddie Johnson and ‘Los (who has recently fallen out of favor with Hodgie) might get to see the field in the Carling Cup, maybe even the FA Cup or Premiership.

Also, everyone knows that European paydays can change a club’s fortunes around, just ask Leeds United. Sorry, that was a low blow. IF Fulham’s Odyssey takes them to the UEFA Cup, I see one of two scenarios playing out (only two because we all know they won’t spend the money wisely):

Fulham take the money, lure a star player (did someone say that Deco was available on a Free Transfer) who makes the entire team better and brings better players to the club (the David Beckham effect), and continuously improve over the next five years. Cementing themselves at the foot of the big four ala Everton. Or…
Lure a big name player then crash and burn worse than my first sexual experience. Forcing them to sell everything, and cementing themselves mid-table of League 1 or 2, I can’t remember which is lower but that doesn’t really matter. You get the point.

Let me raise my pancake laden fork in a toast: “Good luck Fulham, please don’t screw this up like the recently finished Premiership season.”

Fulham continue their Great Escape Bid

2008-05-06T20:57:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately I have a bad case of writer's block. The urge to write hasn't gone away, it's just that every time I sit down the few words that do trickle out of my fingertips sound lame or don't go anywhere.

That being said, Fulham continue to get results, similar to last season when their survival was on the line; thus keeping up the hopes of countless Americans. Fair enough that Fulham aren't always pretty to watch, the ambition of the owner could be called into question; however as a supporter of US Soccer and its players (even begrudgingly LannyCakes) I root for the Whites. So come on McBride, Dempsey, and Keller, keep Fulham in the Prem so we can enjoy at least one more season of Americans in the top flight of English Football.

Damnit Fulham

2008-04-26T19:35:00.000-05:00

So.....Fulham live to fight another day. On the one hand I, as a fan of Club America, am happy because it means that 5 Yanks might still be in the Prem next season. However, I as a writer have been planning a piece about where the 5 as well as others should/could ply their trade next season after Fulham goes down. I did not want to write this piece before it was known whether Fulham would survive for two reasons a) I didn't want to look like a jackass if Fulham survived and b) I have a habit of worrying about my teams and then bad things happen.

So...Fulham live to fight another day. Keep up the good fight Cottagers, I can always write about this in June.

Blatantly Stolen Articles: Johnson's Game will sink or swim in the EPL

2008-03-09T14:54:00.002-05:00

LONDON -- These broad arguments over whether Americans should dump steady domestic gigs to feed their soccer wanderlust and chase lavish sums overseas really can be quite silly.

Each case is different, deserving of its own shading and measurement. What's good for Soccer Willie might be all wrong for Soccer Wonka.

Take the cases of America's two most promising strikers, Jozy Altidore and Eddie Johnson.

Altidore has flirted with the notion of relocating to England, a move certain to crash headfirst into the work permit wall, at least for now. England's grinder probably isn't the ideal environment just yet for young Altidore. He'll benefit from a season of tutelage under contemplative tactician Juan Carlos Osorio. Plus, a stateside address will facilitate participation on Bob Bradley's national team and Peter Nowak's Olympic squad, which could clear the deck for a European landing a year or so hence.

That's why vague talk of moving overseas never fills in all the blanks. The "when" and the "where" are critical; variables of playing time, team style, management and individual ability to culturally assimilate all must frame the debate.

Which brings us back to Johnson.

Two years ago, rumors careened through cyberspace that Johnson definitely was headed overseas. The deal was all but done, some pundits claimed, and conventional wisdom said Johnson's progress demanded overseas seasoning.

But he still had room to grow here, mostly in mental development. Plus, he liked being close to his new baby girl, and there were niggling injury issues. It all served to scuttle his form in MLS, and a big move for the less-than-fully focused Johnson could have quickly gone sideways.

A seriously hobbled 2006 campaign merged into a confidence-restoring 2007 one, and by the middle of last year, Porto and Derby County were showing him the money. When those deals failed to gain altitude, the path was clear for Fulham to chase yet another American, establishing Craven Cottage as home to more expeditionary Yanks than a Paris youth hostel in summertime.

Johnson's first runabout in West London came and went Feb. 23, rather uneventfully. He replaced fellow American Clint Dempsey in the 76th minute of Fulham's controversial 1-0 loss to West Ham.

Deployed uncomfortably on the right, Johnson tentatively swerved through about 19 minutes and might have done better on one volley from close range. He's no long-range option in midfield, but with Fulham's English Premier League (EPL) survival in the balance, manager Roy Hodgson clearly will consider any ol' offensive gambit. Johnson started at the same spot in last week's 3-0 shellacking against Man United.

Johnson's debut with the first team didn't answer many questions about the wisdom of this mercurial talent's $1.5 million move. More instructive was a full 90 minutes a week earlier against Chelsea's reserves on a bitterly cold night at Brentford's grounds in far West London, where the Blues stage reserve matches.

Against a good, young Chelsea side that included Ben Sahar, recent Chilean signing Franco Di Santo and relative old hand Jimmy Smith, Johnson was only occasionally dangerous. And this wasn't a case in which Fulham was outclassed, with forwards relegated to chasing scraps in absence of adequate service (the match ended in a 2-all draw).

A Fulham midfield that included former MLS standout Simon Elliott didn't exactly supply a smorgasbord of crosses and through balls but did provide its share. In fact, Fulham took a 2-0 lead as Blues owner Roman Abramovich and manager Avram Grant watched from the stands.

Johnson announced himself early, creating one Fulham chance with a clever flick just beyond the penalty area. He found a channel about 10 minutes later, charging behind Chelsea's back line before seeing his shot saved from a tough angle.

From there, Johnson's night was an unmemorable mishmash of some decent touches and some that simply weren't good enough. Before about 500 people at Brentford's tiny grounds, wasting possession with needless giveaways will be excused by Fulham management, who clearly want the young American to succeed. Managers and teammates shouted encouragement and instruction at Johnson all evening, obviously keen to evaluate and assist.

