Nine Guys Short

We've Moved

2008-12-06T18:44:00.000-06:00

Got tired of this blog so we're moving on... if there's anyone who had stopped here and wants to continue reading head over to: http://snortingtheendline.blogspot.com.

Finally Back in the Saddle

2008-11-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

So it's been a month or 5 since I last posted, my apologies to the few who still check this space for opinions and comments. It's been busy to say the least, 3 weddings, 1 honeymoon, and some crazy work projects have made it hard to do anything when I am at home, let alone commenting on any and all soccer news in the world. Alas, something has come along that has finally gotten the creative (or snide asshole) juices flowing.

Beckham is going to the San Siro, I know this is nothing new. There have been others out there who have opined as to whether this will be good or bad for MLS. My opinion, if Beckham plays well and continues to hang onto that spot on Fabio Capello's bench, this will be a fantastic move for MLS. Think about the cast of players he'll get to discuss the merits of MLS with, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Sheva, Pato, etc. Also, performing well on this stage will lend some credibility to the rumors that MLS isn't quite as lowly as originally perceived. All of this while receiving some form of compensation (I hope) from the Milan club for Beckham's services. However, this move is absolutely horrible from the Galaxy's perspective. The captain of the club going AWOL during the pre-season when his club is likely to be shaken up quite a bit, does not bode well for all of the new talent coming in. In fact the new coach would be wise to select a new captain for the club.

Speaking of the Galaxy's new coach....Bruce Arena apparently did not learn a damn thing from coaching the US National team. I was at the Galaxy-Fire game a couple of weeks ago and Arena started Donovan as the offensive center midfielder in a 4-4-2 formation, a position which saw Landon become a ghost during games with the National team. After the Gals were down by two, with 15 minutes to go, Arena made a switch and moved Lanny up front as a second striker. Guess what happened: the Galaxy, and Donovan in particular, started causing havoc for the Fire D, and looked like they might get one or both of those goals back. Not knowing Bruce's true intentions (maybe he's been trying to help Donovan learn the position thus increasing his value in the transfer market) it's hard to judge him and his decisions, but I think most would agree that Donovan's best position is the tucked-in striker making runs off of a target forward, or as the central attacking midfielder in a 4-2-3-1 formation, though that's only be proven against weak CONCACAF opposition.

On to LannyCakes. Apparently Jurgen Klinsman's man-crush on the Galaxy player has lead to rumors that Donovan may once again test himself in Europe. While I applaud Donovan finally getting around to testing himself in the tougher environments across the pond, I sincerely hope he is not considering moving to the gigantic Bavarian club. Not only has he been uncomfortable and misunderstood in the "Fatherland" not once, but twice, but Bayern Munich have one of the most offensively gifted squads, on paper, on the continent. So it would be extremely frustrating for a player who's used to 90 minutes every game to be coming on as a sub only if Klose, Ribery, Toni, or Podolski have an off day. Also, the German top-flight is known throughout the world as second only to the Serie A when it comes to being tactically oriented. Not that Lanny can't figure out the tactics, but he's at his best when simply pinning the ears back and playing a more free-flowing game. I hope, for Donovan's and the US National team's sake, that he is a success wherever he may end up, but I hope for his sake it's in a league where a player of his ilk can shine. Somewhere like Spain, Holland, or England.

Donovan's move brings to light another player who the US National team's success in the near future depends on; Clint Dempsey. Apparently his cameo appearance, in which he scored the face saving, game-tying goal against Pompey, was only enough to merit a spot on the bench the next game. While part of me was hoping he'd pull out the watch tapping celebration ala Clint Mathis, I'm glad he took the higher road and was respectful. A few reasons why it's time for Deuce to move on: 1) The man who brought him in is not there anymore, it's obvious that Roy Hodge couldn't give two shakes of stick about whether Dempsey sees the pitch ever again; 2) Roy Hodge's long ball first tactical approach doesn't leave much room for free flowing attacking players such as Dempsey, Bobby Zamora and Andy Johnson are better suited to this style of play; 3) Dempsey is apparently suffering from the dreaded Eddie Johnson disease, a nasty mix of complacency and lethargy. I know that the Deuce lovers out there, if they even read this blog, will be sharpening the knives and knocking down my door, but the guy has looked lazy in his recent appearances for the National team. Maybe he just plays at his own speed, but he looks as bored as a petulant preteen with ADHD. Sure he's still producing, somewhat, for the Nats, but it's against weaker opposition and I guarantee that no one outside of the CONCACAF region would be concerned about coming up against him in his current form. He needs to move to team where he can compete for a spot and be rewarded with more than just a spot on the bench, he needs to go to a team where he'll have a coach that believes in and supports him while challenging him to be at his best every single game.

If anyone is reading this, let me know your thoughts.

This About Sums It Up Nicely

2008-06-07T09:48:00.000-05:00

Here is an example of someone who receives paychecks for the way they write about soccer, in opposition to us who barely put two coherent sentences together. Jamie Trecker took the liberty of breaking down the last two US performances with a brutal, cutting honesty and clarity. Enjoy.

Fulham FC pays tribute to McBride

2008-05-31T16:42:00.001-05:00

Here's Fulham FC's video tribute to Brian McBride. It's a sad that McBride will no longer be playing in the Prem, but it'll be great for a younger generation of fans to get to see him in the MLS. I just wish he had stuck around the Cottage long enough for Eddie Johnson to learn a few things about putting the ball into the net.

We'll save the truly sappy sentiments for your actual retirement.

5 Things I learned watching USA England

2008-05-29T19:30:00.000-05:00

Actually the title should read 5 things I learned from the second half of USA England, because I'm and idiot and set up my vcr incorrectly. Anyways, onto the 5 things I learned about the USMNT from Wednesday's friendly:

1) Bob Bradley needs to make quicker substitutions
If the first half played out anything like the second half, Bradley should've been able to see that changes needed to be made at the half. If not to give us a better chance of getting the result then at least to get some other players a decent amount of minutes (see Nate Jaqua entering the game in the 90th minute, what effing good does that do anyone?). Throughout his tenure, at least the games I've watched, Bradley has been way to cautious and waited way to long to make substitutions. We, as Americans, come from Puritan blood however we've been conditioned throughout the years to be cavalier and daring. It's time we got the same out of a soccer coach, because right now daring decisions and tactics are the only thing that are going to get us anywhere in South Africa.

2) The central midfield pairing of Clark & Bradley, Bradley & Mastroeni, or Clark & Mastroeni is hereby banned from ever, ever, appearing for the 'Nats again.
For some reason the head coach of the USMNT continues to think that two holding/destroying midfielders is the best way to give our team a chance to win. I am here to tell you, as are all of the blogosphere and the English press, this will not ever, ever work against top class opposition. Why? Because none of our destroyers can maintain possession either through shielding and dribbling, or through intelligent distribution. Our best hope right now is Michael Bradley, who at the CONCACAF level shows flashes of possession. However, he needs to be paired with a more offensive minded midfielder, such as Maurice Edu (whom not known for his offensive prowess can at least distribute the ball decently), Benny Feilhaber (I think the kid, given playing time, can be a decent midfield general in the Claudio Reyna mold), or Freddy Adu (the kid is just yearning for a chance to play the number 10 role, why the hell not let him in some high caliber friendlies). The reason for this rant, our passing last night was atrocious, I think I witnessed a completion percentage of about 15% in the second half. We need someone who can at least bump that stat up a little and give others the confidence to make some passes.

3) We either need Knute Rockney giving pre-game talks or a captain that can inspire on the field
As most people who watched the game will tell you we lacked any heart, soul, pride, and passion. 'Los is a decent choice for a captain because he is reliable (most of the time) at the international level. However, there's no player in the talent pool that can rally the troops, inspire, and possibly will the team onto victory. Maybe next time we play England in the States we commandeer some of Steven Gerrard and John Terry's "little swimmers" and pair them up some of Mia Hamm's DNA, then we might be able to produce some soccer players who can lead a team and nation.

4) It's time to scrap everything we've ever known about the USMNT and just start from scratch with a young crop of players
Everything the USMNT has ever known about the sport of soccer needs to be thrown out the window. For a long time now pundits and punters alike have bemoaned the US's lack of a definitive style of play. It's time we shake some shit up and go with a new formation. I suggest a 3-5-2 this will accommodate all of our center backs and midfielders in our player pool. Granted, we still need a forward who can score. Playing this formation would allow us to utilize our speed on the flanks, and incorporate Deuce, Freddy, and LannyCakes in the same starting 11 playing close to their natural positions.

Also, it's time that we shed some dead weight. Eddie Lewis is a class act, Josh Wolff may have scored some important goals, Frankie Hejduk gives 1100% when on the field (I did mean to type eleven hundred, one hundred percent for every man on the field) and seems to live and die for our shirt, smae with Pablo Mastroeni. However much leadership these players provide, they're also remnants of the past and bring with them past baggage. I think we should just scrap anyone over the age of 28 (except goal-keepers) and just give the young'ns a baptism by fire. The kids in 1990 found a way to get into the World Cup and lay the foundation for where we are today. It's time for today's kids to lay a new foundation. We may not qualify at the top of our group, or at all, but I guarantee you that US Soccer would rise from whatever ashes there may be from this experiment and be better for it.

5) It pains me to say this but Landon Donovan was sorely missed yesterday
Without Landon Donovan on the pitch we don't stand a chance of being respected by any of the major soccer powers. I'm coming around to be tolerable of the LannyCakes fan club, and I'm realizing more and more how important he is to our team. Even with him on the pitch the Argentinas, Spains, Brazils, and Englands (etc.) of the world may not respect us, but at least we'd have proven speed and goal scoring abilities.

ESPN Drops the Ball, Again

2008-05-26T19:09:00.000-05:00

Bravo ESPN, we salute you for your dedication to covering the Euros on your family of networks and only sloughing the first days matches to ESPN Classic. For that you deserve some credit.

However, our own national team is playing it's three toughest opponents in a row, ever, and for the two "Sexier" matches, in terms of who neutrals (see: not psychotic about footie) would rather/should see, many Americans (or maybe it's just me and my shit cable package) will be forced to watch the game on tape delay, in Spanish. What is so important that the USMNT squaring off against England, in Wembley, gets the bump to ESPN Classic? The French Open - Early Round play is taking up space on ESPN 2. Fair enough that the French Open is kind of a big deal, at least it's not jump rope for heart competitions. However, that leaves the whole mother ship of ESPN wide open then, right? Wrong. All of the crappy progamming that clutters ESPN 2 during the day has gotten bumped to ESPN on Wednesday; this includes such wonderfully stimulating television as "The Best of Mike and Mike in the Morning" (a radio show that they tape so we get to see the two gentlemen sitting at radio mics pontificating about sport), 1st and 10 (I'm not sure what the hell this is about, and I've even suffered through it before), and Jim Rome is burning (someone whose show should've been cancelled long ago).

While I've gotten used to the Entire SPorts Network snubbing my sport before, forcing me to watch it in Spanish. This time they've gone too far. Here's a game that could actually put soccer on the map in this country, if the US gets a result in London you can queue the Boston Tea Party References on Sports Center that evening, and guarantee that more people will then tune into the MLS season to watch LannyCakes taunt Beckham during Galaxy games. As well as providing some fodder for discussion about whether the US can actually compete in South Africa 2010. If the US were playing a meaningless friendly against Columbia (which you televised) or China (another that you televised) I could understand the snub, but this game is higher profile than the qualifier against Barbados. {Though, failure to get a result against the tiny island nation will undo any good the comes of the three friendlies; we're talking nuclear winter type setback.}

It was about time the USSF grew a pair and started scheduling more respected friendlies, now it's time for the Sports Journalists in this country, especially ESPN, to give the USMNT and soccer some respect. I'm not talking about taking up two of the three networks type of respect, say on June 8th when ESPN 2 is busy televising the Euros and ABC is televising "To BE Determined" while US vs. Argentina gets bumped to ESPN Classic. I'm just talking about some baby steps. That's All.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

2008-05-16T20:06:00.000-05:00

It's that time again: time for me to tell our Yanks Abroad what they should do with their careers and their lives, because I am the smartest football pundit/punter on earth. Without further arrogance nor adieu:

Bobby Convey – Stay

You played maybe 15 total games in the Premiership, and even then you looked out of your league. Your performances in the Championship made you a fan favorite and gave you confidence, which in turn, got you onto the 2006 World Cup squad. We need that Bobby Convey to come back, but better. So reek havoc in the Championship or else you’ll slowly fade away into American soccer oblivion.

Marcus Hahneman – Stay

I’m not sure anyone in the Premiership is looking for a day-in day-out number 1, unless you count the three teams climbing up from the Colaship, but their defenses are probably worse than Reading’s was this past year.

Eddie Lewis – GO

You could probably hop onto one of the three promoted teams, but you’d be facing almost certain relegation. Fulham may be an option because they love their Americans there, however you’d still probably be facing a relegation battle. I hear San Jose has a team again and are looking for a new face for their franchise, plus you could show Claudio Reyna how to age gracefully in MLS.

Benny Feilhaber – Push

Since Derby went right back down, I think they were relegated by November of ’07, you may have shot a scoring some playing time, which you desperately need. Especially since some of Derby’s midfielder will not want to spend a season amongst the heathens below the Premiership, Robbie Savage I’m looking at you. Though you could probably get on with a relatively decent Intertoto cup side from Norway, Sweeden, Russia, etc. or even a lower table side in Germany, Holland, or Scotland.

Brian McBride – Stay

You along with Jimmy Bullard returned to the Cottage after injury and propelled Fulham to 17^th. As the captain I feel that you’re obligated to stay unless Sir Alex finally wakes up and realizes the issues ManU has because they lack a target forward, or Rafa starts looking for a Crouch replacement (though I don’t want to have to buy a Liverpool shirt, Adidas is churning out such shit these days).

Clint Dempsey – Stay

You just signed the new deal and magically Fulham stayed up, I think you’re their good luck charm. You still need to put together one full solid season, beginning to end, before the bigger clubs like Aston Villa, and Boro come wanting.

Eddie Johnson – Stay

Hopefully Fulham will crash the European party this season and the extra games will mean some PT, if not go out on loan, but stick with the Whites even if they go down next year. You could get a lot of experience and better yourself this way, then move on to hopefully bigger and better things. It wouldn’t hurt you to play well in the upcoming US friendlies and qualifiers either.

Kasey Keller – Stay

Through some act of god you managed to keep the number 1 shirt, even though you were a bit nervy. Frankly anything other coming back to the Seattle Sounders would almost certainly be a step down.

Carlos Bocanegra – GO

You’re not wanted, I’m not sure why because the oafs Fulham have back their now don’t really inspire confidence either. Play well this summer, then jump to newbie coming up from the Colaship, make your case then move to a mid table club a year later.

Tim Howard – Stay

Playing at Everton has solidified your status as the next great keeper from the states. It’s also propelled you to the number 1 status for you country, and given you the confidence to succeed there. Stay there until they force you out.

Brad Friedel – Stay

In Blackburn, you’re a god amongst men, stay until your AARP membership comes in the mail.

Michael Bradley – GO

Continue to play well this summer, and you’ll have to beat the mid table teams in England and Germany away with mortar rounds and Agent Orange. Tell your agent to pimp you as the “Poor Man’s Michael Carrick/Owen Hargreaves/Roy Keane (though without the nasty side).”

Oguchi Onyewu – Push

Playing back at Standard this season has made you more confident for the US, and you weren’t picking up bad habits from that clown Bramble. However, I think you may stagnate in Belgium, if the offer is right I say go wherever it is, except Intertoto Cup country or France.

DaMarcus Beasley – Push

On the one hand Rangers are a massive club as far as mid size European nations go, they’re always in the Champions League or UEFA Cup, but on the other they play anti-football (I read that they played a 6-3-1 in the UEFA Cup final, boo hiss). If someone with more attacking verve comes in for you, go. But, you might have to wait until January after proving your knee is healed

Freddy Adu – No Clue

Benfica is a larger club, they’re constantly in Europe, but I can’t read their website so I really don’t know if they’re slandering your over-hyped name or not. If you think you may have a shot at some PT then stay, if not go on loan to some Dutch team, where at least you’ll get to have a little fun in the red-light district every now and again, and on the field too.

Jozy Altidore – Stay

Just until January. Continue learning from Juan “I used to wear an Alice Band” Pablo Angel, it can only make you better. Plus you can more than likely haul in 15 goals this season while making a name for yourself with the ‘Nats. All pluses when it comes to enticing Europe’s fine suitors. One tale of caution, pick the club that is right for you. You don’t want to end up like Shaun Wright-Phillips now do you?

Landon Donovan – HAHAHAHAHAHA GO

I hear the New Kids on the Block are getting back together. Go my little Lanny, go, go, go!!! Thanks Pies, this made me laugh out loud.

Fulham FC possibly in Europe, WTF?!?

2008-05-16T19:24:00.000-05:00

As most of you informed readers know by now (we’re never the first to break news here at SGS) Fulham FC has an outside shot at playing some continental footie next season. While this is certainly a newsworthy story, what makes it worthy of our brand of wit and sarcasm? First off, the five yanks who make West London and Craven Cottage their home.

And, secondly the fact the Fulham only escaped the drop into the Colaship by four goals and would be taking the most remote of back doors (located in the deepest, darkest, scariest alley littered with bums, trash, and tranny hookers that look like Ronaldinho) into European competition. That would be qualifying for the Intertoto Cup (this competition is considered a European competition like fried-chicken dipped in alfredo sauce is considered health food) via the FIFA Fair Play league, which could grant them entry into the qualifying rounds of the UEFA Cup. Since football is such a business anymore, no one would turn down the opportunity to play in Europe, get more revenue, and expand their brand to the darkest corners of Scandinavia and Eastern Europe; however, someone at Fulham should step up and give their place in the UEFA Cup via Intertoto Cup via the FIFA Fair Play League/rankings to someone more deserving, like say the Milwaukee Bavarians who, on a good day, could probably take all three points from the Cottage. Would the manliest of Prem managers, Roy Keane, allow his Sunderland team to qualify for Europe’s ugly step sister competition in such a way? I think not. One also has to wonder if the FIFA Fair Play League and Intertoto Cup were really created to give sub par Premiership, Serie A, Bundesliga, and Primera Liga sides a chance to get into Europe. Because, as we all know, shit clubs from Turkey, Greece, Russia, Norway, Iceland, Slovakia, et al. don’t even deserve the same chances that the shit teams in the Big 4 Leagues do.