But if he squanders those same balls during the crushing weight of an EPL relegation battle, fans at Craven Cottage won't be so forgiving.

Johnson admitted after drawing with Chelsea's reserves that his fitness is suffering. He did not regularly train with a side in the two months before his late January arrival. He recognizes the need to be more assertive, to make more runs and to generally increase his effect on a match.

And that's just the point. That's why this move became essential for Johnson's development.

Johnson at three-quarter speed and nominal focus still could crack open MLS contests. When fully focused and motivated, he could dominate. He makes decent runs and generally finishes with authority. But those runs will require a greater sophistication and a superfueled urgency in England. His game needs more of an edge. He must embrace the EPL mentality that nothing else in life matters past those 90 minutes.

"It's been a little tough," he said, "running back and forth to the United States, getting my work permit settled and everything. But I'm getting settled now and getting my fitness."

MLS could no longer provide the demanding and problematic environment that would push Johnson beyond his comfort zone. In London, the bumps in his game will be exposed weekly until he plows them level. Primarily, that first touch as a target forward remains quite average in high-level matches. He'll sort it out and stretch himself -- or he'll be playing a lot more reserve games in the future.

Run down to Ladbrokes betting shop and book this: It wasn't the lure of reserve matches at quaint little Brentford that prompted Johnson's big move.

Johnson is a fellow who enjoys the trappings of stardom. He likes his bling and his haute clothing. He enjoys la dolce vita. Fair enough. But he also is shrewd enough to recognize the sweet life in London will require amplified effort. No longer will those quick bursts, the spoils of good genetics, be enough to create the requisite separation from defenders. Even the young reserves from England's top flight are good enough to deal with Johnson's speed. Strikers truly earn their goals in the EPL, and so too must Johnson.

It's Johnson's time. It's up to him to exploit this chance. -Steve Davis

NS - Isn't it amusing how switching Eddie Johnson's name with Landon Donovan's and Fulham with any other English team, or Spanish or Dutch, would read exactly the same, except we all know that LannyCakes isn't in Europe.

Why Am I Here?

2008-03-02T12:45:00.002-06:00

This moving post from Who Ate All the Cupcakes touched a nerve within me.

This…is why I’m here

Currently Soccer’s reputation stands as a game for fairies, a game that you only play when you’re young, a game for parents to get their ADHD kids to run around and expend some energy before coming back home and being a little more relaxed. Since the game’s rep isn’t that great in this country we end up with athletes who choose to play soccer, not true soccer players. True soccer players like the Cruyffs, the Peles, the Maradonas, the Valderamas, the Zidanes, and to a lesser extent the Bergkamps and Ronaldinhos of the world who can’t help but create magic on the pitch. We end up with the Landon Donovans, Claudio Reynas, John Harkeses, Pablo Mastroenis, and Ricardo Clarks; all are good players (good enough to play internationally) but they don’t pull off the jaw dropping moves, runs, passes, or goals.

I coach because I want this to change; I want the reputation of this wonderful game to change in this country; I want to be a part of that grass-roots movement that will eventually culminate in the US winning the world cup (through coaching kids to be better players and develop a passion for the game and coach the next generation of players to better than they were) sometime during my life. I sound like I’m Jerry Mc-effing-Guire and I’m going to save the world tomorrow with a mission statement, but I really believe that if there are enough coaches out there who want to develop true soccer players this country can begin to develop more and more top quality players. I coach soccer because my coaches taught me a lot but not enough to be a true soccer player. I coach because I want this younger generation of players to learn to be soccer players, not just athletes; I want them to learn at 15, 14, 12 even, the things that I learned at 20. I want them to be on the pitch and figure out 2 or 3 different options in every situation, instead of always doing the same tired and jaded thing in every situation. I coach to give players someone who won’t scream at them for trying something new and failing. I’ve heard stories of high school coaches in my area who demand that their players play the ball to this place every time they get it. These same coaches also scream at these players if they stray too far out of their defined position on the pitch, even if it’s to make a play.

I play soccer because fitness, athleticism, and skill reign supreme (even though I don’t have any of these) not pure size. I play soccer because it’s the most free-flowing thought provoking game out there, players have 90 minutes with only brief interventions from coaches to figure out how to make in-roads on the opposition and win the game. It’s like chess on grass. I remember the good plays I made, the goals I scored (there aren’t too many), I remember the great runs that I’ve made that resulted in something good as well as the great runs that resulted in nothing. I’m not and never have been a good player, but that’s the great thing about this game is that even someone like me can make a good, sometimes great, play, which only makes you want to come back and try to top the last one.

I follow soccer because it is the one game where grace combines with passion and aggression. Because it is the most interesting sport in terms of competitions/leagues; in the US if you have a shitty season you get a crack at the best collegiate players, in soccer (everywhere but the US) if you have a shitty season you go down a lower league more your speed. In the US if you win the championship you’re the world Champs, in soccer if you win the championship you’re the champ of that competition, be it cup or league. In the US if you’re the best in the league you come back and beat up on the same teams, year in and year out, in soccer if you’re the best in the league, you get the chance to play against the best teams from other leagues and countries. In the US sports fans are only loud if their team does something good or they feel aggrieved by the referee, in soccer (most of the time) the fans are loud throughout the entire game. I remember watching the special games and special goals; the ’98 World Cup final, the ’96 MLS Cup final, ’05 US Mexico World Cup qualifier in Columbus, the US’s entire run in the ’02 World Cup, McBride’s over the shoulder take down and half volley against West Ham in the FA Cup, Rooney’s volley against Newcastle, Roberto Carlos’s volley into the ground and then upper 90° against Marseille in the Champion’s League, Liverpool’s Champion’s League triumph against AC Milan, and it goes on and on and on. I remember the awe that these games and goals made me feel.

This is why I'm here.

A Valentine's Day Card for LannyPoo!