Back to the first point I made about why this would even concern us here at Seven Guys Short; Kasey Keller, Eddie Johnson, Brian McBride, Clint Dempsey, and Carlos Bocanegra (if he stays). I as an American, and thus a Fulham fan, am happy that the Whites are possibly going to be playing on the continent in the fall. It isn’t often you see an American playing in Europe’s top club competitions, and to have the possibility of 5 yanks getting the opportunity to play in Europe, in the same season, in the same game is something that I didn’t think I’d see in my lifetime. It’ll be great experience for the players, as well as showing some people across the pond that some of us yanks are true players. Also, the increased number of games means that Roy Hodgson will need a big squad at his disposal; 1 + 2 = 3, 4² = 16, connecting the dots that means Eddie Johnson and ‘Los (who has recently fallen out of favor with Hodgie) might get to see the field in the Carling Cup, maybe even the FA Cup or Premiership.

Also, everyone knows that European paydays can change a club’s fortunes around, just ask Leeds United. Sorry, that was a low blow. IF Fulham’s Odyssey takes them to the UEFA Cup, I see one of two scenarios playing out (only two because we all know they won’t spend the money wisely):

Fulham take the money, lure a star player (did someone say that Deco was available on a Free Transfer) who makes the entire team better and brings better players to the club (the David Beckham effect), and continuously improve over the next five years. Cementing themselves at the foot of the big four ala Everton. Or…
Lure a big name player then crash and burn worse than my first sexual experience. Forcing them to sell everything, and cementing themselves mid-table of League 1 or 2, I can’t remember which is lower but that doesn’t really matter. You get the point.

Let me raise my pancake laden fork in a toast: “Good luck Fulham, please don’t screw this up like the recently finished Premiership season.”

Fulham continue their Great Escape Bid

2008-05-06T20:57:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately I have a bad case of writer's block. The urge to write hasn't gone away, it's just that every time I sit down the few words that do trickle out of my fingertips sound lame or don't go anywhere.

That being said, Fulham continue to get results, similar to last season when their survival was on the line; thus keeping up the hopes of countless Americans. Fair enough that Fulham aren't always pretty to watch, the ambition of the owner could be called into question; however as a supporter of US Soccer and its players (even begrudgingly LannyCakes) I root for the Whites. So come on McBride, Dempsey, and Keller, keep Fulham in the Prem so we can enjoy at least one more season of Americans in the top flight of English Football.

Damnit Fulham

2008-04-26T19:35:00.000-05:00

So.....Fulham live to fight another day. On the one hand I, as a fan of Club America, am happy because it means that 5 Yanks might still be in the Prem next season. However, I as a writer have been planning a piece about where the 5 as well as others should/could ply their trade next season after Fulham goes down. I did not want to write this piece before it was known whether Fulham would survive for two reasons a) I didn't want to look like a jackass if Fulham survived and b) I have a habit of worrying about my teams and then bad things happen.

So...Fulham live to fight another day. Keep up the good fight Cottagers, I can always write about this in June.

Blatantly Stolen Articles: Johnson's Game will sink or swim in the EPL

2008-03-09T14:54:00.002-05:00

LONDON -- These broad arguments over whether Americans should dump steady domestic gigs to feed their soccer wanderlust and chase lavish sums overseas really can be quite silly.

Each case is different, deserving of its own shading and measurement. What's good for Soccer Willie might be all wrong for Soccer Wonka.

Take the cases of America's two most promising strikers, Jozy Altidore and Eddie Johnson.

Altidore has flirted with the notion of relocating to England, a move certain to crash headfirst into the work permit wall, at least for now. England's grinder probably isn't the ideal environment just yet for young Altidore. He'll benefit from a season of tutelage under contemplative tactician Juan Carlos Osorio. Plus, a stateside address will facilitate participation on Bob Bradley's national team and Peter Nowak's Olympic squad, which could clear the deck for a European landing a year or so hence.

That's why vague talk of moving overseas never fills in all the blanks. The "when" and the "where" are critical; variables of playing time, team style, management and individual ability to culturally assimilate all must frame the debate.

Which brings us back to Johnson.

Two years ago, rumors careened through cyberspace that Johnson definitely was headed overseas. The deal was all but done, some pundits claimed, and conventional wisdom said Johnson's progress demanded overseas seasoning.

But he still had room to grow here, mostly in mental development. Plus, he liked being close to his new baby girl, and there were niggling injury issues. It all served to scuttle his form in MLS, and a big move for the less-than-fully focused Johnson could have quickly gone sideways.

A seriously hobbled 2006 campaign merged into a confidence-restoring 2007 one, and by the middle of last year, Porto and Derby County were showing him the money. When those deals failed to gain altitude, the path was clear for Fulham to chase yet another American, establishing Craven Cottage as home to more expeditionary Yanks than a Paris youth hostel in summertime.

Johnson's first runabout in West London came and went Feb. 23, rather uneventfully. He replaced fellow American Clint Dempsey in the 76th minute of Fulham's controversial 1-0 loss to West Ham.

Deployed uncomfortably on the right, Johnson tentatively swerved through about 19 minutes and might have done better on one volley from close range. He's no long-range option in midfield, but with Fulham's English Premier League (EPL) survival in the balance, manager Roy Hodgson clearly will consider any ol' offensive gambit. Johnson started at the same spot in last week's 3-0 shellacking against Man United.

Johnson's debut with the first team didn't answer many questions about the wisdom of this mercurial talent's $1.5 million move. More instructive was a full 90 minutes a week earlier against Chelsea's reserves on a bitterly cold night at Brentford's grounds in far West London, where the Blues stage reserve matches.

Against a good, young Chelsea side that included Ben Sahar, recent Chilean signing Franco Di Santo and relative old hand Jimmy Smith, Johnson was only occasionally dangerous. And this wasn't a case in which Fulham was outclassed, with forwards relegated to chasing scraps in absence of adequate service (the match ended in a 2-all draw).

A Fulham midfield that included former MLS standout Simon Elliott didn't exactly supply a smorgasbord of crosses and through balls but did provide its share. In fact, Fulham took a 2-0 lead as Blues owner Roman Abramovich and manager Avram Grant watched from the stands.

Johnson announced himself early, creating one Fulham chance with a clever flick just beyond the penalty area. He found a channel about 10 minutes later, charging behind Chelsea's back line before seeing his shot saved from a tough angle.

From there, Johnson's night was an unmemorable mishmash of some decent touches and some that simply weren't good enough. Before about 500 people at Brentford's tiny grounds, wasting possession with needless giveaways will be excused by Fulham management, who clearly want the young American to succeed. Managers and teammates shouted encouragement and instruction at Johnson all evening, obviously keen to evaluate and assist.

But if he squanders those same balls during the crushing weight of an EPL relegation battle, fans at Craven Cottage won't be so forgiving.

Johnson admitted after drawing with Chelsea's reserves that his fitness is suffering. He did not regularly train with a side in the two months before his late January arrival. He recognizes the need to be more assertive, to make more runs and to generally increase his effect on a match.

And that's just the point. That's why this move became essential for Johnson's development.

Johnson at three-quarter speed and nominal focus still could crack open MLS contests. When fully focused and motivated, he could dominate. He makes decent runs and generally finishes with authority. But those runs will require a greater sophistication and a superfueled urgency in England. His game needs more of an edge. He must embrace the EPL mentality that nothing else in life matters past those 90 minutes.

"It's been a little tough," he said, "running back and forth to the United States, getting my work permit settled and everything. But I'm getting settled now and getting my fitness."

MLS could no longer provide the demanding and problematic environment that would push Johnson beyond his comfort zone. In London, the bumps in his game will be exposed weekly until he plows them level. Primarily, that first touch as a target forward remains quite average in high-level matches. He'll sort it out and stretch himself -- or he'll be playing a lot more reserve games in the future.

Run down to Ladbrokes betting shop and book this: It wasn't the lure of reserve matches at quaint little Brentford that prompted Johnson's big move.

Johnson is a fellow who enjoys the trappings of stardom. He likes his bling and his haute clothing. He enjoys la dolce vita. Fair enough. But he also is shrewd enough to recognize the sweet life in London will require amplified effort. No longer will those quick bursts, the spoils of good genetics, be enough to create the requisite separation from defenders. Even the young reserves from England's top flight are good enough to deal with Johnson's speed. Strikers truly earn their goals in the EPL, and so too must Johnson.

It's Johnson's time. It's up to him to exploit this chance. -Steve Davis

NS - Isn't it amusing how switching Eddie Johnson's name with Landon Donovan's and Fulham with any other English team, or Spanish or Dutch, would read exactly the same, except we all know that LannyCakes isn't in Europe.

Why Am I Here?

2008-03-02T12:45:00.002-06:00

This moving post from Who Ate All the Cupcakes touched a nerve within me.

This…is why I’m here

Currently Soccer’s reputation stands as a game for fairies, a game that you only play when you’re young, a game for parents to get their ADHD kids to run around and expend some energy before coming back home and being a little more relaxed. Since the game’s rep isn’t that great in this country we end up with athletes who choose to play soccer, not true soccer players. True soccer players like the Cruyffs, the Peles, the Maradonas, the Valderamas, the Zidanes, and to a lesser extent the Bergkamps and Ronaldinhos of the world who can’t help but create magic on the pitch. We end up with the Landon Donovans, Claudio Reynas, John Harkeses, Pablo Mastroenis, and Ricardo Clarks; all are good players (good enough to play internationally) but they don’t pull off the jaw dropping moves, runs, passes, or goals.

I coach because I want this to change; I want the reputation of this wonderful game to change in this country; I want to be a part of that grass-roots movement that will eventually culminate in the US winning the world cup (through coaching kids to be better players and develop a passion for the game and coach the next generation of players to better than they were) sometime during my life. I sound like I’m Jerry Mc-effing-Guire and I’m going to save the world tomorrow with a mission statement, but I really believe that if there are enough coaches out there who want to develop true soccer players this country can begin to develop more and more top quality players. I coach soccer because my coaches taught me a lot but not enough to be a true soccer player. I coach because I want this younger generation of players to learn to be soccer players, not just athletes; I want them to learn at 15, 14, 12 even, the things that I learned at 20. I want them to be on the pitch and figure out 2 or 3 different options in every situation, instead of always doing the same tired and jaded thing in every situation. I coach to give players someone who won’t scream at them for trying something new and failing. I’ve heard stories of high school coaches in my area who demand that their players play the ball to this place every time they get it. These same coaches also scream at these players if they stray too far out of their defined position on the pitch, even if it’s to make a play.

I play soccer because fitness, athleticism, and skill reign supreme (even though I don’t have any of these) not pure size. I play soccer because it’s the most free-flowing thought provoking game out there, players have 90 minutes with only brief interventions from coaches to figure out how to make in-roads on the opposition and win the game. It’s like chess on grass. I remember the good plays I made, the goals I scored (there aren’t too many), I remember the great runs that I’ve made that resulted in something good as well as the great runs that resulted in nothing. I’m not and never have been a good player, but that’s the great thing about this game is that even someone like me can make a good, sometimes great, play, which only makes you want to come back and try to top the last one.

I follow soccer because it is the one game where grace combines with passion and aggression. Because it is the most interesting sport in terms of competitions/leagues; in the US if you have a shitty season you get a crack at the best collegiate players, in soccer (everywhere but the US) if you have a shitty season you go down a lower league more your speed. In the US if you win the championship you’re the world Champs, in soccer if you win the championship you’re the champ of that competition, be it cup or league. In the US if you’re the best in the league you come back and beat up on the same teams, year in and year out, in soccer if you’re the best in the league, you get the chance to play against the best teams from other leagues and countries. In the US sports fans are only loud if their team does something good or they feel aggrieved by the referee, in soccer (most of the time) the fans are loud throughout the entire game. I remember watching the special games and special goals; the ’98 World Cup final, the ’96 MLS Cup final, ’05 US Mexico World Cup qualifier in Columbus, the US’s entire run in the ’02 World Cup, McBride’s over the shoulder take down and half volley against West Ham in the FA Cup, Rooney’s volley against Newcastle, Roberto Carlos’s volley into the ground and then upper 90° against Marseille in the Champion’s League, Liverpool’s Champion’s League triumph against AC Milan, and it goes on and on and on. I remember the awe that these games and goals made me feel.

This is why I'm here.

A Valentine's Day Card for LannyPoo!

2008-02-14T18:25:00.004-06:00

Couldn't have said it better myself...

2008-02-12T23:03:00.000-06:00

Check out our favorite Liverpool fan's opinion of the new USMNT jersey. I for one totally agree with her, and the other three opinions that she's linked in her post, and could not have said it better myself.

Time to dream about pancakes.

American Soccer in 2007: A Review

2008-02-04T23:52:00.000-06:00

Americans abroad, or not

Eddie Johnson finally leaves MLS, for Fulham
o The Good – Fulham continues to give talented Americans a chance to compete with the best players in the world; they now have 5 current or former US Internationals. The Rumor Mill also has Bruce Arena and his ego crossing the pond to join Fulham, along with Emeril and Snuffalupagous. USMNT fans are hopeful that the environment in a non-MLS club, where positions are not guaranteed from one day to the next will light a fire under the GAM’s ass and he’ll actually begin to realize his potential.
o The Bad – Fulham are in the relegation dog-fight, again for what seems like the 10th year - running. On paper they should be amongst the mid-table clubs, but reality has hit them with injuries on top of the consistently inconsistent form. Johnson may have been better served signing with a Championship side who is making a run for the Premiership, though signing with Fulham kind of accomplishes that goal since they’ll probably be in the Championship next summer.
o The Ugly – Having not played a meaningful game at the top level since Germany ’06 against the Czech Republic, it is the understatement of the year to say that Eddie will need to regain match fitness. This means he’ll probably make all of 5 appearances the rest of the season. He can thank MLS’s refusal to adopt a European schedule for that one.

Fredy Adu finally leaves MLS, for Benfica
o The Good – Similar to EJ, Fredy could definitely benefit from the put-up or shut-up atmosphere of European top flight soccer. The Portuguese SuperLiga will be more nurturing of Adu in his creative midfield role, his self-proclaimed best position.
o The Bad – It’s hard to find Portuguese soccer on TV so that we may watch our little savior grow. MLS loses its most marketable smile.
o The Ugly – Benfica made a coaching change 3 hours into Adu’s career and now he rarely even sees the subs bench. I hope that Fredy pulls a Clint Mathis and taps the wristwatch next time he scores as a super sub. Note: he does have 2 or 3 goals in only 100 minutes of playing time so far.

Taylor Twellman to Preston North End is rebuffed by MLS
o The Good – MLS gets to keep its leading scorer for at least another season before he pulls a Deuce and pouts his way to Europe, though by that time he may be too old.
o The Bad – Twellman could’ve probably benefitted, like Fredy and Eddie, from not having guaranteed playing time week-in and week-out.
o The Ugly – The USMNY will continue to suffer without anyone taking the step up to replace Brian McBride, especially since Bob Bradley seems hell-bent on giving TT more than enough chances to show some glimmer of hope for our striking future.

Oguchi Onyewu is still at that one club in Belgium
o The Good – He’s still getting loads of minutes at a level higher than MLS.
o The Bad – His dip in form, initiated by his loan move to Newcastle where defending next to Titus Bramble meant that there were always going to be two oversized mistake susceptible center backs on the pitch, has meant his continued exile in Belgium where he continues the status quo.
o The Ugly – He’ll still be hanging around the National Team picture but never really become the monster back we need him to be, which means others may not get their due shots.

Landon Donovan still wants to play in MLS
o The Good – MLS keeps its poster boy, and Lanny haters will continue to have something to dispise him for.
o The Bad – LannyCakes will continue with the status quo, which has seen him top the USMNT all time goal scoring charts, but others are catching up quickly in skill and panache, meaning that his role could soon be that of a Super Sub. Not a good thing for the poster boy of American soccer.
o The Ugly – There’s not much of an ugly side to this, disappointing would be more appropriate.

David Beckham comes to the US
o The Good – The profile of MLS is up, attendance at DB games is up, and other foreign stars are contemplating semi-retirement in the MLS
o The Bad – David Beckham is even more over hyped of a player than LannyCakes
o The Ugly – The circus that follows this guy around is ridiculous and a general pain in the ass for the league, though it helps sell shirts.

The US Men’s National Team

Gold Cup
o The Good – The USMNT won this past summer’s Gold Cup, edging out arch rivals Mexico 2-1. This gives the US the opportunity to compete in the 2009 mini World Cup in South Africa.
o The Bad – The USMNT won this past summer’s Gold Cup. Winning covers up a lot of flaws.
o The Ugly – The linesman’s call that negated Canada’s game tying goal in stoppage time. After Little Bradley had been sent off this would’ve almost guaranteed that Canada progressed to face Mexico in the final.

Copa America
o The Good – The USMNT participated in this past summer’s Copa America, and gained valuable experience in a hostile environment
o The Bad – The USMNT lost all three games, scoring only once (I believe)
o The Ugly – The USMNT lost all three games with their B- squad, a noble effort by those lads to be sure. However, the veterans that we really need to get experience against top-drawer teams in hostile environments skipped out on the tournament; some because their clubs wanted them back, some for other reasons. Regardless of the reason, we really needed the exact same squad that participated in the Gold Cup to play in the Copa, that group of guys is supposed to be the future of US Soccer, and they missed the biggest opportunity of 2007/2008 to grow as players.