2008-02-14T18:25:00.004-06:00

Couldn't have said it better myself...

2008-02-12T23:03:00.000-06:00

Check out our favorite Liverpool fan's opinion of the new USMNT jersey. I for one totally agree with her, and the other three opinions that she's linked in her post, and could not have said it better myself.

Time to dream about pancakes.

American Soccer in 2007: A Review

2008-02-04T23:52:00.000-06:00

Americans abroad, or not

Eddie Johnson finally leaves MLS, for Fulham
o The Good – Fulham continues to give talented Americans a chance to compete with the best players in the world; they now have 5 current or former US Internationals. The Rumor Mill also has Bruce Arena and his ego crossing the pond to join Fulham, along with Emeril and Snuffalupagous. USMNT fans are hopeful that the environment in a non-MLS club, where positions are not guaranteed from one day to the next will light a fire under the GAM’s ass and he’ll actually begin to realize his potential.
o The Bad – Fulham are in the relegation dog-fight, again for what seems like the 10th year - running. On paper they should be amongst the mid-table clubs, but reality has hit them with injuries on top of the consistently inconsistent form. Johnson may have been better served signing with a Championship side who is making a run for the Premiership, though signing with Fulham kind of accomplishes that goal since they’ll probably be in the Championship next summer.
o The Ugly – Having not played a meaningful game at the top level since Germany ’06 against the Czech Republic, it is the understatement of the year to say that Eddie will need to regain match fitness. This means he’ll probably make all of 5 appearances the rest of the season. He can thank MLS’s refusal to adopt a European schedule for that one.

Fredy Adu finally leaves MLS, for Benfica
o The Good – Similar to EJ, Fredy could definitely benefit from the put-up or shut-up atmosphere of European top flight soccer. The Portuguese SuperLiga will be more nurturing of Adu in his creative midfield role, his self-proclaimed best position.
o The Bad – It’s hard to find Portuguese soccer on TV so that we may watch our little savior grow. MLS loses its most marketable smile.
o The Ugly – Benfica made a coaching change 3 hours into Adu’s career and now he rarely even sees the subs bench. I hope that Fredy pulls a Clint Mathis and taps the wristwatch next time he scores as a super sub. Note: he does have 2 or 3 goals in only 100 minutes of playing time so far.

Taylor Twellman to Preston North End is rebuffed by MLS
o The Good – MLS gets to keep its leading scorer for at least another season before he pulls a Deuce and pouts his way to Europe, though by that time he may be too old.
o The Bad – Twellman could’ve probably benefitted, like Fredy and Eddie, from not having guaranteed playing time week-in and week-out.
o The Ugly – The USMNY will continue to suffer without anyone taking the step up to replace Brian McBride, especially since Bob Bradley seems hell-bent on giving TT more than enough chances to show some glimmer of hope for our striking future.

Oguchi Onyewu is still at that one club in Belgium
o The Good – He’s still getting loads of minutes at a level higher than MLS.
o The Bad – His dip in form, initiated by his loan move to Newcastle where defending next to Titus Bramble meant that there were always going to be two oversized mistake susceptible center backs on the pitch, has meant his continued exile in Belgium where he continues the status quo.
o The Ugly – He’ll still be hanging around the National Team picture but never really become the monster back we need him to be, which means others may not get their due shots.

Landon Donovan still wants to play in MLS
o The Good – MLS keeps its poster boy, and Lanny haters will continue to have something to dispise him for.
o The Bad – LannyCakes will continue with the status quo, which has seen him top the USMNT all time goal scoring charts, but others are catching up quickly in skill and panache, meaning that his role could soon be that of a Super Sub. Not a good thing for the poster boy of American soccer.
o The Ugly – There’s not much of an ugly side to this, disappointing would be more appropriate.

David Beckham comes to the US
o The Good – The profile of MLS is up, attendance at DB games is up, and other foreign stars are contemplating semi-retirement in the MLS
o The Bad – David Beckham is even more over hyped of a player than LannyCakes
o The Ugly – The circus that follows this guy around is ridiculous and a general pain in the ass for the league, though it helps sell shirts.

The US Men’s National Team

Gold Cup
o The Good – The USMNT won this past summer’s Gold Cup, edging out arch rivals Mexico 2-1. This gives the US the opportunity to compete in the 2009 mini World Cup in South Africa.
o The Bad – The USMNT won this past summer’s Gold Cup. Winning covers up a lot of flaws.
o The Ugly – The linesman’s call that negated Canada’s game tying goal in stoppage time. After Little Bradley had been sent off this would’ve almost guaranteed that Canada progressed to face Mexico in the final.

Copa America
o The Good – The USMNT participated in this past summer’s Copa America, and gained valuable experience in a hostile environment
o The Bad – The USMNT lost all three games, scoring only once (I believe)
o The Ugly – The USMNT lost all three games with their B- squad, a noble effort by those lads to be sure. However, the veterans that we really need to get experience against top-drawer teams in hostile environments skipped out on the tournament; some because their clubs wanted them back, some for other reasons. Regardless of the reason, we really needed the exact same squad that participated in the Gold Cup to play in the Copa, that group of guys is supposed to be the future of US Soccer, and they missed the biggest opportunity of 2007/2008 to grow as players.

Friendlies
o The Good – The US won FIFA recognized international friendlies against South Africa (in South Africa), Switzerland (in Switzerland), Mexico (in Phoenix, which might as well be Mexico). The US also took on mighty Brazil, and even played well enough to deserve a point from the match, maybe more. There were multiple questionable calls from the Ref, always in Brazil’s favor, but the US still managed to hang in there against the 5 times World Champions. So far in 2008 the US is scheduled to play Mexico (in Houston, which might as well be Mexico) and Spain (in Spain). While the US didn’t deserve to win any of the friendlies they played in last year, they did manage to find a way to win, which is an important characteristic in any sports team.
o The Bad – The US did not deserve to beat Mexico last February, nor Switzerland, or even South Africa. While winning is always good, we should be cruising to victory against lesser opponents, not playing down to their level.
o The Ugly – We’ve proven that we can play like absolute crap and still beat middle to lower-middle tier teams. Hopefully you, dear reader, are as fed up as I am about our little cupcake scrimmages, and yearn for the USMNT to actually play top tier teams all the time. No more college-preconference schedule-confidence boosting matches!!!