Friendlies
o The Good – The US won FIFA recognized international friendlies against South Africa (in South Africa), Switzerland (in Switzerland), Mexico (in Phoenix, which might as well be Mexico). The US also took on mighty Brazil, and even played well enough to deserve a point from the match, maybe more. There were multiple questionable calls from the Ref, always in Brazil’s favor, but the US still managed to hang in there against the 5 times World Champions. So far in 2008 the US is scheduled to play Mexico (in Houston, which might as well be Mexico) and Spain (in Spain). While the US didn’t deserve to win any of the friendlies they played in last year, they did manage to find a way to win, which is an important characteristic in any sports team.
o The Bad – The US did not deserve to beat Mexico last February, nor Switzerland, or even South Africa. While winning is always good, we should be cruising to victory against lesser opponents, not playing down to their level.
o The Ugly – We’ve proven that we can play like absolute crap and still beat middle to lower-middle tier teams. Hopefully you, dear reader, are as fed up as I am about our little cupcake scrimmages, and yearn for the USMNT to actually play top tier teams all the time. No more college-preconference schedule-confidence boosting matches!!!

Other
o The Good – The U20s played decently in their World Cup this past summer in Canada, the highlights coming when they beat Poland 6-0 and Brazil 2-1. Against Poland, young Mr. Adu scored a hat-trick, showing all the doubters that when playing against kids that are only 2 years older than he is, he’s pretty good. Though, I didn’t see Wayne Rooney playing in the U20 World Cup when he was 18. In the Brazil game Jozy Altidore became a name on everyone’s radar by bagging the brace, though they were pretty easy finishes, and $2million transfer Fredy Adu outplayed $30million transfer Alexandre Pato.
o The Bad – Bob Bradley has given many, many guys their first call up to the National side, which is good. However, with a couple of exceptions, the newbies failed to impress or really make any impact that would lead me to believe that there’s hope for the program beyond 2010. The counter point is that I wasn’t around when the Claudios, McBrides, and the rest of the older generation were getting their first caps, so I cannot adequately compare their first contributions to those of the guys from this past year. Here’s to hoping that they get better with time and experience.
o The Ugly – In the past 13 months, we’ve played Mexico twice and scheduled two more games against them. The game last February was played in Phoenix, which is basically a suburb of Mexico City. The Gold Cup final was played in Chicago, which has more Mexicans than US Citizens. And this coming February’s contest will be held in Houston, another suburb of Mexico City. Could someone at the USSF please stop thinking in terms of dollar signs and start thinking in terms of giving our boys a true home field advantage for once? I understand the Gold Cup final location was determined before we knew who would be in it, but come on we knew. The fourth game mentioned above was set to be played in Mexico City at the treacherous Azteca Stadium, but was cancelled due to TV stations bickering. I put it to you, the people, to get some sort of movement going to have these games held in Boise, Idaho. If more Mexicans that Americans show up there, then we can pretty much draw one, and only one, conclusion: Mexican fans are psychotic, because no one wants to go to Boise.

Blatently Stolen Articles: Impact subs added to football lexicon

2007-12-08T08:52:00.000-06:00

by Norman Hubbard, ESPNSoccernet.com

As antiquated terms such as 'wing-half' disappear from footballing vocabulary, so others spring up to take their place. 'In the hole' has now become commonplace, along with 'the Makelele role' and 'support striker', while there could also be another addition with the concept of an impact substitute becomingly increasingly popular.

It is growing in currency, but it is not a novel idea as Liverpool's David Fairclough excelled in the role the best part of three decades ago. Yet as Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, the deadliest replacement of the Premier League era, heads off into retirement, his legacy is apparent on the benches of several clubs.

If Solskjaer's success was attributable, in part, to his ability to analyse a match before his arrival, it would suggest that the role of the impact substitute was best suited to footballing pensioners, lacking the legs for 90 minutes, yet capable of exerting an influence for a briefer period.

However, it now seems to be the preserve of the youthful, bursting with energy and keen to impress in their cameo. Although some matches have been changed with the introduction of high-calibre players - such as Fernando Torres against Fulham or Carlos Tevez versus Sporting Lisbon - neither qualifies as an impact substitute. They were automatic choices, briefly demoted for reasons of fitness or squad rotation, rather than specialist substitutes. Nor do Tottenham's third and fourth choice forwards count; Darren Bent and Jermain Defoe rank among the frustrated, coveting the starting spots.

In contrast, Louis Saha's role as an impact substitute may be enforced. The fragile Frenchman rarely appears capable of completing 90 minutes, so saving him for a potentially decisive finale is an idea with merit. His potential to make a difference is enhanced by his obvious differences with the strikers who start for Manchester United, Tevez and Wayne Rooney.

Saha is naturally happier leading the line and, more accustomed to running in behind opposition defences, can effect a change in the gameplan by providing another element to the United attack. It is no coincidence that both of his goals this season - against Sunderland and Chelsea - have come when he was a substitute, whereas recent starts against Bolton and Sporting Lisbon have been unprofitable.

Liverpool can recount a similar story of their impact substitute. When Ryan Babel was promoted to the starting line-up against FC Porto, he produced his most ineffective display for several weeks. However, as a replacement, he made four entertaining cameos in as many games, yielding a quartet of goals, two against Besiktas and, following an important contribution against Fulham, one apiece against Newcastle and Bolton. At £11million, Babel may appear expensive to be deemed a replacement, but as eight of his 12 Premier League appearances have come from the bench, it suggests that Rafa Benitez feels he is best utilised as such.

Arsenal's Theo Walcott is yet to produce the firm evidence, in the form of goals, but there is a school of thought that he is also at his most productive when a late entrant to the proceedings. Versatility helps, with the option of deploying the youngster on the left, the right or as a central striker according to Arsene Wenger's needs, and he could yet adopt a similar role for England. It marks a change of approach from Wenger, however; as a few years ago, his idea of an impact substitute appeared to be Gilles Grimandi, capable of playing several positions and invariably brought on to shore up the side when ahead.

Yet impact substitutes are by no means confined to the title challengers. Matt Derbyshire provides speed and zest from the bench for Blackburn where, with a strike partnership of the ability of Roque Santa Cruz and Benni McCarthy, first-team football is understandably hard to come by.

Derbyshire has a happy knack of making a telling contribution, as does Everton's Victor Anichebe. Indeed, David Moyes has voiced the opinion that the striker is at his best when brought off the bench. That certainly appears to be the case in Europe with first Metalist Kharkiv and then Nurnberg unable to deal with the replacement's bruising physicality at the end of an arduous game.

The common denominator among these five impact substitutes is pace and it is proof that even the quickest and fittest defences can tire as gaps appear in the closing stages.

Empics
Shevchenko: The world's first 'non-impact' player?

That said, the impact substitute is the logical consequence of developments such as the widely accepted theory that four strikers are a necessity, or the need that every manager expresses for strength in depth. Indeed, with bloated squads growing with each transfer window, it also makes sense to give some of the supporting cast a specialist role of their own. To redefine them from fringe players to, in effect, specialist finishers who could change a game in the closing stages, makes sense.

Perhaps that is the fate of one of Tottenham's multitude of midfielders. Tom Huddlestone, conspicuously lacking the pace of the other impact substitutes, has not been granted a start by Juande Ramos so far. Yet, brought on at half-time twice within three days against Aalborg and Birmingham, he created a goal in both games, suggesting a passing midfielder can also adapt to the pace of the game immediately and could therefore be classified as an impact substitute.

At the other end of the spectrum, however, there is a less desirable role, that of the 'non-impact substitute'. At the moment, that appears to be Andriy Shevchenko's unwanted lot as he continues not to influence proceedings at Chelsea. If 'the Shevchenko role' is added to the football lexicon, it will not be as a compliment.

Blatter Relieves Self on USA/Mexico 2018 Hopes, and Owen Delusional After Playing FIFA 08

2007-11-15T23:25:00.000-06:00

Sepp Blatter announced last week that FIFA would be putting an end to the World Cup rotation system after the 2014 tournament was awarded to the only South American nation that bid: Brazil. In a gentleman’s agreement other South American nations pulled their bids off of the table to present a more united front, even though the continent has been guaranteed the tournament for quite some time. In hindsight, though, Brazil was going to be the only country in South America to get the nod, as they’re the only nation with enough square mileage to accommodate the sheer number of people that descend on the host country in a World Cup year, as well as easier travel compared to the mountainous nations in the south and west of the continent.

Brazil is still light years behind nations on other continents when it comes to safety from crime, infrastructure, public transportation, stadium worthiness, and on and on and on. However, it will nice to see the tournament return to Latin America after almost a 30 year absence since Mexico ’86 and it will have been 36 years since the greatest sporting event in the world has graced the shores of South America. As an added bonus Brazil is the all time winningest team the World Cup has ever seen with 5 titles to their credit. Even though England claims to have invented the modern game, one could argue that the sport was truly invented on the back alleys of Brazil’s poorest streets.

I digress.

The real issue at hand is that Blatter has ended the rotation policy one cycle before North America or Australia were to get a crack at the tournament, opening the bidding to any country. I believe North America would’ve gotten it first since Australia is now part of the Asian Football Confederation, and they last hosted in 2002. While it would’ve been nice to see the cup return to the US, or Mexico even, 24 years, 32 for Mexico, after last hosting I can see why Blatter and the suits at FIFA decided to go this route.

His reasoning for ending the rotation policy was to bring back a little healthy competition to host the event. And, with all of the politics that are involved in these sorts of dealings the World Cup bidding process has been reduced to electing the Prom Queen and Student Government at a suburban high school. When it was Asia, Africa, and South America’s turns to host only one legitimate bid came forth for each continent. This could’ve been due to the fact that the countries that stepped forward to claim their World Cup were the only capable ones on each of their respective continents. But, when it was Europe’s turn Germany and England were the only real contenders to step forward, and England was bullied into submission by the rest of Europe, again, leaving only one real bid. The thing that probably saddened Mr. Blatter the most was that Europe is the most able continent, with respect to stadia public transport and fan-base, when it comes to staging a World Cup and they could only produce one real bid.

In the last week I’ve been making many trips to my epiphany toilet in hopes of devising an unbiased system that would help narrow down all of the possible bids into 3 or 4 solid contenders for hosting. Here’s my plan:

-Bidding will commence 8 years prior to the cup being bid for

-Every country will be allowed to bid, unless they’ve hosted within the last two cycles.

-Joint bids will be considered, only if there is enough stadia and accommodations, and they are limited to two nations (we can’t have 3 host nations for Pele’s sake because it would butcher the qualifying setup that works so nicely for all involved)

-Bids will be awarded points for the following criteria:

-Stadia:
- Number of Stadia that can seat 50,000 or more (+100 for each one already available, +35 for every proposal on the table)
- Quality of said Stadia (rate each on a scale of 1-100pts for Stadia already in existence, 1-50 for each proposal)
- Location/Disbursement of said Stadia – need clusters of stadia to limit travel by fans and teams (+500 for nation with best clustering)
- If Stadia aren’t already available, or upgrades are needed) and proposals are put forth in their place, rate the quality and quantity of construction crews and companies (+25 points for each, rated on a scale of 1-5) and the ability of the nation to complete major construction projects on time and budget in the past (rate on a scale of 1-100)

- Accommodations
- Number of Hotels that have 200 or more rooms for spectators to stay in (+250 for each one)
- Quality of said lodging (rate each on a scale of 1-100pts)
- Location – Hotels must be within 25 miles of a Stadium mentioned in the above criteria, or located near public transportation that would take no longer than 1 hour to get to a stadium (+250 for each)

- Transportation
- Quality of Local Public Transportation in the cities surrounding each Stadium mentioned above (points are awarded on a scale of 500 for best, 350 for second, 150 for third place amongst the bidders)
- Quality of National Transportation – Busses, Airlines, Trains (same as above)
- Number of different options available to spectators

- Safety
- Quality of Police Force in areas surrounding the Hotels and Stadiums mentioned above (same points scale as Transportation)
- Quality of Fire and Medics in areas surrounding the Hotels and Stadiums mentioned above (same as above)

- Fan Base
- Number of Professional Teams (+100 for each)
- Number of Club/Travel Leagues for people under the age of 21 (+200 for each)
- Number of Rec Leagues – Youth (+100 for each) Adult (+250 for each)
- Television ratings of Professional Soccer Matches (same scale as Transportation)
- Attendance – based on Percentage of capacity for all Professional and National Team matches (same scale as Transportation)
- Money spent on Soccer equipment and paraphernalia (same scale as Transportation)

- Pancakes – how else would we bribe forwards to score?
- Number of Perkins, Waffle Houses, IHOPs, Denny’ses, and Pancake House type restaurants in the vicinity of Stadiums mentioned above (points are awarded on a scale of 5000 for first, 3000 for second, and 1000 for third)

- Prior Hosting
- If the nation has hosted in the last 4 years, at time of bid (-1000 points)
- If the nation has hosted in the last 12 years, at time of bid (-250 points, note: can’t be docked for this and the one above; max dock of points = 1000)
- If the Federation that the nation belongs to will host in either of the two cups immediately before the one being bid for (-5000 points)
- If the Federation that the nation belongs to has hosted in the four cups immediately before the one being bid for (-1000 points, note: can’t be docked for this one and the one above; max dock of points = 5000)

After all of the bids have their points totaled up, FIFA will take the top 5 and vote, the nation/bid with the most votes wins. I believe that this foolproof and unbiased point system will help to whittle down the list of nations bidding to a reasonable number to vote on, leaving room for just a little politicking so the suits at FIFA don’t go too crazy.

Michael Owen has claimed recently that England are still a World Power when it comes to the beautiful game. I only saw the headline for this story, and was laughing so hard that I wet myself and couldn’t continue to read the whole story. So, this is an un-researched OpEd piece (nothing new to those of you who read our site regularly).

Apparently Mikey has been playing FIFA 08 for far too long while recovering from whatever nagging injury he has this year. Not to knock Seven Guys Short’s favorite Footy Sim, but they still haven’t found a way to program two qualities that can make or break a player (and nation): Craziness, example Roy Keane, and Clutch-ness, as an individual, club, and country. If these two qualities were able to be put into FIFA 08, Clint Dempsey would be a much better player in the game, and all of the individual English players’ talent and high skill ratings would be thrown out the window when they played together as a team. You see it’s not just the individual skills that a team puts together on the field to overcome their opposition, it’s also their fortitude and resolve that they utilize to overcome their own, and their club or nation’s, demons. I would like to now define World Power for you, my beloved readers:

World Power – n. a state or other political entity having the power to influence the course of world events (thank you to Dictionary.com). Put in Football terms, a nation so great that it continually qualifies for every major tournament, and always makes it to at least the Quarterfinals of said tournaments, more often than not, Semi-finals and Finals. Also, a World Power has won more than one major tournament since the beginning of time (Hell, the US has even won it’s regional championship 5 times), and must be capable of swatting away teams that are well below said World Power in FIFA’s crocked rankings.

So, stop playing Playstation and go eat bowl of fucking Life ® Mikey, and like it, because England are not a World Power anymore.

While Mikey eats his Life ®, I'm going to go dream of pancakes slathered in syrup.

The Saga Continues...

2007-11-11T16:43:00.000-06:00

Just when you were warming up for another edition of "Seven Guys Short" Radio we go and pull the rug out from underneath you. The site that has been serving up our podcasts for awhile now is heading towards total shit so we're changing podcast hosts.

Until that's all taken care of we can't upload new shows (like last weeks!) so once again there isn't a show this week. For the two or three people that listen to us on a regular basis, sit tight and we'll have this straightened out soon. For the rest of you... come back real soon.

On a related note, we're looking into spicing up the place we've got here on the Interweb. Soon we'll be taking on a new website and our own domain name and we've got a logo (or "crest" in footy-speak) in the works. One of these days we mightg actually have a podcast product to use in conjunction with all the marketing things were rolling out!

For now we'll still be cranking out written nonsense on the blog and will have the spoken word issues all cleaned up.

Stay tuned!

Former Chelsea boss hired as Beckham's babysitter

2007-11-09T09:31:00.000-06:00

No, not Jose Mourinho the recently disposed Chelsea front man, but former, former Chelsea coach Ruud Gullit has been hired to coach Major League Soccer's Los Angeles Galaxy. A two-time World Soccer Magazine World Player of the year the Dutchman has also headed Newcastle and Feyenoord, but has not coached since 1999.

Frank Yallop, LA's previous coach left Monday to reunite with his old San Jose Earthquakes side. One wonders whether or not Yallop's favorite son, Landon Donovan will follow him. No one was more pleased when he joined the Galaxy two years ago and the former Earthquake-mates linked up again. Donovan had less-than-happy remarks in response to the news. From a Yahoo! Sports news report:

Galaxy forward and Team USA captain Landon Donovan, who played in both Yallop's title-winning teams in San Jose, joined Beckham in offering his support to Yallop, and suggested that interference from above - perhaps a side-effect of Beckham's presence - had contributed to his departure.

"I like Frank as a person and I think he's a great coach," Donovan told the Times. "The unfortunate part is, he hasn't been allowed to show what a good coach he is this year.

"He's not been able to be himself. He's had people in his ear telling him what to do, and he's not been able to just get on with it. When he finally was left alone, we went on a seven-game unbeaten streak. I don't think anyone wants to work in those circumstances."

But in any case, Gullit is in and who knows if he'll be the man to change the Galaxy's fortunes. The LA side, after a horrendous first half of the 2007 season, rattled off seven Beckham-less consecutive wins and just missed the playoffs with a loss to the Chicago Fire on the last day of the season.

In my opinion LA general manager Alexi Lalas reminds me a lot of Isaih Thomas. The former U.S. National Team defender parallels nicely with the former Detroit Piston NBA star in his inability to run professional sport teams. Lalas has now been at the head of two MLS franchises and both have seen disasterous results. The Metrostars of New York (now Red Bull) were never that great of a side and the club went through coaches like underwear, but Lalas never managed to increase their fortunes despite having the nation's largest market to present on.

Then Lalas' do-nothing results in New York are rewarded with a new job with successful side Los Angeles. Where does the club head? Straight south. Steve Sampson is hired (one of Lalas' former national team coaches), who bombed on the internation coaching stage, and proceeded to suck it up in MLS. He signs Beckham, over-promotes him, forces him into action too soon, and surprise, surprise the guy gets hurt. What was supposed to be a huge deal for American soccer ends up covering everyone's face in egg.