Other
o The Good – The U20s played decently in their World Cup this past summer in Canada, the highlights coming when they beat Poland 6-0 and Brazil 2-1. Against Poland, young Mr. Adu scored a hat-trick, showing all the doubters that when playing against kids that are only 2 years older than he is, he’s pretty good. Though, I didn’t see Wayne Rooney playing in the U20 World Cup when he was 18. In the Brazil game Jozy Altidore became a name on everyone’s radar by bagging the brace, though they were pretty easy finishes, and $2million transfer Fredy Adu outplayed $30million transfer Alexandre Pato.
o The Bad – Bob Bradley has given many, many guys their first call up to the National side, which is good. However, with a couple of exceptions, the newbies failed to impress or really make any impact that would lead me to believe that there’s hope for the program beyond 2010. The counter point is that I wasn’t around when the Claudios, McBrides, and the rest of the older generation were getting their first caps, so I cannot adequately compare their first contributions to those of the guys from this past year. Here’s to hoping that they get better with time and experience.
o The Ugly – In the past 13 months, we’ve played Mexico twice and scheduled two more games against them. The game last February was played in Phoenix, which is basically a suburb of Mexico City. The Gold Cup final was played in Chicago, which has more Mexicans than US Citizens. And this coming February’s contest will be held in Houston, another suburb of Mexico City. Could someone at the USSF please stop thinking in terms of dollar signs and start thinking in terms of giving our boys a true home field advantage for once? I understand the Gold Cup final location was determined before we knew who would be in it, but come on we knew. The fourth game mentioned above was set to be played in Mexico City at the treacherous Azteca Stadium, but was cancelled due to TV stations bickering. I put it to you, the people, to get some sort of movement going to have these games held in Boise, Idaho. If more Mexicans that Americans show up there, then we can pretty much draw one, and only one, conclusion: Mexican fans are psychotic, because no one wants to go to Boise.

Blatently Stolen Articles: Impact subs added to football lexicon

2007-12-08T08:52:00.000-06:00

by Norman Hubbard, ESPNSoccernet.com

As antiquated terms such as 'wing-half' disappear from footballing vocabulary, so others spring up to take their place. 'In the hole' has now become commonplace, along with 'the Makelele role' and 'support striker', while there could also be another addition with the concept of an impact substitute becomingly increasingly popular.

It is growing in currency, but it is not a novel idea as Liverpool's David Fairclough excelled in the role the best part of three decades ago. Yet as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, the deadliest replacement of the Premier League era, heads off into retirement, his legacy is apparent on the benches of several clubs.

If Solskjaer's success was attributable, in part, to his ability to analyse a match before his arrival, it would suggest that the role of the impact substitute was best suited to footballing pensioners, lacking the legs for 90 minutes, yet capable of exerting an influence for a briefer period.

However, it now seems to be the preserve of the youthful, bursting with energy and keen to impress in their cameo. Although some matches have been changed with the introduction of high-calibre players - such as Fernando Torres against Fulham or Carlos Tevez versus Sporting Lisbon - neither qualifies as an impact substitute. They were automatic choices, briefly demoted for reasons of fitness or squad rotation, rather than specialist substitutes. Nor do Tottenham's third and fourth choice forwards count; Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe rank among the frustrated, coveting the starting spots.

In contrast, Louis Saha's role as an impact substitute may be enforced. The fragile Frenchman rarely appears capable of completing 90 minutes, so saving him for a potentially decisive finale is an idea with merit. His potential to make a difference is enhanced by his obvious differences with the strikers who start for Manchester United, Tevez and Wayne Rooney.

Saha is naturally happier leading the line and, more accustomed to running in behind opposition defences, can effect a change in the gameplan by providing another element to the United attack. It is no coincidence that both of his goals this season - against Sunderland and Chelsea - have come when he was a substitute, whereas recent starts against Bolton and Sporting Lisbon have been unprofitable.

Liverpool can recount a similar story of their impact substitute. When Ryan Babel was promoted to the starting line-up against FC Porto, he produced his most ineffective display for several weeks. However, as a replacement, he made four entertaining cameos in as many games, yielding a quartet of goals, two against Besiktas and, following an important contribution against Fulham, one apiece against Newcastle and Bolton. At £11million, Babel may appear expensive to be deemed a replacement, but as eight of his 12 Premier League appearances have come from the bench, it suggests that Rafa Benitez feels he is best utilised as such.

Arsenal's Theo Walcott is yet to produce the firm evidence, in the form of goals, but there is a school of thought that he is also at his most productive when a late entrant to the proceedings. Versatility helps, with the option of deploying the youngster on the left, the right or as a central striker according to Arsene Wenger's needs, and he could yet adopt a similar role for England. It marks a change of approach from Wenger, however; as a few years ago, his idea of an impact substitute appeared to be Gilles Grimandi, capable of playing several positions and invariably brought on to shore up the side when ahead.

Yet impact substitutes are by no means confined to the title challengers. Matt Derbyshire provides speed and zest from the bench for Blackburn where, with a strike partnership of the ability of Roque Santa Cruz and Benni McCarthy, first-team football is understandably hard to come by.

Derbyshire has a happy knack of making a telling contribution, as does Everton's Victor Anichebe. Indeed, David Moyes has voiced the opinion that the striker is at his best when brought off the bench. That certainly appears to be the case in Europe with first Metalist Kharkiv and then Nurnberg unable to deal with the replacement's bruising physicality at the end of an arduous game.

The common denominator among these five impact substitutes is pace and it is proof that even the quickest and fittest defences can tire as gaps appear in the closing stages.