This news of Rudd Gullit's hiring ha now turned into an extended rant on the absolute suckiness of Alexi Lalas, but I do hope that he has the coaching know-how to get the Galaxy squad working in concert between the league's two top players. Its crucial that Gullit understand that obviously Beckham and Donovan are cogs in the larger, 11-man machine that is a soccer team. Granted they are high-quality cogs, but parts of a whole none-the-less.

MLS News and Notes: Arena Axed, Yallop Yanks Self, Johnson Jinx Over?

2007-11-07T13:51:00.000-06:00

* Red Bulls New York manager/sporting director resigned earlier this week after his side failed to make it past the first round of the Major League Soccer playoffs. Arena, the former U.S. National Team coach, led the New York team to a year of mixed successes. The Red Bulls, who have often been the MLS whipping-boys, finished with a winning record behind the goal-scoring exploits of DP Juan Pablo Angel (a MLS MVP candidate).

After the 2006 World Cup I couldn't have given two shits about Arena. In fact I was kinda hoping he would get hit by a bus, but he seemed to find a decent fit in New York with former Nats captain Claudio Reyna on his roster. It was interesting that Arena departed New York with a resignation, which means that maybe the coach has something else lined up. Maybe he's going to give the women's team a shot? Editor's Note: This is the second completely made-up U.S. Nat coaching rumor to appear on this blog.

* Eddie Johnson, one of America's most over-rated soccer players was awarded Major League Soccer's "Comback Player of the Year" award. EJ had 15 goals in MLS this season, including the league only back-to-back games where a player scored a hat trick.

Too bad he can't play like this for the Nats. After a lightning start for Johnson on the U.S. team, he can't seem to get minutes or when he does he's mostly ineffective and a waste of space. That goes for a lot of the attacking options for the Nats right now too. It looks like MLS awarded Eddie for doing something that he should have been doing all along. This how I would imagine the award ceremony going:

MLS Guy: And the award for MLS comeback player of the year award goes to... Eddie Johnson of the Kansas City Wizards.

Audience: Groan!

MLS Guy: Hey, everybody! Listen, now I know that Eddie had a rough couple of years, but look he scored a whole bunch of goals this season after sucking complete ass last year. I think its completely fair that MLS reward a player for doing exactly what he's grossly overpaid to do.

EJ: Ummm... I'd like to thank my mom for this.

Audience: Booooooo!

* Frank Yallop, David Beckham's wet nurse/coach of the Los Angeles Galaxy, also quit this week prefering a team that doesn't have a single player on it to one with the league's two most recognizable players. Yallop will return to coach the resurrected San Jose Earthquakes, which will join MLS as another expansion team and exists only on paper as of right now.

* Preki, the head coach of Chivas USA, was named MLS "coach of the year." Nothing much to say here, other than.. "congrats." First year coach propells the team to taking the season derby series against LA rivals Galaxy, gets out of the Western Conference basement, and loses narrowly to KC in the playoffs. It'll be interesting to see if Preki and co can avoid a sophomore slump.

"Seven Guys Short" Radio for November 4th, 2007

2007-11-04T21:00:00.000-06:00

The "two headed dragon with a goiter" known as Max, Jon, and Dan were at it again in "majestic and walkable" Shorewood, WI for another installment of "Seven Guys Short" Radio LIVE at the Brit Inn (4473 North Oakland Avenue). Listen to our latest musings at our podcast page (UPDATE: Working on getting the show uploaded... some problems with our server) and feel free to add your two cents in the comments section. We're always looking for positive and/or constructive feedback to improve our lil' baby we've got here.

Show #17

Song: LCD Soundsystem, "Daft Punk is Playing at My House"

Top Stories (3rd Minute)
- Oh Meola, how far you've fallen!
- Tottenham tells Jol "you've got to go"
- Manchester United vs. Arsenal: Stalemate at the top of the table
- FIFA Sticks to to North America in World Cup rotation
- Feast vs. Famine: USL and MLS Differ on player pay

Domestic Topics (4th Minute)
- Former U.S. National Team starting goalkeeper Tony Meola in Milwaukee "dodging beers" at "the Cell" for Major Indoor Soccer League's Jersey Ironmen
- Chicago Fire and Cuauhtemoc Blanco suprise in the MLS playoffs
- MLS development program pay makes it difficult for league to capture/retain top domestic talent

*Brit Inn Ad with bartender and Manchester United fan, Tink

Song: Kings of Leon, "Molly's Chambers"

England Topics (28th Minute)
- Manchester United and Arsenal super-clash recap
- Tottenham throws Martin Jol under the bus ("at halftime"!)
- Liverpool draw, disappoint against Blackburn (Is Dirk Kuyt the wrong man up top for Rafa Benitez?)

Song: Artic Monkeys, "Still Take You Home"

Around the World in... However long it takes (46th Minute)
- FIFA World Cup rotation policy goes out the window (Will the United States see another Cup soon?)
- Jon and Max salivate over a Klaas-Jan Huntelaar move to ManU
- Completed in Seven Minutes

... Of The Week (53rd Minute)
- Player: Frank Lampard, Chelsea and Cecs Fabregas, Arsenal
- Manager: Avram Grant, Chelsea
- Team: Chicago Fire, MLS

Song: Paul Oakenfold, "Beautiful Goal"

* Stoppage Time (61st Minute)

Blatently Stolen Articles: Tearing Apart the Criticism

2007-11-04T15:44:00.000-06:00

by Edgar Zuniga , Yanks Abroad

Wait. Is this the same Freddy Adu that scored only one goal in 11 games for Real Salt Lake earlier this year? Adu is tearing it up with Benfica and he just keeps getting better and better with each coming week.

Thanks to the MLS hype machine, Adu's career has always been followed with keen interest and his performances have been dissected under a microscope.

Adu's always had his doubters, who questioned everything from his age to his commitment, and there were some cynical enough to proclaim that Adu's young career amounted to failed expectations and just a bunch of hype.

Some of the demands from these people were outrageous. If you listened to them, they'd have you thinking that Adu was supposed to be the next Pelé (who made his professional debut at 15).

Honestly, Adu never lived up to the expectations and hype in MLS, and equally as honestly, it was very unfair to load so much pressure on his young shoulders and expect him to carry the league. Then again, what was he doing in MLS? Sure, MLS may not be a top-flight international league (not quite there…yet), but if he was playing with the big boys, it must've been for a good reason.

Now that Adu is doing well with Benfica I'm wondering if he was always that good: Was MLS holding him back? Or did it take him this long to come into his own?

While in MLS, Adu went through ups and downs. There were flashes of brilliance and questionable decisions, and through it all it was very easy to forget how young Adu really was.

However, now that he is 18, we can see that Adu has matured very well. To anyone that ever doubted his potential, Adu is not only tearing apart the criticisms, he's etching a completely new identity for himself with Benfica, and has quickly earned the respect of new coach Jose Antonio Camacho, whose trust in Adu has paid dividends.

In case you missed it, Adu's first goal with Benfica came in dramatic fashion - on a penalty kick in the 92nd minute of a League Cup game against Estrela da Amadora. Not only did Adu score the tying goal in the dying seconds of the game, Benfica eventually won the game on penalty kicks - including yet another by Adu.

Camacho's confidence in Adu seems to parallel former coach Fernando Santos's admiration, and now Benfica's staff has pointed out that Adu's skills and attitude in training will lead to him becoming an integral part of his team.

So, what about the US National Team? Adu was amazing with the Under-20 squad earlier this year, and his performance at the U-20 World Cup in Canada was the first indication that he was on the verge of something great.

Does this mean that Adu will finally earn a full-international start in an official, FIFA-sanctioned game? Why has it taken so long?

It's not like the US National Team is bursting at the seams with quality attackers, and Adu was impressive in the USA's win over Switzerland, almost scoring a tremendous goal on a breakaway.

If Bob Bradley has any sense, then all that's about to change…

We are bearing witness to the coming of age of Adu and New York's Jozy Altidore, and the burgeoning talents of Clint Dempsey and DaMarcus Beasley, who are all crafty, quick and unafraid to bear down on defenders one-on-one.

However, of all these, it is Adu who is really exciting to watch. Deuce and Beasley are a bit older, and Altidore just ended his second season in MLS, but Adu is already putting up impressive results in his first few months with Benfica in a very competitive league.

Now, here's the best part...Adu is only 18 and he's still learning.

In fact, if you look down the road a bit and you see Adu lining up alongside Altidore, Deuce and Beasley, even the most cynical US Soccer fan probably has a slight grin creeping up on them.

What it all boils down to is that US Soccer could actually field a serious contender for the World Cup in the next two to three World Cups.

Don't laugh.

We will take what we can from 2002, learn from the tactical debacle of 2006 and make sure that the next generation of US players are instilled with the confidence to stare down the world's best and finally take US Soccer to next level.

It's time to give Adu...well, his due. He has weathered all the criticism and cynicism and a bunch of other-isms, and looks to become one of the cornerstones of our National Team.

Nike gets one back for the good ol' US of A

2007-11-01T06:32:00.000-05:00

My apologies dear readers, as it has been a while since I have put pen to paper for our blog. I promise that will change in the near future.

In an earlier post Dan spoke of a double blow to the US on the soccer landscape; Kasey Keller's career revival at Fulham taking a possible four-month set back, and Greg Ryan unceremoniously shown the door after a debacle of a World Cup. Since then FIFA has voted against continuing their World Cup Rotation policy, meaning that the US and Mexico are not only engaging in a bidding war amongst themselves, but also the like of England, Russia, Australia, and on an on. Add to that the Premier League all but poo-pooing any chance of a regular season fixture being played across the pond in the US, due to integrity of competition and other such nonsense.

In the midst of all of this, Nike pulled one back for the good guys. In that grandest of American Business traditions, Nike opted to purchase a rival competitor instead of beating them straight-up. In a move estimated at $528 million dollars, Nike has bought out British soccer outfitters Umbro. While this may make some of England and Ireland's fans happy, since Umbro has made a travashamockery of their kits this past qualifying cycle, but does it do anything for the American fan? Discuss amongst yourselves and leave us some comments.

I'll be back later in the week to discuss the whole World Cup Rotation issue.

Enjoy your pancakes

"Seven Guys Short" Radio for October 28, 2007

2007-10-29T10:14:00.000-05:00

Jon and Max had a late soccer game and Dan was just coming back from New York City so this week's episode of "Seven Guys Short" Radio was put on hold. Next Sunday will have all the soccer news and views you'll need right here.

Remember we'll be at the Brit Inn in Shorewood, WI at 4pm each Sunday recording the show. Drop on down and join us for a pint and chances are you'll be able to make a guest appearance to share your own knowledge of the game.

Major League Soccer Top Goals

2007-10-23T16:15:00.000-05:00

Hey remember when we were going to do all that great coverage of MLS and our closest-club-geographically-so-I-guess-I-should-be-a-fan-of-it team, the Chicago Fire... yeah me neither. Once the Beckham train de-railed, railed, then de-railed again and add in the fact that I played rec volleyball on Thursdays so I missed "Soccer Night in America" on ESPN, plus they ran that up against The Office and 30 Rock on NBC.. I pretty much had given up on the domestic game.

I feel pretty bad about that, but in my defense... actually there isn't much excuse. BUT I will try to make it up by dropping the season's (and by season I mean regular season not playoffs which is MLS's 2nd season) best goals.

Maybe I'll catch one of those post-season game-thingys sometime soon... these guys look halfway decent.

Ouch, Double Ouch for Americans Home and Abroad

2007-10-23T07:57:00.000-05:00

Poor Kasey Keller. Just four starts into his EPL homecoming and he's out till past Christmas. From foxsoccer.com:

Fulham goalkeeper Kasey Keller admits he is feeling "devastated" after being told his arm injury may keep him out until after Christmas.

Keller picked up the problem in training prior to the weekend's 0-0 draw with Derby County and may now require surgery.
Keller has made four appearances for the Cottagers since his free-transfer move over the summer and the USA veteran has expressed his dismay at the setback.

"I feel absolutely destroyed, devastated," said Keller in the Daily Mirror.

"It's hugely disappointing because things were going so well and then this comes along and now I have to start all over again.

"I just wanted to make my name here and I was doing that until I suffered this cruel injury."

Poor Nick, too. Just when he thought, maybe... just maybe Fulham would have a decent net-mindered to protect that sorry defense. Oh well... here's to another post-X-mas relegation fight for the Cottagers!

Greg Ryan Canned

The other big news of the day for Americans, and this time its state-side, is the firing of Womens National Team coach Greg Ryan. He'll be best remembered for benching starting goalkeeper Hope Solo in favor of aging legend Brianna Scurry for the team's semi-final against Brazil in this year's World Cup. I'm one to believe that the squad was hopelessly unprepared for that game against Marta and company, so give Scurry a break, but it is that preparation, that in hindsight probably cost Ryan his job.

"The Greatest Team You Never Heard Of" was Nike's marketing campaign in the run up to China 2007, but "The Greatest Team You Won't Remember Because They Blew It Big Time" might be a better (albeit less snappy) title for the squad. The U.S. team suffered from the high expectations game that so many of the talented men's squads suffer from when they fail in the World Cup. Argentina, Italy, Portugal, ENGLAND, etc come home to anger when they come short of "World Champions" and the coach is usually the first head to come rolling off the chopping block. Add 'keeper drama to it all and the reasons becoming increasingly easy to assemble when you want to force and talented, but disappointing coach from his or her job.

U.S. defender Cat Whitehill will you please back up my arguement with a timely quote? Thanks.

"With the standards our team has set, if you don't win, it's hard to keep your job," Whitehill said Monday, a day after players and Ryan were informed of the move. "Nothing against the way Greg Ryan coached, but we didn't play as well as we should have."

Care to add anything U.S. Soccer President Sunil Gulati?

"I'm not going to point to any one factor (bad World Cup preparation) or one individual decision (bad World Cup preparation). Obviously, coaches' decisions impact games (the benching of Hope Solo). All that was weighed in (I canned his ass)."

Foxsoccer.com added, "Gulati said he wants a candidate who is familiar with American soccer, who has experience coaching in international events."

Can I be the first person to nominate Jurgen Klinsmann?

"Seven Guys Short" Radio for Sunday, October 21st

2007-10-21T20:38:00.000-05:00

We're back with organization and sponsorship. Join Jon, Max, and Dan as they work their way through this week's most pressing footie stories. Insight, analysis, and bit of humor from "Seven Guys Short" Radio. Recorded at the Brit Inn in Shorewood, WI.

Download this week's episode at our podcast page.

Hosts: Dan "Max" Makal and Jon Bisswurm with MC Dan Wiersema

Today’s Starting Lineup

Song: Phish, “Back on the Train”

* Intro
- Welcome Back
- Brit Inn promo
- Today's Agenda Preview

Song: Gnarles Barkley, “Crazy”

* USA v. Swiss Insight from Jon

* English Premier League (@13 minute mark)
- Chelsea and the Frog Prince coach, Avram Grant
- Chelsea/Arsenal Comparisons (20 min)
- B+ Manchester United squad kills Rick Moranis’ Aston Villa

* Promo for the BRIT INN with Sunday bartender Christine

* England Flounders while Scotland Soars
- Mourinho for England?

* Around the World in… However Long It Takes) (@ 52 min mark)
- German Bundasliga
- Dutch Erindivisie

Song: Jet

* "Blank" of the Week
- Player: Wayne Rooney, Manchester United
- Manager: Gus Hiddink, Russian National Team
- Team: Chivas USA, Major League Soccer

* Sign Off

Lost in Cyberspace

2007-10-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

Hello faithful readers or random passersby. Our blog has been sitting dorment for a bit too long. Lack the usual witty and interesting insight that we've come to be know for "Seven Guys Short" will soon be hitting you for multiple angles!

Coming soon we're expanding our "Seven Guys Short" Radio broadcasts. No only will we provide fascinating tidbits on the blog we'll be hitting the web up via soundwaves. The two will work hand-in-hand to provide the better half of footie insight that you need to have in this crazy, messed-up sport world.

Soon we will be broadcasting live on location, each week from the Brit Inn, in Shorewood, WI (4473 N. Oakland Ave).

This is a big step for us modest people at "Seven Guys Short" and we hope that the words that we bring audio-wise will be just as interesting as the written ones that also fly across this page.

Life has been busy for us all here (I recently began full-time teaching) and we've fallen on the wayside when it comes to productive blogging, but feat not readers (occasional and otherwise), we've got some tricks up our sleeves.

Stay tuned for more content from "Seven Guys Short" and stop by the Brit Inn (review here) Sundays for LIVE "Seven Guys Short" Radio with Jon, Max, and I.

All Things USA

2007-09-16T21:04:00.000-05:00

Well dear readers it has been almost a week since the guys of Seven Guys Short descended upon the Windy City to partake in the USA Brazil, Clash of Champions. Note: I say Clash of Champions with the utmost sarcasm.

Having had a week to digest, and read the opinion of others, others who had the luxury of press box seats or tv replays, I am now ready to commit my thoughts to the blogosphere. I found it interesting the variety of difference in opinions that exist out there. Rangning from Ives Galarcep’s everything is all sunshine, kittens, and puppies take, to Frank Dell’Apa and Jen Chang’s pragmatic view of the proceedings, to fellow bloggers claiming that the sky is truly falling.

I’m of the opinion that the US did well to hang in there with Brazil, but the question remains whether we truly “played” well, or did we just do well on this day with this mission. The highlights for me personally were Michael Bradley’s destroyer like performance in the midfield (before the penalty call), Deuce’s ability to finish a half chance that most of our team would’ve been content to just make contact with, horrible officiating, and Heath Pearce’s performance. Some of my disappointments from the game were Landon Donovan and DaMarcus Beasley’s failure to impose themselves on the game, Oguchi Oneywu’s continued struggles with more stylish attackers, Bob Bradley’s failure to experiment with the defense at all, and Ronaldinho’s crybaby tactics.

First the positives:
Ø Michael Bradley did extremely well to break up multiple Brazilian attacks. If he continues to perform at this level Heerenveen could well be collecting some decent money from a larger European team next summer. Also, my hopes will be realized that Pablo Mastroeni will become a fringe player for the national team. Bradley’s skill set is just so much more versatile that Pablo’s; however he does need to stop with the Pablo-esque stupid fouls, or he will continually put his team in bad situations, like he did on Sunday with that penalty.
Ø Deuce appears to be in quite the rich vein of form this fall, scoring four games and running for both club and country (including the 1-1 draw with Wigan on 9/15). I was probably the only person in Sam’s Army that was calling for Deuce to be subbed out instead of Wolff. My reasoning was that Deuce appeared to be dogging it on a couple of through balls that he should’ve been able to get to. However, humble pie tasted pretty sweet last Sunday as Deuce was left in and minutes later he finished his half-chance to knot the game at 2. The reason why this finish makes my positive list is that it has been a while since we’ve seen the clinical and lethal finishing that Deuce showed on that play. The US has long been guilty of not finishing clear-cut (see: how did you not score there) chances, let alone half-chances like this one. Cherundolo’s pass was not precision as someone wrote in their game recap. It was miss-hit, lacking pace, and bouncing, yet Deuce buried it as if it were a tap-in on the back post. Now all we need is a true striker to finish those kinds of chances and we’ll be in business. For your recent finishing displays, you sir, receive a pancake. Just a plain one though, more on this later.
Ø Heath Pearce put in a strong showing against the Brazilians, and by strong showing I mean he did enough to merit another look or two. Which means that hopefully we won’t have to see Jonathan Bornstein being handed the spot automatically. I’m not hating on Bornstein. I just want some competition for places in our National Team, no one should be a lock; I can make exceptions for goalkeepers and the squad captain, so long as his name isn’t Donovan.
Ø The last positive that I took away from this game was the horrible officiating. Here’s why. If the Wolff penalty had been given, the game may have ended up completely differently. I’m not saying that the US would’ve won, but who knows. Also, until that point the US was hanging in there and slugging it out with the top team in the world. I’m not saying that the officiating lost the game for us, lord knows that the 4 times Timmy picked the ball out of the back of the net accomplished that. The point that I want to make is this: we were close, and had one or two calls gone our way, we may have actually beaten the best of the best. On the flip side of this is that we need to realize that we may need to be better than the other teams we play, AND the officials in order to get the win, and we should just start mentally preparing ourselves for this because it’s going to be happening, a lot.

Now the things that disappointed me about the Clash:
Ø Landon Donovan and DaMarcus Beasley both played alright, but they are our stars and stars need to bring more than alright. These two were never going to impose themselves on the Brazilians for 90 minutes, but they didn’t impose themselves at all during the game. Not once. If we are to stand any chance in the 2010 world cup, we need these two to step their games up to the point that they can dominate for periods of time and keep defenses on the back foot. This will then trickle down to younger players in our National Team Pool, and we may actually be playing soccer by the time 2010 roles around.
Ø The form that Oguchi Onyewu is in, currently and has been for at least the last two years, suggests that he should only be used when the US is going up against a team with a physical beast of a forward. I suggested beforehand that Demerit be paired with the big guy, but that was before I saw ‘Los wearing the armband. If Bocanegra is going to be the captain long term then I think Bradley has to start finding a new partner in the center of the defense for him, and Gooch is not that man right now. While Gooch did/does need to play against better strikers to get better, I think he could’ve gotten 30 minutes off the bench and still reaped benefits from this game. While defensive partners need to cover for each other, Gooch seems to be needing his partner to cover his ass more and more. Therefore he needs to sit and allow some other guys to get their shot.
Ø Bob Bradley failed to experiment enough with the defense. I realize that we needed to make a statement to the world but we also need to let some guys cut their teeth at the top level. My fiancée mentioned to me that Bradley isn’t going to make a defensive substitution only down 3-2, instead he would and should make a positive substitution. While I agree with that sentiment, if the game means something more than pride, but this game was meaningless and the younger guys should’ve gotten some PT.
Ø Ronaldinho is arguably the World’s best player, though Kaka is catching up to him quite quickly. After watching some replays/half-ass attempts at highlights, Ronaldinho didn’t play as bad as I first suspected. He is still the king when it comes to sending the through ball that carves a defense like a Thanksgiving turkey. However he appeared to be a little sluggish on the ball when it came to penetrating the defense with the ball at his feet. This could’ve been due to Bradley’s destroyer performance, but methinks he should’ve been able to do a little more than he showed. The biggest disappointment is that he seemed to care more about complaining to the ref instead of taking it to the US defense. If there’s one thing that soccer doesn’t need any more of it’s crybabies and complainers especially from one of it’s most recognizable faces.

On to the US Women: I forgot to record the Sweden game, so all I can say about that game is that it was great to see the US recover from their shaky start to the Cup against the North Koreans, and take it to one of their biggest rivals. However, it was disappointing to see the US resort to kick-ball tactics against the Koreans expecting to just beat them with pure athleticism. This is the fundamental problem with the sport in this country; we are the best athletes in the world, hands down. But, we cannot, cannot beat the entire world at the world’s game with pure athleticism alone. As I’ve said before I didn’t see the Sweden game, so I can’t say whether or not we tried to beat them with athleticism or not.. But, I did see Abbey Wambach’s half-volley for the second goal of the match and her third of the tournament, all of this with a numbed up toe, and 11 stitches in her head from the first game. For that, Ms. Wambach, you get a stack of pancakes with extra butter and syrup.

All I have to say is that I want an Abbey Wambach jersey, which is the highest compliment any fan can pay to a player. She is the heart and soul of this US team the same way McBride was the heart and soul of the 2006 World Cup team. It’s too bad that the US is the only nation where the Women’s jersey is different than the Men’s, otherwise my McBride jersey could double as a Wambach jersey. Good luck to the US ladies, we will be watching and rooting for you.

Now it's time fore me to get some pancakes, I'm out.

Blast From the Past

2007-09-16T15:44:00.000-05:00

Hello Again Readers,

A double whammy by Jon today you ask? You got it! I have dug into the vault on my computer to the articles that I wrote as an intern with The Soccer Source magazine. The magazine no longer exists, but the stories do....Enjoy

Cheers,

Jon

UNITED STATES GETS A TASTE OF GAME’S FINEST
BY: JON BISSWURM

When it comes down to seeing professional sports of any kind, world-class talent has a way of entertaining even the most casual of fans. That’s exactly what happened Saturday July 16, when the best of the best in professional, international soccer went head-to-head at Chicago’s Soldier Field. Spain’s Real Madrid, loaded with super stars from all over the world, took on Mexico’s perennial powerhouse Chivas Guadalajara, which holds 10 Mexican league championships. With the talent that both of these teams possess, the game was a spectacular display of soccer prowess.

Opportunity of a Lifetime

Real Madrid’s roster is packed full of players that are household names in any other country, but could go unnoticed walking down a city street in the United States. However, a few minutes into the game even a shirttail fan could tell they were witnessing a match-up of elite talent. Real Madrid is without a doubt has the greatest depth of any soccer club in the world and many of its star players were on hand for this event. Spanish forward Raul Gonzalez was the first player with super-star status to sign with the club in the early 90’s. Following the signing of Raul was Brazil’s speedy defender Roberto Carlos, in addition to two-time World Player of the Year from France Zinedine Zidane. Rounding out the roster are Brazil’s lethal striker Ronaldo, England’s right-footed scoring machine, Michael Owen, and finally by far the world’s most popular midfielder and pop-culture icon, England’s David Beckham.

With the firepower that Real Madrid has, it is hard for them not to go into any game without expecting to win. Chivas, on the other hand, did not lie down and take a beating from the Spanish powerhouse. In a packed Soldier Field with 54,432 charged up fans, both teams went right after each other. One might expect a friendly match such as this to be soft, but Saturday’s game action was present for all 90 minutes. Each tackle was contested with fierce aggression, and scoring opportunities presented themselves often. Although there were many offensive opportunities, actual goals did not come until 15 minutes left in the game.

The first goal surprisingly came from Chivas, the obvious underdog, by way of forward Francisco Palencia in the 73rd minute. Palencia broke free from his defender and placed home the rebound off a shot by teammate Jhonny Garcia. As soon as Chivas notched the first goal of the game, the predominantly Mexican crowd went absolutely fanatic. The momentum had shifted in favor of Chivas, but just as quickly as they gained it Real Madrid took it back. Just three minutes after the only Chivas goal, Madrid made a definitive statement when Alvaro Mejia rifled home a bullet of a shot with the assist coming from David Beckham in the form of a well-placed free kick. At this point, Madrid was just warming up; two more goals came in the 88th and 94th minutes of the traditionally 90-minute game (there were five minutes of injury time added on to the match). The first was scored by Jose Maria Gutierrez (Guti), with the assist going to Roberto Saldado. Saldado then capitalized on the third and final goal in extra time on a nice feed from a well-placed cross by Raul Bravo.

Factoring in the Fans

Your average local soccer game may not necessarily be exciting for someone who is not an avid soccer fan. However, Saturday’s game was not just a soccer match, it was an event of international proportions. As people drove through the parking structure and emerged to the top level they came upon roughly a thousand people singing, dancing, kicking soccer balls back and forth, and of course tailgating prior to the event. Fathers brought their sons and daughters, husbands brought their wives, and soccer mom’s where in their full glory.

At the stadium during the game the same singing and dancing that went on in the parking lots also went on in the stands. There were many fans that made the trip to Chicago across multiple state lines just to support Chivas, while others went simply to experience the awe of tens of thousands of fans exhibiting energy rarely found at American sporting events. The chanting that is usually apparent in Europe or South American made its way to Chicago rivaling the most enthusiastic of Chicago Bear fan turnouts. There is nothing that raises the hair on the back of a person’s neck like a stadium of fans singing in unison to support the team they love.

Reinforcing Respect of the Game

A game that represents such talent and excitement does not need to have the scoring that the average American football fan craves. At 3-1, this game was every bit as exciting as a 100-99 game would have been. Standing at field-level, one could see that these players still use the simplest tactics and skills that every young player learns.

When England’s David Beckham was not in the action serving a slicing ball 45 yards to the foot of an attacking forward, he was carefully creating space for himself by reading the defense four to five plays ahead of time. This type of play is not seen in baseball or American football, and cuts to the core of what excites a true soccer fan.

David Marshfield of Minneapolis, Minnesota brought 11-year-old Brian to the game on Saturday, and explained the importance of his son seeing a player like Beckham operate on the soccer field.

“It is not every day that my son can see simple tactics that his youth coaches stress actually being executed by the best players in the world,” he said.

Seeing Brian stand up out of his seat every time the ball would go to Beckham was exactly the type of response that coaches and parents hope to see when a young player finally sees all the pieces of the puzzle in place during a solid run down the field.

The reality of the day was that this might have been the first and quite possibly the last chance many fans such as young Brian would have to see world-class, international talent within close proximity of their suburban neighborhood, said Marshfield. Real Madrid midfielder Zinedin Zidane, Brazilians Robert Carlos and Ronaldo, Portuguese midfielder Figo, and England’s David Beckham are reaching the peaks of their professional playing careers, and could be at the end of their reigns before long. Just having the chance to see them separately is a feat but seeing them play together is truly a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

The fans showed their gratitude for such a rare experience in the U.S. with a five-minute standing ovation for each team at the end of the match. Forward Michael Owen hopes such an experience will become more commonplace for U.S. soccer fans. Owen pinpointed the 1994 World Cup as the critical beginning of a growing base of professional soccer in the U.S.

“The game here is not at the level it is in Europe or South America, but because of the 1994 Cup, and the creation of the MLS (Major League Soccer), the United States will one day draw the talent that the top leagues in Europe draw,” he said.

David Beckham also praised the progression of soccer in the U.S. “The fans here are absolutely spectacular; the facilities are possible some of the best that I have played in since becoming a professional, and each city that we play in has nothing but warm welcomes for us.”

Beckham also addressed the possibility that he would one day play professionally in the MLS – a dream come true for many die-hard U.S. soccer fans. “I love the United States, my family loves the United States, and I would not rule out me ending my career as a staple in Major League Soccer.”

When Real Madrid planned to go on a world tour, it was probably one of the best jump-starts for U.S. soccer, giving fans of all ages the chance to witness the best the sport has to offer on a global scale. It is not the last the States will see of Real Madrid. U.S. fan also will get to witness a new milestone for the country’s sport. This tour marks the first time that a member of Major League Soccer would play against a former Champion’s League titleholder when Real Madrid takes on the LA Galaxy later this week.

High-class soccer is something that is on the upswing in the U.S., and it is only a matter of time until a fan can turn on the television, hop in the car, or plan a family vacation to a Major League Soccer match of similar status to Saturday’s game. As proven by the turnout that day, the continued enthusiasm and support of soccer fans in the U.S. will fuel the rise of a sport on par with the best the international circuit has to offer.

Sepp finally gets his wish.

2007-09-11T17:52:00.000-05:00

It appears that Sepp Blatter has finally gotten his sexist wish and the Women's World Cup will be played in the skimpiest uniforms ever this year (see below).

Oh wait, that's not really the Women's World Cup. It's one of the worst attempts to get models to look like they're playing soccer, though the dive for the PK would've been top-drawer material in the Italian league.

Anyways, time for some pancakes and some real women playing the game, albeit tape delayed.

My two cents on the US Roster: confessions of a scatterbrain

2007-09-06T18:34:00.000-05:00

Looking over Bradley’s choices for the monster match-up against Brazil this Sunday raised my eyebrows a few times. Who is Davy Arnaud and why haven’t we heard his name before? Why is Josh Wolff being brought back into the fold? Will Bob Bradley do the smart thing and give some of the younger more inexperienced guys a run out in the second half, or will he his first team hog all of the PT?

Bob Bradley has started his campaign as USMNT boss perfectly (no, we have not won every game); giving something like 45 players a look in friendlies and competitive matches so far in 2007. However, his selections for this upcoming clash of Goliath and well… a Special Olympian (comparatively), reek of favoritism a lack of foresight for the future World Cup Qualifying campaign. The only inclusions that raise eyebrows and possibly hopes for the future are Davy Arnaud and Chris Seitz. Some of the inclusions of course raise eyebrows in a negative way; for instance Pablo Mastroeni (is he really the answer as a holding midfielder?), Josh Wolff, and Steve Cherundolo.

Pablo is undoubtedly one of those players that will always give everything in the tank for the cause, unfortunately sometimes his brand of grit results in unnecessary cards and fouls. Michael Bradley has obviously been guilty of this as well, but he’s young enough to turn it around, and become a more controlled destroyer. It’s refreshing to see players like Pablo and Frankie Hejduk teaching the younger guys what it means to take pride in wearing the shirt, but they both have the tackling skills of twelve year olds which has come back to bite the US in the ass. Also is Pablo really going to be a factor in the qualifying cycle for South Africa? I certainly can’t see him playing in the tournament when he’ll be the ripe old age of 34. So, Bob, if you’re giving him a swan song, let the fans know so that we can properly appreciate what he’s given to our cause, if not why include him in the roster? Why not bring someone else into the fold to get them acquainted with the Senior National team? I can think of three easy replacements, from the U-20 World Cup, right off the top of my head: Adu, Szetela, and Zizzo. Granted, these players may not have been released by their clubs, oh wait they have to release them as this is a FIFA sanctioned date. I await your excuses. (Note: at the time of writing Pablo was still in the squad, he has since been replaced by Kerry Zavagnin, due to illness)

While Josh Wolff attempts to fill the 9.5 shirt (playing the role of a speedy striker combined with the playmaker’s vision), his return in the Red, White, and Blue has not been that impressive. I’m not one to harp on forwards scoring goals, as long as they’re being dangerous and creating chances for themselves and others, but this guy’s been around since the beginning of the Bruce Arena era, and he failed to stake a claim to being McNugget’s partner in crime, what makes you think this time will be different? Again he is another player who will be over 32 when South Africa rolls around, shouldn’t we be testing out some fresh blood in that position? Also, SGS’s favorite player, LannyCakes, has been wearing the 9.5 shirt for quite some time, and he does it better than Wolff, usually. As far as Steve Cherundolo goes, I’m not against older, wiser, speedy yet diminuitive full backs, but this picture says it all: That’s Stevie getting toasted by Eddie Johnson, what’s going to happen when Kaká, Robinho, or Ronaldinho come waltzing towards him?

Just messin’ with ya Steve. Cherundolo is a good option at full-back, but we know what he’s capable of, we’ve seen him own the right-back slot for a good six years now. I think it’s time Frankie Simek gets a nice long look, Spector can play out there too. These two are the future of the

right-back position and therefore should get to cut their teeth against the best of the best (maybe we could send them to Top Gun and GoldenBalls best pal TomKat could teach them a thing or two).

As for the good eyebrow raises, I haven’t been following MLS this season so I’m not sure what Arnaud and Seitz are capable of, but they must be doing something right.

The real interesting part about this Sunday will be who sees the field and in what capacity. We all know what DeMerit, Onyewu, and Bocanegra are capable of, and they could all use the skills and positioning test that the Brazilians will give them. So who should get the nod? I think Gooch and DeMerit should get the start. ‘Los is currently our number one choice at center-back, so I think we should pair DeMerit and Onyewu to see how the work together and what they’re really made of. Hopefully the lack of another true left back means that Heath Pearce will be able to showcase the talent he has such confidence in, because frankly, his showing in the Copa America was one of the worst. He must watch over his back because Spector can easily slide into the left-back role.

Fortunately or Unfortunately our midfield appears to pick itself, though I personally wish it wouldn’t. Beasley, and Dempsey appear to be on fire for their respective clubs, therefore they are all but automatic selections. Brazil’s speed necessitates that our outside midfielders be able to match them stride for stride, which means that Bobby Convey could get the start on the left, with DaBease moving over to the right side. This forces Deuce to play as a striker or the attacking midfielder in a diamond formation. I’m fine with this but I doubt LannyCakes will be. With Pablo’s kamikaze style and his ever advancing age (Zavagnin’s lack of national team experience in the last year or so, and his ever advancing age), Bradley is a lock for the start in the holding role. Young Bradley and Feilhaber paired up quite nicely in the Gold Cup, and look to be the midfield of the future, therefore this pairing should not be overlooked. But this pairing could possibly squeeze out Deuce, and that would be a shame given his current form.