Empics
Shevchenko: The world's first 'non-impact' player?

That said, the impact substitute is the logical consequence of developments such as the widely accepted theory that four strikers are a necessity, or the need that every manager expresses for strength in depth. Indeed, with bloated squads growing with each transfer window, it also makes sense to give some of the supporting cast a specialist role of their own. To redefine them from fringe players to, in effect, specialist finishers who could change a game in the closing stages, makes sense.

Perhaps that is the fate of one of Tottenham's multitude of midfielders. Tom Huddlestone, conspicuously lacking the pace of the other impact substitutes, has not been granted a start by Juande Ramos so far. Yet, brought on at half-time twice within three days against Aalborg and Birmingham, he created a goal in both games, suggesting a passing midfielder can also adapt to the pace of the game immediately and could therefore be classified as an impact substitute.

At the other end of the spectrum, however, there is a less desirable role, that of the 'non-impact substitute'. At the moment, that appears to be Andriy Shevchenko's unwanted lot as he continues not to influence proceedings at Chelsea. If 'the Shevchenko role' is added to the football lexicon, it will not be as a compliment.

Blatter Relieves Self on USA/Mexico 2018 Hopes, and Owen Delusional After Playing FIFA 08

2007-11-15T23:25:00.000-06:00

Sepp Blatter announced last week that FIFA would be putting an end to the World Cup rotation system after the 2014 tournament was awarded to the only South American nation that bid: Brazil. In a gentleman’s agreement other South American nations pulled their bids off of the table to present a more united front, even though the continent has been guaranteed the tournament for quite some time. In hindsight, though, Brazil was going to be the only country in South America to get the nod, as they’re the only nation with enough square mileage to accommodate the sheer number of people that descend on the host country in a World Cup year, as well as easier travel compared to the mountainous nations in the south and west of the continent.

Brazil is still light years behind nations on other continents when it comes to safety from crime, infrastructure, public transportation, stadium worthiness, and on and on and on. However, it will nice to see the tournament return to Latin America after almost a 30 year absence since Mexico ’86 and it will have been 36 years since the greatest sporting event in the world has graced the shores of South America. As an added bonus Brazil is the all time winningest team the World Cup has ever seen with 5 titles to their credit. Even though England claims to have invented the modern game, one could argue that the sport was truly invented on the back alleys of Brazil’s poorest streets.

I digress.

The real issue at hand is that Blatter has ended the rotation policy one cycle before North America or Australia were to get a crack at the tournament, opening the bidding to any country. I believe North America would’ve gotten it first since Australia is now part of the Asian Football Confederation, and they last hosted in 2002. While it would’ve been nice to see the cup return to the US, or Mexico even, 24 years, 32 for Mexico, after last hosting I can see why Blatter and the suits at FIFA decided to go this route.

His reasoning for ending the rotation policy was to bring back a little healthy competition to host the event. And, with all of the politics that are involved in these sorts of dealings the World Cup bidding process has been reduced to electing the Prom Queen and Student Government at a suburban high school. When it was Asia, Africa, and South America’s turns to host only one legitimate bid came forth for each continent. This could’ve been due to the fact that the countries that stepped forward to claim their World Cup were the only capable ones on each of their respective continents. But, when it was Europe’s turn Germany and England were the only real contenders to step forward, and England was bullied into submission by the rest of Europe, again, leaving only one real bid. The thing that probably saddened Mr. Blatter the most was that Europe is the most able continent, with respect to stadia public transport and fan-base, when it comes to staging a World Cup and they could only produce one real bid.

In the last week I’ve been making many trips to my epiphany toilet in hopes of devising an unbiased system that would help narrow down all of the possible bids into 3 or 4 solid contenders for hosting. Here’s my plan:

-Bidding will commence 8 years prior to the cup being bid for

-Every country will be allowed to bid, unless they’ve hosted within the last two cycles.

-Joint bids will be considered, only if there is enough stadia and accommodations, and they are limited to two nations (we can’t have 3 host nations for Pele’s sake because it would butcher the qualifying setup that works so nicely for all involved)

-Bids will be awarded points for the following criteria:

-Stadia:
- Number of Stadia that can seat 50,000 or more (+100 for each one already available, +35 for every proposal on the table)
- Quality of said Stadia (rate each on a scale of 1-100pts for Stadia already in existence, 1-50 for each proposal)
- Location/Disbursement of said Stadia – need clusters of stadia to limit travel by fans and teams (+500 for nation with best clustering)
- If Stadia aren’t already available, or upgrades are needed) and proposals are put forth in their place, rate the quality and quantity of construction crews and companies (+25 points for each, rated on a scale of 1-5) and the ability of the nation to complete major construction projects on time and budget in the past (rate on a scale of 1-100)

- Accommodations
- Number of Hotels that have 200 or more rooms for spectators to stay in (+250 for each one)
- Quality of said lodging (rate each on a scale of 1-100pts)
- Location – Hotels must be within 25 miles of a Stadium mentioned in the above criteria, or located near public transportation that would take no longer than 1 hour to get to a stadium (+250 for each)

- Transportation
- Quality of Local Public Transportation in the cities surrounding each Stadium mentioned above (points are awarded on a scale of 500 for best, 350 for second, 150 for third place amongst the bidders)
- Quality of National Transportation – Busses, Airlines, Trains (same as above)
- Number of different options available to spectators

- Safety
- Quality of Police Force in areas surrounding the Hotels and Stadiums mentioned above (same points scale as Transportation)
- Quality of Fire and Medics in areas surrounding the Hotels and Stadiums mentioned above (same as above)

- Fan Base
- Number of Professional Teams (+100 for each)
- Number of Club/Travel Leagues for people under the age of 21 (+200 for each)
- Number of Rec Leagues – Youth (+100 for each) Adult (+250 for each)
- Television ratings of Professional Soccer Matches (same scale as Transportation)
- Attendance – based on Percentage of capacity for all Professional and National Team matches (same scale as Transportation)
- Money spent on Soccer equipment and paraphernalia (same scale as Transportation)

- Pancakes – how else would we bribe forwards to score?
- Number of Perkins, Waffle Houses, IHOPs, Denny’ses, and Pancake House type restaurants in the vicinity of Stadiums mentioned above (points are awarded on a scale of 5000 for first, 3000 for second, and 1000 for third)

- Prior Hosting
- If the nation has hosted in the last 4 years, at time of bid (-1000 points)
- If the nation has hosted in the last 12 years, at time of bid (-250 points, note: can’t be docked for this and the one above; max dock of points = 1000)
- If the Federation that the nation belongs to will host in either of the two cups immediately before the one being bid for (-5000 points)
- If the Federation that the nation belongs to has hosted in the four cups immediately before the one being bid for (-1000 points, note: can’t be docked for this one and the one above; max dock of points = 5000)

After all of the bids have their points totaled up, FIFA will take the top 5 and vote, the nation/bid with the most votes wins. I believe that this foolproof and unbiased point system will help to whittle down the list of nations bidding to a reasonable number to vote on, leaving room for just a little politicking so the suits at FIFA don’t go too crazy.

Michael Owen has claimed recently that England are still a World Power when it comes to the beautiful game. I only saw the headline for this story, and was laughing so hard that I wet myself and couldn’t continue to read the whole story. So, this is an un-researched OpEd piece (nothing new to those of you who read our site regularly).

Apparently Mikey has been playing FIFA 08 for far too long while recovering from whatever nagging injury he has this year. Not to knock Seven Guys Short’s favorite Footy Sim, but they still haven’t found a way to program two qualities that can make or break a player (and nation): Craziness, example Roy Keane, and Clutch-ness, as an individual, club, and country. If these two qualities were able to be put into FIFA 08, Clint Dempsey would be a much better player in the game, and all of the individual English players’ talent and high skill ratings would be thrown out the window when they played together as a team. You see it’s not just the individual skills that a team puts together on the field to overcome their opposition, it’s also their fortitude and resolve that they utilize to overcome their own, and their club or nation’s, demons. I would like to now define World Power for you, my beloved readers:

World Power – n. a state or other political entity having the power to influence the course of world events (thank you to Dictionary.com). Put in Football terms, a nation so great that it continually qualifies for every major tournament, and always makes it to at least the Quarterfinals of said tournaments, more often than not, Semi-finals and Finals. Also, a World Power has won more than one major tournament since the beginning of time (Hell, the US has even won it’s regional championship 5 times), and must be capable of swatting away teams that are well below said World Power in FIFA’s crocked rankings.

So, stop playing Playstation and go eat bowl of fucking Life ® Mikey, and like it, because England are not a World Power anymore.

While Mikey eats his Life ®, I'm going to go dream of pancakes slathered in syrup.

The Saga Continues...

2007-11-11T16:43:00.000-06:00

Just when you were warming up for another edition of "Seven Guys Short" Radio we go and pull the rug out from underneath you. The site that has been serving up our podcasts for awhile now is heading towards total shit so we're changing podcast hosts.

Until that's all taken care of we can't upload new shows (like last weeks!) so once again there isn't a show this week. For the two or three people that listen to us on a regular basis, sit tight and we'll have this straightened out soon. For the rest of you... come back real soon.

On a related note, we're looking into spicing up the place we've got here on the Interweb. Soon we'll be taking on a new website and our own domain name and we've got a logo (or "crest" in footy-speak) in the works. One of these days we mightg actually have a podcast product to use in conjunction with all the marketing things were rolling out!

For now we'll still be cranking out written nonsense on the blog and will have the spoken word issues all cleaned up.

Stay tuned!

Former Chelsea boss hired as Beckham's babysitter

2007-11-09T09:31:00.000-06:00

No, not Jose Mourinho the recently disposed Chelsea front man, but former, former Chelsea coach Ruud Gullit has been hired to coach Major League Soccer's Los Angeles Galaxy. A two-time World Soccer Magazine World Player of the year the Dutchman has also headed Newcastle and Feyenoord, but has not coached since 1999.

Frank Yallop, LA's previous coach left Monday to reunite with his old San Jose Earthquakes side. One wonders whether or not Yallop's favorite son, Landon Donovan will follow him. No one was more pleased when he joined the Galaxy two years ago and the former Earthquake-mates linked up again. Donovan had less-than-happy remarks in response to the news. From a Yahoo! Sports news report:

Galaxy forward and Team USA captain Landon Donovan, who played in both Yallop's title-winning teams in San Jose, joined Beckham in offering his support to Yallop, and suggested that interference from above - perhaps a side-effect of Beckham's presence - had contributed to his departure.

"I like Frank as a person and I think he's a great coach," Donovan told the Times. "The unfortunate part is, he hasn't been allowed to show what a good coach he is this year.

"He's not been able to be himself. He's had people in his ear telling him what to do, and he's not been able to just get on with it. When he finally was left alone, we went on a seven-game unbeaten streak. I don't think anyone wants to work in those circumstances."

But in any case, Gullit is in and who knows if he'll be the man to change the Galaxy's fortunes. The LA side, after a horrendous first half of the 2007 season, rattled off seven Beckham-less consecutive wins and just missed the playoffs with a loss to the Chicago Fire on the last day of the season.

In my opinion LA general manager Alexi Lalas reminds me a lot of Isaih Thomas. The former U.S. National Team defender parallels nicely with the former Detroit Piston NBA star in his inability to run professional sport teams. Lalas has now been at the head of two MLS franchises and both have seen disasterous results. The Metrostars of New York (now Red Bull) were never that great of a side and the club went through coaches like underwear, but Lalas never managed to increase their fortunes despite having the nation's largest market to present on.