LannyCakes is a conundrum on his own, when in midfield he doesn’t come back enough, and when up front he doesn’t always bring his ‘A’ game. He’s apparently having a lackluster season, but how do you leave out his potential, and there’s the added bonus of all the little girlie girls being so upset if they don’t get to see him play. If he does play, who sits? Deuce and Feilhaber? I certainly hope not. Where does he play, up front as the tucked in striker, or in the midfield as the attacking midfielder. Either way he’ll bump someone who deserves it more than him at this moment.

Up front, I think we’ll definitely be seeing Ed Johnson (he changed his name b/c he’s a Grown Ass Man now, and needs a Grown Ass Name) playing his brand of ‘will he or won’t he’ football. Arnaud would be the sensible choice, seeing as how they have 18 goals between them this year in MLS and play together regularly. But favoritism may rule out and we’ll see Lanny and EJ. This tandem scares the living hell out of me because both have a tendency to disappear for entire matches. And, while the Brazilians aren’t the best defensively, we may not get many chances to impose ourselves on the back four. Meaning that we need the both of them to be ‘On’ if they’re going to play together, otherwise you may as well just put two toddlers on the field to play ‘peek-a-boo’.

Hopefully Bradley sees it my way and plays the following guys in a 4-4-1-1 formation:

Simek – Gooch – DeMerit – Pearce

Bradley

Beasley Convey

Dempsey

Arnaud

Johnson

Half time Substitutions: Spector and 'Los to replace the center backs, Donovan replaces Arnaud, and Feilhaber replaces Bradley.

But, I predict we’ll see something more like this:

Simek – Gooch – Bocanegra – Pearce

Bradley

Dempsey Beasley

Arnaud

Donovan

Johnson

Finally....

2007-09-05T00:25:00.000-05:00

Finally Fulham steal a point from the jaws of defeat. Clint Dempsey began Fulham’s fight-back before the half-time whistle, for those keeping track at home that’s two goals in two games for the young American. A deflected goal plus goal-of-the-week-contender Diomansay Kamara’s bicycle kick sealed the draw when another home defeat looked to be materializing. Utilizing the P2P website that Dan mentioned in an earlier post, I was able to catch the last 5 minutes of the game. I was so stunned by Kamara’s audacious strike that I nearly dropped a hot iron on my foot. Yes dear readers, I am domesticated.

It was refreshing to see The Whites finally scrounge up a point to go with that miraculous three they earned against Bolton earlier in the season. Now they’re only 6 off Liverpool’s pace, which is probably already an insurmountable lead for a team that was pretty much assembled at the end of the transfer window. I’m happy that Mohamed Al Fayed has parted with some of his money to bring in some fresh blood, but I am still skeptical about how Lawrie went about using it.

Finally we have some news on Brian McBride’s injury (due to this post going up late, the finally doesn’t make as much sense anymore). It took three or four days for me to find any news about what had actually happened to one of our favorites here at SGS (Seven Guys Short), it saddens me that if David Beckham finds extra fiber in his stool Soccernet has 30 articles on it, but FulhamFC.com can't even get some news out within 48 hours of the game about their captain. WTF?!?!? To their defense Lawrie Sanchez may have covered it in his post-game press conference, but he's about as exciting to listen to as grass growing .

Apparently he dislocated his patella (Dan, that’s the kneecap), thankfully there was not a fracture as first assumed. Now we find out that he, his club, and his fans here across the pond hopes to be playing again by the end of December, right in time for that mess of games the English call the ‘Holiday Period’.

Holiday my ass, these players are subjected to 4 games in ten days. Granted my team used to play 4 games in two days, but we had unlimited substitutions and were admittedly not playing at that high of a level. Though, one has to wonder if the lower level caused more or less fatigue. Anyways these guys get run down, weary and injured quite frequently, so it sound like a great time for the McNugget to make his comeback. If you can’t sense the sarcasm, please leave now.

Finally there’s a yank in the Spanish Primera League. Danny Szetela, one of the better performers for the US U-20s at the Canada World Cup this summer, has just signed a two year deal with Racing Santander. This is one of the happier days for me in the last year. While I do love my Prem footie, the Primera League does offer a different sort of challenge for players. The extra time and space on the ball that they are given in Spain places more emphasis being a better technical player while also playing a prettier brand of football. Perfect for nurturing a young attack-minded midfield talent like Szetla. Along with Adu’s move to Benfica, we now have three of our more exciting young midfield talents plying their trades in leagues that demand more technique and creativity, which can never be a bad thing.

Soccernet would have you believe that there are two, Giuseppe Rossi plays for Villreal now, and that they are buddies from growing up. We will set the record straight here and now. We have no idea if Rossi and Szetela are pals from U-6 herdball, nor do we really give two shits. Rossi has blatantly removed himself from being termed a “Yank” and if I were Bob Bradley, Sunil Gulati, or anyone else associated with US Soccer, I would make sure he never has the opportunity to suit up for our beloved Red, White, and Blue. Rossi told DaBruce where his heart lay when Arena attempted to call him into National Team camp prior to Germany ’06. Rossi claimed that he would rather wait his turn to see if his father’s beloved Azzuri would give him a call-up. Granted we could use, quite desperately, striking talent like his, but a man/country/national soccer federation have to have morals and standards. So Rossi, you’ve been officially excommunicated from the Chapel of SGS and US Soccer.

Again, I digress. Congrats to Szetela, we’ll be watching for you to make an impact in the Primera this season. I for one am happy that you turned down the circus of hoofball that is Big Sam’s Newcastle, as well as the scandal and simulation that is Roma. Though, I think you and Totti could’ve been shoe-ins for the gold in pairs synchronized diving at the next summer Olympics. Actually I think you could’ve learned a lot from Francesco, but I doubt you would’ve usurped him for the attacking midfielder/withdrawn striker role anytime soon.

Also a belated congrats to Fredrick Adu for his long anticipated (yet anti-climactic) move across the pond, we’re glad that you chose a team that should help you develop into the talent that we know you can be. So, now it’s time to put up against the big boys in the big leagues. No more pouting around waiting for a transfer, you’re going to have to earn everything over there.

Finally (I know this is old news) the US Men's National Team will play in an unfriendly environment against a tough opponent. Oh wait! That's not really going to happen. Because of some TV contract sissy-pansy-bullshit, we will not be playing Mexico in Mexico City while hellfire and brimstone rain down from the stands. On the positive side of this debacle is the fact that SGS will be in Chicago this weekend to watch our beloved 'Nats get schooled in the art of playing the game with flair and creativity. That's right, Brazil is coming to town. While this is not an away match like all fans agree we need more of, it is a friendly against the creme de la creme. So, hopefully we'll learn a little something extra from this game.

Max, Jon, Dan, and I will all dissect Bradley's roster selections, Dan and I in print, and Jon and Max over the airwaves. Who should play where, who should've been called up that wasn't, and what implications that'll have on the next qualifying cycle, later in the week.

And, Finally time for some pancakes. I’m out.

"Seven Guys Short" in Chicago

2007-09-04T12:17:00.000-05:00

The comptent contributors to this fine piece of web-writing will be in Chicago this weekend for the so-called "Clash of Champions" between five-time World Cup winners Brazil and... er.... five-time World Cup qualifers (in a row!) United States.

In the build up for the match we'll be previewing both sides and the game that we expect, plus match coverage and post-game interviews with members of both national teams.

Oh wait... nope. I'm just hearing now that players will not be available, but you can catch all the post-match ramblings you want on this blog and our ugly sister podcast page "Seven Guys Short" Radio.

Here are the squad lists for both sides:

U.S. ROSTER
Goalkeepers (2): Tim Howard (Everton FC), Chris Seitz (Real Salt Lake)
Defenders (7): Carlos Bocanegra (Fulham FC), Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Jay DeMerit (Watford FC), Oguchi Onyewu (Standard de Liege), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock), Frank Simek (Sheffield Wednesday), Jonathan Spector (West Ham United)
Midfielders (6): DaMarcus Beasley (Glasgow Rangers), Michael Bradley (SC Heerenveen), Bobby Convey (Reading FC), Clint Dempsey (Fulham FC), Benny Feilhaber (Derby County), Pablo Mastroeni (Colorado Rapids)
Forwards (4): Davy Arnaud (Kansas City Wizards), Landon Donovan (Los Angeles Galaxy), Eddie Johnson (Kansas City Wizards), Josh Wolff (1860 Munich)

BRAZIL ROSTER
Goalkeepers (2): Doni (Roma), Julio Cesar (Inter Milan)
Defenders (8): Maicon (Inter Milan), Daniel Alves (Sevilla), Alex Silva (São Paulo), Lúcio (Bayern Munich), Juan (Roma), Alex (Chelsea), Kleber (Santos), Gilberto (Hertha Berlin),
Midfielders (8): Gilberto Silva (Arsenal), Mineiro (Hertha Berlin), Josué (VfL Wolfsburg), Fernando (Bordeaux), Elano (Manchester City), Kaká (AC Milan), Julio Baptista (Real Madrid), Diego (Werder Bremen)
Forwards (4): Ronaldinho (Barcelona), Robinho (Real Madrid), Vagner Love (CSKA Moscow), Afonso (SC Heerenveen)

The U.S. camp opened yesterday.

"Seven Guys Short" Radio Rolls On

2007-09-04T12:04:00.000-05:00

You may not have worked on Monday, but Jon and Max did dropping show #14 on our faithful listeners on "Seven Guys Short" Radio. The two pundits talk world football, the league tables and preview this weekend's monster match-up between the U.S. National Team and Brazil.

Just move that pretty little mouse over here and click to listen to our latest podcast.

Missed any of our previous shows? Just scroll down and to the right for a complete listing of the "Seven Guys Short" Radio archives.

Liverpool Go On Top

2007-09-03T22:04:00.000-05:00

Its been five years sicne Liverpool have owned the top of the Premiership so pardon me for basking in their huge 6-0 win over Derby County at home and Chelski's 0-2 loss to Aston Villa over the weekend.

The 'Pool have now put ten on the board for the Anfield faithful this week after this performance combined with the midweek Champions League rout of Tolouse, 4-0. They're looking like real league contenders and that was without defender Jamie Carragher and captain Steven Gerrard.

For this weekend's big win over the EPL's minows here's Ryan Babel fantastic goal. Torres had a beaut, but Babel footwork to get this goal really takes the care. (Extra credit for me to figure out how I could get the html code to embed this clip on the blog because the site I got this from was in Arabic)

Go Liverpool!

Killing Me Softly

2007-08-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

Fulham have done it again, they've found a way to lose the game after the 80th minute. I guess we shouldn't be satisfied with regular losses anymore; now we are approaching a whole new level of crashing and burning....

On a positive note, Brian McBride should be back around Christmas time, meaning that his freakish patella (that's your knee-cap, Dan) dislocation is not as serious as first thought. If I were anyone in a Fulham shirt, I don't think I'd go near that armband for a while.

Fulham have also added a fourth Yank to their payroll. Mr. Kasey Keller has signed for the Whites, supposedly to provide backup to the backup. However, Fulham's #2 is worse that me, when I'm inebriated. I'm just waiting for the announcement from MLS that DaBruce is leaving RBNY to join Lawrie Sanchez's backroom staff.

The US U-17's were gifted a berth into the second round of their World Cup. I do not know much about them, except for this one thing: they were amongst the favorites to take the title home this year. Then they go out and lose to Tajikistan. Seriously! Tajikistan! I might have a Lewis Black style anuerism. Then they were unlucky to fall behind 1-0 to Tunisia on a horrible hand-ball call in the box. {Note: When someone shoots the ball and your hand happens to be in the direct path, it is not a foul/penalty worthy offense} But to go on and lose 3-1, why not just throw 11 sticks out on the field and fly your asses home early. Anyways, they made it in by beating up on another World Soccer Power that was in their group [that was sarcasm] and now will face the Germans in the second round. I can't wait to see how this turns out....

All of this happening just days after the real reason I'm posting:
What is it with everyone in this freakin' country and treating footie like it's football of the padded variety. The beauty of our game is that it is fluid and demands instant decision making and creativity. Within 4 days of each other I ran into two instances of people talking about coaching "plays" in soccer. After that dreadful word came out of the second person's mouth, I simply walked away. I don't have enough brain cells left to convince you of why you're wrong.

My fiancee and I argue, back and forth for hours, about whether or not there exists a right and wrong way to play the game. We may not be able to agree on that but one thing we can agree on is that there is a wrong way to teach the game. Our football cannot be taught as some rigid process of events, otherwise we end up with tremendous athletes who cannot hold their own when faced with a mid-level opponent. Our football must be taught as a you, the player, have many choices at hand, and there are some that are better than others, but there isn't one do this every time choice.

These coaches who teach the game this way, yell at players for switching positions on the fly, and think that winning is the most important thing (for a developing soccer nation, we should be focusing on playing the game well and winning will follow), and referees who call EVERY little nudge and bump are driving me insane. It makes me so angry and dumbfounded to think about how these people continue to impact soccer at the youth level that it truly is killing me inside

-It's time for some pancakes, I'm out.

Five Things I Learned Watching England v. Germany on Wednesday

2007-08-23T15:05:00.000-05:00

1) I can empathize with Paul Robinson

Being a mediocre goalie myself I watching with a bit of bemusement when England 'keeper Paul Robinson really miffed a cross from Germany's Bernd Schneider's and it landed right in front of teammate Kevin Kuranyi who probably scored one of the easiest goals ever in international play. I'm not going to forgive Robinson for a horror handling of the not-too-difficult cross that came past him, but just say, "I've been there, buddy."

In my opinion field players are cut a lot more slack that keepers for the reasons that rarely do their mistakes end up determining the fate of the game. This guy, that guy, and another guy could miss four shots and all is forgiven when they bag one sitter, but goalies are constantly under attack for the one mistake that results in a match decision. Granted Paul Robinson's performance yesterday was not all that distinguished before or after the miscue, but the large point is that keepers are often the scapegoat for the whole side that has a mild showing on the pitch. One mistake, or even two, and everyone is calling for your head. See: Lehman, Jans, et al (who by the way does suck).

England showed great authority during the opening quarter of the game. Obviously that's when Chelsea's Frank Lampard struck his quality goal to give the Three Lions the early lead. Much of the match was not as impressive. Isolated good moments from Micha Richards and, dare I say it, David Beckham weren't enough cover for another lackluster job from England's "best."

For example, the marking on Robinson's howler was not impressive. A defender would naturally assume the top net-minder in England should have handled that cross with a bit more skill, but the marking on Germany's offense was terrible. When that ball did fall you saw a handful of England defenders several steps off their marks seemingly moving up field for what they thought was going to be a catch and clearance from Robbo. Basic thinking in any sport, whether bottom of the 9th and two outs in baseball or 90 minutes plus extra time says "its not over until its over" and Kuranyi hanging around to clean up Robinson's blunder is a great example of him remembering that and England's defense not. Coach Steve McClaren even said:

"It may have been a mistake but there were two or three mistakes before that which we should not have allowed."

The critics are out in full force on the whole England squad, but a lot of snap judgment also excuses the squad. Articles read, "If only Robinson had not made that blunder then England would have been triumphant!" The problem with that thinking is that it fails to take into account the previously aforementioned lack-luster display and, oh, that miraculous strike from Germany's Christian Pander.

2) Is there ever a perfect starting 11 for England?

Steven Gerrard has a broken toe, Wayne Rooney is out with a broken foot, Owen Hargreaves has a sore knee, Kieron Dyer is not a striker, Michael Owen only played 60 minutes.... all leading to the conclusion that IF ONLY England had their perfect 11 out there every game that the national team has played would have turned out differently.

Other criticism include the always troubling "no left winger" problem, the blame of the shoes on Rooney (first and second) and Beckham's foot injuries, the great #1 keeper conundrum, and blah, blah, blah. None of these take into consideration that a good national team can overcome these "problems" and still win consistently.

Many England supporters act as though they are the only squads that suffer injuries and related difficulties. ALL teams suffer. Period. Many manage to win games despite setbacks. Only every time one or two England players are missing in action due to injury or club/country deputes or whatever and this automatically derails the England (fill-in-the-blank-year) hopes.

I have never, ever seen a national team waltz out their ideal starting 11 (wait... Azerbaijan did it in 1994, no, 1996.. I can't remember now). Whether it is injuries or coaches ignoring young talent, or holding on to part-their-prime established players the starting 11 is always a work in progress. Teams that consistently contend for championships, whether domestically or internationally, have the depth to contend even when a curve ball is throw their way. England, apparently, does not have this capacity to adjust or, at the very least, mentally get beyond losing players here and there.

3) England is not a top tier footballing team

I'm getting real tired of the continued assertion that England deserve to be in the top tier of the footballing powers. If the United States do not deserve to be included (which they don't) then England does not either.

The United States has won its regional tournament several times, most recently this year. While the European Championship is most definitely more difficult England has not had a chance in at least a decade. The United States has made it to the quarter-finals of one World Cup. England has performed with mixed results in the World Cup with its crashing out to Portugal and Brazil in the last two. The sole difference between the two sides is that England captured a Cup in 1966 which has as much relevance now as its victory in World War I. England deserves very little international standing based on its results of late. Both national teams a vulnerable to quality European sides and tragic loses/draws to smaller regional opponents (See: Germany, Croatia, Macedonia for England and Sweden, Mexico, Jamaica for the U.S.).

Don't get me wrong, England IS a quality side, but that quality is very inconsistent. They are better than the United States... I'm not trying to make a direct comparison. The greatest problem I have is that 1966 some how entombs England into soccer's elite national team and that is just not the case. They have good players, but absolutely unrealistic expectations for success. Their media is obsessed with setting the bar extremely high and then setting any player or coach on fire when they fall short.

This situation cannot work for England. Until a little reason sets itself back on the island the national team ,and quite frankly, the domestic leagues, (which suffer from a U.S. presidential horse race mentality: i.e. who's hot, who's not or who's in, who's out... from week one) these types of disappointments are only going to get more intense.

American soccer fans, at the very least, are more realistic about our place in the larger footballing world. We know we are not going to contend for the World Cup in 2008, that regional minnows or middle-of-the-pack European teams are going to continue to give us a hard time, and that the Brazils, Argentinas, and other world soccer powers are out of reach. England, on the other hand, hypes up its team as the second coming of 1966 and then are surprised when real football powers walk over them.