Then Lalas' do-nothing results in New York are rewarded with a new job with successful side Los Angeles. Where does the club head? Straight south. Steve Sampson is hired (one of Lalas' former national team coaches), who bombed on the internation coaching stage, and proceeded to suck it up in MLS. He signs Beckham, over-promotes him, forces him into action too soon, and surprise, surprise the guy gets hurt. What was supposed to be a huge deal for American soccer ends up covering everyone's face in egg.

This news of Rudd Gullit's hiring ha now turned into an extended rant on the absolute suckiness of Alexi Lalas, but I do hope that he has the coaching know-how to get the Galaxy squad working in concert between the league's two top players. Its crucial that Gullit understand that obviously Beckham and Donovan are cogs in the larger, 11-man machine that is a soccer team. Granted they are high-quality cogs, but parts of a whole none-the-less.

MLS News and Notes: Arena Axed, Yallop Yanks Self, Johnson Jinx Over?

2007-11-07T13:51:00.000-06:00

* Red Bulls New York manager/sporting director resigned earlier this week after his side failed to make it past the first round of the Major League Soccer playoffs. Arena, the former U.S. National Team coach, led the New York team to a year of mixed successes. The Red Bulls, who have often been the MLS whipping-boys, finished with a winning record behind the goal-scoring exploits of DP Juan Pablo Angel (a MLS MVP candidate).

After the 2006 World Cup I couldn't have given two shits about Arena. In fact I was kinda hoping he would get hit by a bus, but he seemed to find a decent fit in New York with former Nats captain Claudio Reyna on his roster. It was interesting that Arena departed New York with a resignation, which means that maybe the coach has something else lined up. Maybe he's going to give the women's team a shot? Editor's Note: This is the second completely made-up U.S. Nat coaching rumor to appear on this blog.

* Eddie Johnson, one of America's most over-rated soccer players was awarded Major League Soccer's "Comback Player of the Year" award. EJ had 15 goals in MLS this season, including the league only back-to-back games where a player scored a hat trick.

Too bad he can't play like this for the Nats. After a lightning start for Johnson on the U.S. team, he can't seem to get minutes or when he does he's mostly ineffective and a waste of space. That goes for a lot of the attacking options for the Nats right now too. It looks like MLS awarded Eddie for doing something that he should have been doing all along. This how I would imagine the award ceremony going:

MLS Guy: And the award for MLS comeback player of the year award goes to... Eddie Johnson of the Kansas City Wizards.

Audience: Groan!

MLS Guy: Hey, everybody! Listen, now I know that Eddie had a rough couple of years, but look he scored a whole bunch of goals this season after sucking complete ass last year. I think its completely fair that MLS reward a player for doing exactly what he's grossly overpaid to do.

EJ: Ummm... I'd like to thank my mom for this.

Audience: Booooooo!

* Frank Yallop, David Beckham's wet nurse/coach of the Los Angeles Galaxy, also quit this week prefering a team that doesn't have a single player on it to one with the league's two most recognizable players. Yallop will return to coach the resurrected San Jose Earthquakes, which will join MLS as another expansion team and exists only on paper as of right now.

* Preki, the head coach of Chivas USA, was named MLS "coach of the year." Nothing much to say here, other than.. "congrats." First year coach propells the team to taking the season derby series against LA rivals Galaxy, gets out of the Western Conference basement, and loses narrowly to KC in the playoffs. It'll be interesting to see if Preki and co can avoid a sophomore slump.

"Seven Guys Short" Radio for November 4th, 2007

2007-11-04T21:00:00.000-06:00

The "two headed dragon with a goiter" known as Max, Jon, and Dan were at it again in "majestic and walkable" Shorewood, WI for another installment of "Seven Guys Short" Radio LIVE at the Brit Inn (4473 North Oakland Avenue). Listen to our latest musings at our podcast page (UPDATE: Working on getting the show uploaded... some problems with our server) and feel free to add your two cents in the comments section. We're always looking for positive and/or constructive feedback to improve our lil' baby we've got here.

Show #17

Song: LCD Soundsystem, "Daft Punk is Playing at My House"

Top Stories (3rd Minute)
- Oh Meola, how far you've fallen!
- Tottenham tells Jol "you've got to go"
- Manchester United vs. Arsenal: Stalemate at the top of the table
- FIFA Sticks to to North America in World Cup rotation
- Feast vs. Famine: USL and MLS Differ on player pay

Domestic Topics (4th Minute)
- Former U.S. National Team starting goalkeeper Tony Meola in Milwaukee "dodging beers" at "the Cell" for Major Indoor Soccer League's Jersey Ironmen
- Chicago Fire and Cuauhtemoc Blanco suprise in the MLS playoffs
- MLS development program pay makes it difficult for league to capture/retain top domestic talent

*Brit Inn Ad with bartender and Manchester United fan, Tink

Song: Kings of Leon, "Molly's Chambers"

England Topics (28th Minute)
- Manchester United and Arsenal super-clash recap
- Tottenham throws Martin Jol under the bus ("at halftime"!)
- Liverpool draw, disappoint against Blackburn (Is Dirk Kuyt the wrong man up top for Rafa Benitez?)

Song: Artic Monkeys, "Still Take You Home"

Around the World in... However long it takes (46th Minute)
- FIFA World Cup rotation policy goes out the window (Will the United States see another Cup soon?)
- Jon and Max salivate over a Klaas-Jan Huntelaar move to ManU
- Completed in Seven Minutes

... Of The Week (53rd Minute)
- Player: Frank Lampard, Chelsea and Cecs Fabregas, Arsenal
- Manager: Avram Grant, Chelsea
- Team: Chicago Fire, MLS

Song: Paul Oakenfold, "Beautiful Goal"

* Stoppage Time (61st Minute)

Blatently Stolen Articles: Tearing Apart the Criticism

2007-11-04T15:44:00.000-06:00

by Edgar Zuniga , Yanks Abroad

Wait. Is this the same Freddy Adu that scored only one goal in 11 games for Real Salt Lake earlier this year? Adu is tearing it up with Benfica and he just keeps getting better and better with each coming week.

Thanks to the MLS hype machine, Adu's career has always been followed with keen interest and his performances have been dissected under a microscope.

Adu's always had his doubters, who questioned everything from his age to his commitment, and there were some cynical enough to proclaim that Adu's young career amounted to failed expectations and just a bunch of hype.

Some of the demands from these people were outrageous. If you listened to them, they'd have you thinking that Adu was supposed to be the next Pelé (who made his professional debut at 15).

Honestly, Adu never lived up to the expectations and hype in MLS, and equally as honestly, it was very unfair to load so much pressure on his young shoulders and expect him to carry the league. Then again, what was he doing in MLS? Sure, MLS may not be a top-flight international league (not quite there…yet), but if he was playing with the big boys, it must've been for a good reason.

Now that Adu is doing well with Benfica I'm wondering if he was always that good: Was MLS holding him back? Or did it take him this long to come into his own?

While in MLS, Adu went through ups and downs. There were flashes of brilliance and questionable decisions, and through it all it was very easy to forget how young Adu really was.

However, now that he is 18, we can see that Adu has matured very well. To anyone that ever doubted his potential, Adu is not only tearing apart the criticisms, he's etching a completely new identity for himself with Benfica, and has quickly earned the respect of new coach Jose Antonio Camacho, whose trust in Adu has paid dividends.

In case you missed it, Adu's first goal with Benfica came in dramatic fashion - on a penalty kick in the 92nd minute of a League Cup game against Estrela da Amadora. Not only did Adu score the tying goal in the dying seconds of the game, Benfica eventually won the game on penalty kicks - including yet another by Adu.

Camacho's confidence in Adu seems to parallel former coach Fernando Santos's admiration, and now Benfica's staff has pointed out that Adu's skills and attitude in training will lead to him becoming an integral part of his team.

So, what about the US National Team? Adu was amazing with the Under-20 squad earlier this year, and his performance at the U-20 World Cup in Canada was the first indication that he was on the verge of something great.

Does this mean that Adu will finally earn a full-international start in an official, FIFA-sanctioned game? Why has it taken so long?

It's not like the US National Team is bursting at the seams with quality attackers, and Adu was impressive in the USA's win over Switzerland, almost scoring a tremendous goal on a breakaway.

If Bob Bradley has any sense, then all that's about to change…

We are bearing witness to the coming of age of Adu and New York's Jozy Altidore, and the burgeoning talents of Clint Dempsey and DaMarcus Beasley, who are all crafty, quick and unafraid to bear down on defenders one-on-one.

However, of all these, it is Adu who is really exciting to watch. Deuce and Beasley are a bit older, and Altidore just ended his second season in MLS, but Adu is already putting up impressive results in his first few months with Benfica in a very competitive league.

Now, here's the best part...Adu is only 18 and he's still learning.

In fact, if you look down the road a bit and you see Adu lining up alongside Altidore, Deuce and Beasley, even the most cynical US Soccer fan probably has a slight grin creeping up on them.

What it all boils down to is that US Soccer could actually field a serious contender for the World Cup in the next two to three World Cups.

Don't laugh.

We will take what we can from 2002, learn from the tactical debacle of 2006 and make sure that the next generation of US players are instilled with the confidence to stare down the world's best and finally take US Soccer to next level.

It's time to give Adu...well, his due. He has weathered all the criticism and cynicism and a bunch of other-isms, and looks to become one of the cornerstones of our National Team.

Nike gets one back for the good ol' US of A

2007-11-01T06:32:00.000-05:00

My apologies dear readers, as it has been a while since I have put pen to paper for our blog. I promise that will change in the near future.

In an earlier post Dan spoke of a double blow to the US on the soccer landscape; Kasey Keller's career revival at Fulham taking a possible four-month set back, and Greg Ryan unceremoniously shown the door after a debacle of a World Cup. Since then FIFA has voted against continuing their World Cup Rotation policy, meaning that the US and Mexico are not only engaging in a bidding war amongst themselves, but also the like of England, Russia, Australia, and on an on. Add to that the Premier League all but poo-pooing any chance of a regular season fixture being played across the pond in the US, due to integrity of competition and other such nonsense.

In the midst of all of this, Nike pulled one back for the good guys. In that grandest of American Business traditions, Nike opted to purchase a rival competitor instead of beating them straight-up. In a move estimated at $528 million dollars, Nike has bought out British soccer outfitters Umbro. While this may make some of England and Ireland's fans happy, since Umbro has made a travashamockery of their kits this past qualifying cycle, but does it do anything for the American fan? Discuss amongst yourselves and leave us some comments.

I'll be back later in the week to discuss the whole World Cup Rotation issue.

Enjoy your pancakes

"Seven Guys Short" Radio for October 28, 2007

2007-10-29T10:14:00.000-05:00

Jon and Max had a late soccer game and Dan was just coming back from New York City so this week's episode of "Seven Guys Short" Radio was put on hold. Next Sunday will have all the soccer news and views you'll need right here.

Remember we'll be at the Brit Inn in Shorewood, WI at 4pm each Sunday recording the show. Drop on down and join us for a pint and chances are you'll be able to make a guest appearance to share your own knowledge of the game.

Major League Soccer Top Goals

2007-10-23T16:15:00.000-05:00

Hey remember when we were going to do all that great coverage of MLS and our closest-club-geographically-so-I-guess-I-should-be-a-fan-of-it team, the Chicago Fire... yeah me neither. Once the Beckham train de-railed, railed, then de-railed again and add in the fact that I played rec volleyball on Thursdays so I missed "Soccer Night in America" on ESPN, plus they ran that up against The Office and 30 Rock on NBC.. I pretty much had given up on the domestic game.

I feel pretty bad about that, but in my defense... actually there isn't much excuse. BUT I will try to make it up by dropping the season's (and by season I mean regular season not playoffs which is MLS's 2nd season) best goals.

Maybe I'll catch one of those post-season game-thingys sometime soon... these guys look halfway decent.