4) David Beckham is still good

One of the few quality performances from the game came by way of the "first England cap from a non-European club." Add Micah Richards, Michael Owen, Joe Cole to the mix and you've got some quality on the pitch from yesterday.

The service from Becks, with the exception of that dreadful free kick he put into Germany's wall in the first half, was awesome. I couldn't count how many times he put an England teammate onto a ball with goal-scoring potential. If finishing was on the menu for yesterday (which it wasn't) he would've had six assists. It reminded me of the chances created via long and short ball in the loss to New York in MLS last week. Beckham was a catalyst and England was a better team for it.

5) Internet streaming soccer rules

This year I've been mourning the death of my ability to see soccer on a consistent basis, but now I'm celebrating! When Nick and I went to the Highbury to watch the Manchester derby and the 'Pool/Chelsea clash some of the patrons were gathering around a computer screen to watch the Arsenal/Blackburn match. It wasn't subscription soccer, because the quality wasn't perfect, but it was free.

I spent early Wednesday trying to hunt down this mysterious "free soccer" and I found this site, which with the help of some software makes it easy to watch pretty much any match, anywhere in the world for free.

The quality isn't perfect and the feed sometimes cuts out, but for free you can't get much better. In conclusion its nice to be back on the soccer wagon.

All That You Need To Know

2007-08-23T14:28:00.000-05:00

"Seven Guys Short" Radio is on the air again and ready for your listening pleasure. Click on "Show #13" on the sidebar or head to our podcast page.

The brilliant Jon and Max lend their soothing voices to this week's episode, "All That You Need to Know" covering the EPL and international football. Catch their insights in this hip-hop infused show.

Three Things I Learned Watching Girls' Youth Soccer and EPL Soccer this Weekend

2007-08-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

Having Nick visiting from Chicago gave me the opportunity to watch more soccer than I usually would in a weekend. Unfortunately that only meant catching the Sunday Manchester derby and the Liverpool v. Chelsea games. Rather then catch the interesting match ups offered on Saturday morning Nick and I headed north of Mil-town to observe a REAL clash of the titans: my sister's U-17 team battle some misfits from Kalamazoo, Michigan.

To be honest my sister, Emily, is a talented footballer, and her squad competes against some of the better teams across the state so one could expect a decent amount of skill. I love the fact that they often come to the Milwaukee-area to compete in tournaments and I get to see a lot more of her games. Her side dismantled the other side from Kalamazoo, 3-0, but that's not the biggest point I'm trying to match. There were several other observations I wanted to share having watched girls' youth soccer and the manly men of the English Premier League.

1) Officiating sucks no matter what level of soccer you play at

As players, coaches, and even waterboys and trainers move up in the soccer world it is necessarily assumed that they've gotten where they are b being talented individuals who can compete/ do their job at the level they're mow at. Now there are always a few people who have risen to a certain place and showed they cannot hack, but for the most part players, managers, etc rise to the top and sink based on their ability.

Disappointingly, this is not the case for match referees. No matter what level they cover, or for that matter what sport they cover, referees are often the shittiest part of the sporting equation.

In Emily's match on Saturday I was already going to give the center official and his crew a pass after the first half. The man-in-the-middle was calling a good game; it was physical without being dangerous and the flow of the match was making for good football.

I don't know what came over the man during halftime, but he decided to toss out all of his good work in the second half. Every contact between players was now a foul and the second half became a train wreck and the exact opposite of the beautiful game that dominated the first half. In girls' soccer too often the match officials determine the flow of the game by treating the ladies as porcelain China dolls restricting their interactions even though both sides clearly want to wack each other in a competitive way.

In the EPL this weekend we also saw a lot of horror officiating. Fulham lost a late equalizer to 'Boro because no one (of importance) saw the ball cross the goal line and Liverpool lost a deserves three points from arch-rivals Chelsea when the Blues' Florent Malouda flew through the penalty box a flopped like a dying fish earning his side a PK to draw even with my Reds.

Granted Liverpool had a several other chances to take total control of the game, but one goal was looking to be enough because Chelski were absolutely ineffective and showed little chance of drawing even until the controversial penalty decision. And this rant isn't even going to go into the nine (NINE!) yellow cards that the ref tossed out in random fashion (Michael Essien appeared to get books for a second yellow card, but then it was awarded to John Terry)

One of the top stories on Soccernet this morning backs my version of the events up. Center ref Rob Syles apologized for his call that allowed Chelsea to equalize:

The match official has accepted he made a mistake in penalising Steve Finnan and as a result he will not be given a match to referee this weekend.

Styles said: "All referees enter into matches hoping not to make any mistakes but understanding that they may happen, what none of us want is for any mistake to potentially affect the result of the match.

"Yesterday, in mistakenly awarding a penalty, I accept that I may have affected the result of the match and for that I apologise."

No matter what level of soccer these people of official there always seems to be these shit-heads. Fortunately in the case of Styles and the side line ref that blew it during the Fulham match they will be taking the next weekend off. As for youth soccer refs there seems to be little hope that these men who get their license during a week-long or weekend course will just disappear. They run rampant over youth soccer fields all over the nation killing the physicality and flow that American soccer so richly needs.

2) If a U-17er can find her goal scoring instincts why can't Manchester United?

Manchester United crashed and burned this weekend against cross town rivals City. Sven Goran Erikkson is now seen as a savior rather than the devil everyone thought he was just a few short years ago. How someone goes from chump to champ so quickly in the eyes of the English always surprises me (see: Beckham post 1998 WC). A wonder-strike from Geovanni allowed City to take three points from United.

With Rooney out with a broken foot and Ronaldo suspended for the derby much of the goal scoring pressure fell to new signing Carlos Tevez who wilted under the pressure. Take for example his miss at the back post, near the middle of the second half, which most could have accidentally run into and put in the back of the net.

A 1-0 scoreline in City's favor speaks volumes to the lack of bite in the Red Devils attack right now. City was actually pushing for more goals so they were certainly vulnerable to the counter-attack, but United didn't seem ready for the taking. Tevez had an arsenal of scoring help behind him (I'm looking at you Giggs, Scholes, Carrick, etc) that was not so helpful.

Granted City keeper Kasper Schmeichel played like his dad during his glory United years, but Manchester United didn't really work him over more than he's already seen this season. United just lacked the impetus to go to goal and put the deadly, finishing touch on City.

Conversely, a girl on Emily's team did not lack such motivations. Her name was Erin and she owned the game from start until an ankle injury forced her out midway through the second half. She bagged a brace before the end of the first half with aggressive-ness and authority you don't often see at that level. She was getting excellent service from her teammates, but most importantly when the ball was at her feet she took Route 1 at the defense.

Without sounding like a love affair with this player, I cannot have anything but respect for her skill set in doing what a lot of players at a lot of other level often do not do: going at defenses at making things (most importantly, goals) happen.

Fernando Torres made things happen (one goal.. a few more potentials waiting in the wings), but Chelsea striker Didier Drogba did not. His few touches to the ball came via backing his ass into a defender and trying to receive long ball service from the defensive half. It was... unsuccessful.

I think City's run right now is impressive, but probably a paper tiger. United should have been able to take their highly talented squad and run at City's defense, but ran away (or to the wings) from the chances. United's Tevez and company are lacking the deadly scoring touch and the initiative I saw in a 16 year old girl to score goals.

3) Mega-corporations have screwed up soccer

Normally this is a tune that Nick sings, but I'm going to add a few lines of my own. The team my sister played against was sponsored by McDonald's. No kidding... there was a nice, easy to see golden arches on the belly of each girl on the Kalamazoo team. A nice reminder that the same company that is making it harder to play soccer (by turning kids massively obese) is also making it easier to play soccer (by providing money to clubs that might need help with finances). The poor girls looked foolish out there in the kits.

It reminded me of how often a good jersey is ruined by poor sponsorship. Doritos on Wolverhampton, gambling sites on Tottenham, Aston Villa, etc, or UNICEF on Barcelona (a good idea, but the sweatshop-made Nike jerseys kinda defeat the point of the United Nations helping impoverished kids when the jersey maker only exacerbates the problem). Some logos and some teams were never meant to join in holy matrimony. And the easiest point that needs to be made is it turns kids into corporate whores. Its like Coke and Pepsi buying school districts off to put soda machines in the lunchroom. Some organizations should be bought and paid for.

I'm all for inner-city soccer clubs that might be desperate for income taking on donations from companies, but believe me, any team that can drive from Kalamazoo, MI to play in Milwaukee is not a club in dire financial straits. Corporations seek out big clubs that have lots of members to slap a logo on and that only creates a bigger gap between the haves and have nots of youth soccer. Much like ESPN and company have ruined what little league baseball was with TV and sponsorships. Not to say that parents and the teams are not to blame for buying into the hype.

My second point is that my sister's club has adidas jerseys and that makes them look as good (or as bad) as every adidas sponsored team in the EPL (and of course all of Major League Soccer). Frankly it was only the pony tails that was keeping me from seeing Ajax out there (the team's jerseys are blue and the same design as Ajax's away jersey), or Chelsea, or Kansas City, or a dozen other major clubs.

Nick complains that adidas and Nike and other jersey manufactures are poor creators of jerseys. I would disagree only because the designs are not that bad, but there are just too many teams with the same type of kits just with different colors. Liverpool and Chelsea had the same kits minus the fact one was red and one was blue. The match looked like a "rock-em-sock-em-robots" affair. I'm all for youth clubs wanting to emulate professionals, but when its a matter only four choices of kits for pros and kids there's a problem.

I'm sure there are plenty of other things I could've gleaned from the whole two day experience, but these four stood out the most. If there's anything that comes to mind feel free to add anything in our comments section below.

Blatenttly Stolen Articles: Relax, Don't Do It When The Premier League Comes

2007-08-18T12:44:00.000-05:00

By John Nicholson, EPL Talk Blog

There was this woman called Candy. And there was this Motel 6 room on the 101 outside of San Luis Obispo. She suffered from premature ejaculation. Oh yes. And I was thinking this weekend that she was just like so many football fans.

Not only did she actually – well, squirt is how I'd have to put it – she did so after little or no stimulation. It was quite a performance to behold and it made an adverse impact on the soft furnishings and mattress of this particular Motel 6 I can tell you.

I encountered her while living out my rock n roll road dreams with a Stratocaster and three stoned lunatic musicians.

Her substantial orgasmic response to my ham-fisted pawing was such a shock to me that at first I thought she was simply incontinent, which all in all, is likely to put you off both rumpy and pumpy. Then I considered that she might be just crazy and all the thrashing and thrusting was just some amateur dramatics. But no, it was all for real. She could have an orgasm almost instantly at almost any time. While this must have been at least somewhat pleasurable, I would have thought it was also a tad inconvenient when traveling on a bus over a bumpy road and if someone is drilling the road up outside.

Outwardly you couldn't tell. There was nothing physical to suggest she was a walking orgasmatron. In truth you had to put towels down to do any serious humping, it was very messy because she would just keep on doing it and every time it was like turning on a garden hose.

Having had to work hard in the past to get ladies to this state of climax and frequently failing, it was surprisingly unsatisfying to be presented with a lady who would go off like a hand grenade as soon as look at you.

I was reminded of her this weekend when I heard the first fan reaction to the first games of the season. Just one game down and they've already shot their wad like teenage boys being seduced by the cute looking 23 year old substitute games mistress.

Instant and absolute judgments have already been made and conclusions drawn. Spurs are rubbish, 4th place? Delusion. Man United have already lost the title and Ferguson hasn't a clue what he's doing tactically compared to that nice man Coppell. Newcastle are now officially brilliant, Allardyce is a genius and Bolton are going down. Sven is now a football hero and not the cold, heartless, useless gimp that he was made out to be. It's all so clear now, after just 90 minutes of football. It all comes out in one massive orgiastic splurge of opinion.

This is one of the unintended consequences of the interactive media. Everyone gets to tell you what they think instantly without any pause for consideration. Which is all fine, but we shouldn't take it with any degree of seriousness. It sets a hysterical tone and makes all concerned look a bit mad.

Football eventually makes fools of all of us who think we know something about it. You need about 10 games in a new season to really figure out what is happening, anything quicker than that is simply premature football ejaculation!

Finally....

2007-08-17T14:55:00.000-05:00

Well there you have it.... Beckham's first goal for the Los Angeles Galaxy. The man that is paid $250 million nailed home one of his trademark free-kicks. "domo arigoto fool" over at Football is for the Madman summed up this historic momment (sure to fill similar spaces in our history books as the Revolutionary War, Kennedy's assassination, and Clinton's "cigar trick"):

And that free kick goal by Beckham? Sensational... for the MLS, but mediocre for a decent league. What was Troy Perkins thinking going toward his wall? As bad as the MLS is, a lot of players are able to bend it and the most obvious place is where your wall is not.

In history there are a lot of people who say "I remember where I was and what I was doing when...." (fill-in-the-blank: Kennedy assassination, 9/11, Bush impeached). but to be honest I don't even know when Beckham scored this goal. I must have dropped off the face of the soccer world for a day or two because I didn't catch the clip until today. Unbelievable!

As Nick said... its really starting to kill me that I don't have any access to regular soccer. It wasn't a big deal when the Wiersema household dropped digital cable to save a couple of bucks in the summer, but now that the European seasons are roaring to life I'm stuck catching pirated clips on the Inter-web. Its kind of liking watching those 10 sec clips of porn the free sites give you to lure you into subscribing for $24.95/month (don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!).

Listening to Jon and Max talking EPL debut week on "Seven Guys Short Radio" last week really made me jealous that they caught almost every game. I guess I'm just going to have to travel down to the neighborhood pub a bit more...

Liverpool 1 - 0 Toulouse

2007-08-17T12:22:00.000-05:00

Just in time to threaten Chelsea before the 'Pool matches up with them on Sunday is new striker Andriy Voronin's wonder-striker against the French Ligue 1 Champions League qualifiers. Watch! He megs the Toulouse defender with his shot!

Online Videos by Veoh.com

On top of Gerrard's free kick from the weekend I hope that I'm in for a season of supurb goals by Liverpool's lineup. If we needed one thing to improve on from last season (and there were plenty of things) it was a dire need for more goal scoring options.

On a side note... well kinda related to my Chelsea taunting... the "Seven Guys Short" crew is going to be out in Milwaukee on Sunday morning catching the Manchester derby and the Liverpool win against Chelski. Keep an eye out... either Nomad on Brady St or the Highbury on the southside.

Amusing things I found while crying in my beer

2007-08-16T21:29:00.000-05:00

Where does your team's manager stand in the Premiership pecking order???

Who shouldn't be on the US National Team...

Enjoy.

I am in Soccer(Football) Hell!!!!!

2007-08-16T20:38:00.000-05:00

Like Dan, the wife and I have also done away with digital cable (thus FSC and GolTV). At first it was to save money, but then it ended up being forced by our landlords, since they're paying for basic cable. They're a glitch in the Cox cable system, like Milton was at Initech, where they're only paying $17 a month (if you ask me it's way too much for what we're getting), so we can't up the package for fear of them getting found out.

In order to solve this dilemma, I jumped on the FSC and Setanta websites to find pubs in the area that carry my favorite channels. My search yielded approximately 5 Irish/Euro style pubs with "The Channel" and Setanta. So on the eve of the Premiership Season I began calling around to see what time I should show up at one of these places to enjoy a cold one and some football. I swear to God none of these places open before 11.

I am shocked, stunned, baffled and a host of other adjectives. How can one call themselves an Irish pub if they do not open in time to show live football? And how in the name of Pele is there not a single bar within a 30 minute drive from here that is open during those precious early morning hours when real football is on TV? How I ask you?

If any of you, dear readers, know of a pub within 30 minutes of Tinley Park, IL 60477 that shows live Premiership matches at 6am, please let me know, I need my fix.

I shall continue on in my depressive state for as long as I can, but if you don't hear from me within the next two weeks, please begin making funeral arrangements.

Peace, love, and football be with you all.

Back In The Saddle Again

2007-08-14T21:58:00.000-05:00

Hey Soccer Fans!

Jon and Max are back in the studio to bring you some more soccer knowledge. Listen to the recap of the new EPL season. They not only stop there, they drop all the knowledge you need from the states. They go just short of begging for listners for some well needed comments and feedback.

CHEERS!

The Season Starts Here

2007-08-11T17:52:00.000-05:00

Best weekend ever kicks off today with the EPL and other European leagues starting their collective engines. This will be my first Prem league season without the viewing aid of Fox Soccer Channel (we've unloaded digital cable in a mostly futile effort to save money in my household) so I imagine less time at home and more in the Milwaukee-area pubs.

Either way Liverpool opened up their 2007-08 campaign with a 2-1 win over Aston Villa with Gerrard taking the spoils once again with a cracker of a game-winning goal. The three points puts them up top the EPL standings, a place I'm sure they'll still occupy mid-May!

So here's to football and another great season! Just in case you were in need of a "who's who" of the English Premier League I invited a few friends over to introduce the league's 20 clubs. Ladies, take it away....

The Silly Season gets even sillier

2007-08-10T18:38:00.000-05:00

Well dear readers, with the Premiership season just around the corner I’ve decided to weigh in on the goings on in this current silly season. Why is it called the silly season you ask? Because teams spend ridiculous amounts of money on players; and the big guns usually splurge on big names while failing to shore up any weaknesses that they may have displayed last season. Teams also splash a shit-ton of cash on semi-unproven youngsters {Webster’s dictionary definition: shit-ton – 1.) a unit of weight/measurement that is greater than a metric ton.2.) an absurd amount}. I believe the following examples will highlight my point.

-Alexandre Pato signs with AC Milan for 30 million pounds while Freddy Adu signs with Benfica for 1

Somehow it doesn’t really seem fair, does it? Freddy owned Pato’s Brazil in the U-20 World Cup, and he goes for 1/30^th of the asking price. Maybe Benfica snagged the deal of all deals, and Milan got raked over the coals a bit, but that still cannot account for the huge discrepancy between the two fees.

To be fair, Adu has underperformed to a level that not even greatest of underachiever could achieve, because they’re, well, great underachievers. And Pato has helped his former club to reach and play well in the World Club Championships, while Freddy helped DC United to the title in his rookie season, and that’s all. By helped I mean made sure Jaime Moreno was hydrated enough to score goals.

Maybe there’s a Brazilian tax out there that drives up the asking price for any player who hails from the South American soccer power. Maybe I should change my name to Nicholinho, put a clip of me destroying some nine year olds on YouTube, then I could probably fetch at least a 5 million pound transfer fee.

-ManUnited sign a 9 year after watching 4 minute video clip.

As posted before here on Seven Guys Short, this nine-year old kid Rhain something or other was signed to the United youth team after they caught sight of him on a home-DVD that his grandfather made. Look at the video (you can view it on this site, or go to YouTube.com) and you’ll see that this kid has tremendous potential. He pulls off moves that Zidane and Ronaldinho use, he distributes the ball with better vision than most professionals two-and-a-half times his age.

Here’s the problem with him going to United: Hype! Over hyping a young talent can lead to serious development problems (see Freddy Adu as a prime example), and everyone in the soccer universe knows how horrific the English media is. In fact, they’ve already tabbed him the next Rooney.

I hope the kid continues to develop along his current path, because right now he looks like he could become the next Zidane or Ronaldinho. And, even though he won’t be playing for my or anyone else’s team he’ll be one of those players that everyone loves to watch, kind of like Gretzky.

-Eddie Johnson turns down move to Europe, apparently he was not pouting for the last two years

Eddie Johnson apparently scuppered a move that would’ve seen him join Premiership new/whipping boys Derby County. This means that he wasn’t pouting the last two and a half seasons about not being allowed out of MLS. So the question remains why the hell was he playing so poorly? I thought he was just pouting.

Dan and I have discussed this at length and we believe, nay we are almost positive, the move was turned down that he could continue tearing MLS ‘D’s’ a new one and then garner a more lucrative January move to a better team. We do however find fault with this logic. If Eddie goes now he gets to work out with the team in their pre-season training and earn his spot on a team that obviously would put him to use, and then maybe earn a move at the end of the season when Derby is assumed to headed back into the Colaship. If he goes in January, as Dan and I foresee, he’ll be fighting for his place in a squad that has already been together for half a season and the pecking order has been established. Let us not forget Deuce’s journey last season where he had to catch up fitness wise and only got a handful of games at the end of the season.

Eddie, whatever you decide to do, just do it to the best of your ability and make sure that your decision is based on which team will help you to continue to develop as a player. Because, that is all we, the fans of the USMNT, want.

-Benitez continues assembling Spanish armada at Anfield, British government have yet to care

Rafa continues his Spanish spending spree at Anfield, Dan will be able to better highlight who’s coming and going at Anfield, but I’m here to talk about Fernando Torres. Yes Liverpool needed help in the striking department, but I didn’t think they needed a big name signing like this. Hopefully their new ground doesn’t have any ceilings at all considering the size of all the strikers’ heads. I was under the impression that they’d need to bring in a veteran forward to replace Robbie Fowler and light a fire under some asses, but he brings in a big-time striker in the Spanish Primera and relegates Dirk Kuyt and Peter Crouch to sideshows, they both look kind of freakish as it is.

After the capture of Torres, Benitez signed Dutch wunder-kid Ryan Babel who is also a striker/forward. I think he’s going with the Brazilian’s magic square formation they used in Germany. Someone should point out to Rafa how well that worked for them.

Aside from the unnecessary amount of strikers being herded at Anfield, there is the whole Spanish Armada that he appears to be assembling. Back in the day, Dan correct me if I’m wrong here, Spain and England had a huge naval battle to establish who would be the supreme naval power in Europe. England won, and the Benitez blood-line has been plotting revenge ever since. Now he’s building his Spanish fleet in England and no one seems to care. Why hasn’t Parliament stepped in to put a stop to this? All I know is that if he was pulling some shit like this in the US, the Department of Homeland Security would be all over him like flies on cow-dung.

-Former Fulham manager Cookie Coleman has to be wondering WTF? New Cottager boss Lawrie Sanchez has already blown 20 million pounds on players that are unproven at the Premiership level.

I don’t think Coleman spent more than 25 million in his entire 4 year tenure, and look what he was able to accomplish: Premiership safety, which given the resources and injuries he dealt with, seemed the loftiest of lofty ambitions at times. What could Fulham have been like if Cookie had invested funds like that? His shrewdest purchase to date has been McBride for 750,000 pounds. He ended up being Fulham’s player of the season and goal scoring leader the past two seasons (with painfully limited service from the non-existent wingers).

The silliness here is that Fulham fired Cookie near the end of last season, and then immediately gave his successor $40 million to blow on players. None of his players have been proven at the Premiership level either. Coleman bought a lot of players who had experience and success at the Premiership level. Granted it may be too early to judge Lawrie’s buys, but I am extremely skeptical.

- The Carlos Tevez saga appears to be over with ManUtd finally securing the services of the talented yet hideous Argentine.

Manchester United have apparently paid West Ham or Kia Joorabchian, no one is really sure at this point, 2 million pounds to sign Tevez on loan with a view to make it permanent after 2 or 3 years. This story has been so confusing that it doesn’t really matter if I get the facts correct or not, you wouldn’t know the difference anyways. FIFA chose not to get involved in this one, which I think was a good idea on one hand, since they said it would be of benefit to all parties involved if they stayed out (probably looking to keep Sepp’s foot out of his mouth), but on the other hand it sets a somewhat dangerous precedent that no one has stepped in to clarify that players belong to their clubs and not certain individuals.

The ramifications of not setting the tone in this situation could spill over into Kia Joorabchian starting Sally Struthers like commercials

“Hi, my name is Kia Joorabchian and for just pennies a day you can adopt a poor South American child. Your money will allow this child to drink fresh water, eat food that is not encased with flies, and if you donate upwards of five dollars a day your child can attend one of the region’s best football academies. If you’re lucky your child could become a world class footballer, and you can sit on the sidelines (meaning courtrooms) and rake in the cash when your player moves onto Europe. Just stay away from England, they’re pretty strict on player ownership rules.”

With the signing of Tevez, United has picked up three pacey attacking players to compliment Wayne Rooney and Christiano Ronaldo. While they’re building for the Ryan Giggs-less future, they’ve done a horrible job addressing the one need that all four of us here at Seven Guys Short were in agreement on; they need a target forward. Would someone please explain to me how any of these players fit that need?

And…..I’m done. My apologies if this wasn’t quite the rant you all probably expected it to be.

Start of the BPL

2007-08-08T15:51:00.000-05:00

Ya, its that time a year again ladies and gentlemen...

Its that time of the year where girlfriends no longer see their boyfriends after 8AM because they are glued to the TV every weekend watching matches and then again during the week to watch the replay. Not to mention, sneaking out to the local pub to watch Setanta, AKA the station that carries all soccer matches.

For all of you excited viewers, here's the line-up. Saturday features 3 matches on FSC. West Ham vs Man City, Aston Villa vs 2nd place hopefulls Liverpool, and Derby vs Portsmouth to round out the day. Sunday has 2 great matches, Arsenal vs Fulham and finally, Manchester United vs Reading, which will be my personal favorite. This match will be the return of US Goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann in net for Reading. Watch the future net-tender try to defend the blistering attack of the upgraded/speedy ManUnited offense. In addition, you can catch Bobby Convey also playing with Reading in his 2007 EPL debut.

Stay tuned on Sunday as this will mark the return of Seven Guy Short Radio Recap Show. We will be back in full swing with a recap from every game with deep analysis of the weekends matches. YES! that is a lot of knowledge, but hey, who ya gonna go to for that kind of in depth coverage... Greg Lalas on SI?

Also, stay with us as we start adding more articles to the site and many more podcasts for your listening pleasure. Please spread the word on the podcasts, hording them for yourself is great, but the more listeners that we get, the better the podcast will become, I promise. We are striving for a couple of new outlets for the podcast and are seeking new avenues of exploration and like we always say, GIVE US SOME FEEDBACK! We eat that stuff up and it can only make Seven Guys Short a better soccer blog/podcast/knowledge bank. Remember, this is all fun for us here at SGS so lets keep it that way. Hope you enjoy your soccer weekend in EPL/BPL, tell your significant other you will make it up to them later, you have important things to do! Till then, stay classy.

Cheers,

MAx

Holy Shit

2007-08-02T16:54:00.000-05:00

So there's this nine year old enlgish kid living in Australia who is a better player right now then I could ever hope to be.

Watch:

Now it's my turn to be back

2007-08-01T21:24:00.000-05:00

Dear readers, sorry that I have not been posting in the last few weeks. I've been busy at work, busy moving, busy starting to actually coach this beautiful game and contribute more than just snarky sarcasm to it.

I will be posting, a real post, soon though I know you all are not waiting with bated breath for it.

Topics I will be covering:
- US U-20s and their offensive displays and what that means for the future
- The silliest silly season in quite some time
- Fredinho's transfer to Benfica
- And maybe more, maybe not we'll see how the week's news progresses.

Stay Tuned.

Low Blow

2007-07-16T21:54:00.000-05:00

Just to follow up on the Beckham/soccer-defending post I wrote last week... and I'm probably going to regret this later... I'd like to point out that Gene Wojciechowski's so-called expert in his article is actually a former man. The super sleuths at "Seven Guys Short" (aka Max) went undercover to catch the story.

Frankly I don't care about a sportswriters personal life, but man or woman, dude/chick needs to stand up for soccer.

Let me put it this way I'm not going to trust any person on anything, soccer or otherwise, if person can't even decide on their gender.

There I said it...

Live On Location

2007-07-15T22:33:00.000-05:00

Jon and Max go live on location at an area Irish Pub to breakdown the transfer market, as well as go over the British Invasion.

Cheers,

Old News: Beckham Arrives in LA, Galaxy Unveil New Jerseys

2007-07-14T10:43:00.000-05:00

So Posh and Becks touched down in Los Angeles the other day to much fanfare. Consider it the second British invasion. If you must get all specific this is the sixth British invasion America has experienced. For the confused amongst you:

1) Britain's creation of the American colonies and the subsequent Revolutionary War by said colonies - 1600s to 1783
2) War of 1812 (we Americans are lucky the worst thing they did was burn Washington DC to the ground) - 1812 to 1814
3) The Beatles - 1960s
4) British Punk Rock - 1980s
5) Spice Girls - mid-1990s
6) David Beckham - 2007 to ?????

I almost combined Beckham into the fifth item because of his wife, a member of the newly re-united Spice Girls. One could consider his entry into the American spotlight a continuing occupation of the Spice Girls "domination" of the mid-1990s. Don't you worry Spice fans, I've heard that the uber-group is planning on a world tour with stops in the United States.

I digress.... with all the fanfare surrounding Golden Balls' arrival stateside (hey Sportscenter made it a top story yesterday!) I nearly forgot the other big news which was the complete re-branding of the LA Galaxy. Nothing says "sell-out" like changing your logo, colors, and slapping a marijuana leaf across the front of the jersey with the arrival of your marquee player.

I did think it was really sweet when the official LA Galaxy website made some room for there former marquee player, Landon Donovan. He's shown debuting the new jerseys designed specifically for that other guy's introduction. Part of me hopes, actually all of me hopes, that the attention focused on Beckham makes Donovan the premier player that all Galaxy, and more generally, national team fans, desperately want him to become. Donovan has shown a whole lot of maturity in the Beckham madness.

I don't really have much to comment on the Beckham debut seeing that we all have, and everyone else, talked about his arrival and impact to death. We'll all have to tune in on July 21st when he's supposed to start against Chelsea in the World Series of Football if he's fit.

Stay tuned....

Soccer-Lovers United! A Hater Pens Another Column

2007-07-11T14:58:00.000-05:00

Normally I don't let anti-soccer articles by "mainstream" sports columnists get to me that much, but this one seemed to hit the right cord. This article appeared a few days ago on ESPN's website and was written by one of their regulars, Gene Wojciechowski. Besides not having a name I can pronounce, he has a column that is stupid beyond recognition. He knows he's going to piss off people, he acknowledges that in like the fourth paragraph, but that's kinda like saying "no offense, but...." to someone you're about to offend. The other thing that annoys me is the fact he interviews some smug "soccer expert" that sorta justifies his column making the American soccer fan look like a jackass. So I'm going to do through his column, paragraph by paragraph and rip on him just to make myself feel better.

I wouldn't know David Beckham if he bent a corner kick into my jaw. Now if Posh were with him, maybe the face would ring a bell. But otherwise, nothing.

It's not that I'm anti-soccer, I'm just anti-dull. To me, soccer is hockey on a Valium overdose, but with no glove dropping or board checking.

For anyone who has watched more than one or two games of soccer, we know that this is one of the most obvious attacks on soccer. And one of the most untrue. Sorry, soccer doesn't have built-in shit to hit people into or equipment to throw off in anger. If you want violence just check out any game and I'm sure you'll see plenty of tough-as-nails tackles to rival the most impressive of hockey knock-outs. Take for example, last season, when not one, but two of Chelsea's goalkeepers were knocked unconscious during a Premier League match. No equipment necessary there to save anyone.

The Beckhams -- David and Victoria -- are polarizing figures in England. And elsewhere.

Yes, I'm aware it's called "The Beautiful Game" -- and I'm sure it is, much in the same way folding your laundry is "The Beautiful Chore." And, yes, I know all about Beckham's much-anticipated official introduction to the MLS on July 13 in Los Angeles. I've also heard of the World Cup, the boffo CONCACAF Gold Cup TV ratings, and the fact that every available suburban sports field will be infested with soccer kids this weekend.

Mr. Soccer-hater makes my point right there. Soccer is full of big news items. The arrival of Beckham, the USA's Gold Cup success, and our involvement in the Copa America means that soccer is moving off the backburner of American sports. Not to mention that millions of kids play the darn sport everyday means long after his hockey melts under global warming I'll still be watching soccer on TV. As for the laundry comment... its so immature I'm not even going to dignify it with a response.

But I can't name you a half dozen active soccer players -- and I'm not alone. I'm not sure I can name you six soccer players, dead or alive. Let's see: Pele, Freddy Adu, that French dude who headbutted that Italian dude, Mia Hamm, Sylvester Stallone and Keira Knightley?

By even being aware of the six figures that he mentions, Mr. Stupid-Weird-Name lets me know that he is lying about his knowledge of soccer. Nobody connected to the sports world doesn't know the name of the "French dude who headbutted that Italian dude." I guarantees that he does know... if someone knows the countries he knows the names. Pele, Adu, and Hamm are all obvious calls, but the mention of Knightley tells me that he certainly is just bullshitting us by mentioning soccer-realted media. And finally, few know that Stallone played in a soccer movie so the fact that he pulled out the tidbit that "Rambo" was the keeper in "Escape to Victory" clearly proves that he is hedging on his soccer knowledge to be a soccer-snob.

This will upset some soccer snobs, who tend to go all hooligan on you if you don't "get" the game. Look, I've got no problem with a Brit lad telling me he'd rather eat English food than watch a Royals-Pirates interleague game or, worse yet, the Raiders against anybody. But don't jump me just because I yawn at the mention of the Premiership.

I will jump you. This is coming from a fan who enjoys both the sport of baseball (yes, even random games) and soccer. I think most "mainstream" sports writers attack soccer fans because the enjoy getting the typical hate mail. He's whole "don't jump me because I just ripped your sport" is another "no offense, but I'm going to offend you" comment. I'm actually going to jump head and make a counter-point to his next sentence while it still relates to my multi-sport loving comments just above. Americans have enough appreciation for sport to make room for soccer in this country. Given a good set of storylines and quality athletes and competition and you can create a good fans base. Major League Soccer has that and it does continue to make headway into the "major" sport territory. Look at the recent TV contract signed by ESPN and FSC to PAY MLS for televising their league. This is while hockey (an easy target) is on the Outdoor Life Network and the NBA Finals just recently posted their lowest TV ratings in a long time. Myself, like my other fellow sports watchers, have plenty of room to give credit where credit is due in many, many sports. We're Americans... we watch sports... whether poker or curling or dodgeball... we make room.

I'm trying to understand, I really am, why Beckham should matter to sweat-sport Americans hardwired for the NFL, MLB, the NBA and, just to be polite, the NHL. So I ask longtime friend, soccer psycho, and Los Angeles Times sportswriter Christine Daniels to give me one good reason to care about the arrival of Dave and Spice wife.

Some background: Daniels has covered three World Cups and four Olympic soccer tournaments, watches way too much Fox Soccer Channel and Gol! TV, played stopper in her weekly league and now manages the team, picks up World Soccer at the newsstand, has a crush on Tony Adams, considers Nick Hornby's "Fever Pitch" the greatest sports book since "Ball Four," and will happily burn you a CD with Morrissey's "Your Arsenal" on it.

OK, he brings in a soccer reporter. Let's see what she has to say. I'll give her five good minutes.

Daniels has pitch cred. I don't.

Clearly.

David Beckham may not be the player he was, but he's still plenty dangerous.
But thanks to ESPN Research, I know the Beckham basics: Made his pro debut with Manchester United in 1993 ... supposed savior of English soccer ... first and only player in England soccer history to score in three different World Cups ... led Man U to wins in the Premier League, FA Cup and Champions League, in the same season ... Google search favorite ... signed LA Galaxy contract that, with endorsements and merchandising, could be worth $250 million ... married to Victoria Adams ... friends with Tomkat (Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes).

OK, I can identify with the athlete/celebrity wife thing. This is like when Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones came to the LA Kings, right?

"No, bigger," says Daniels. "The difference is, Gretzky was at his peak. Beckham is past his prime."

Beckham bashing good start. I can see that is is not going to be a good defense of soccer. Looks like Mr. Funny-Name hunted down a soccer "expert" to help make his point.

She goes on to say that the Galaxy wants Beckham to play center midfielder, which is meant for playmaking, attacking types. Think Steve Nash in soccer cleats (Nash actually was the British Columbia high school player of the year). Problem is, Beckham is too slow, too small and not strong enough with the ball for center mid.

"He's best at outside mid because he has a great right foot," says Daniels. "He's great at setting up teammates, when he has time. He's not great at setting up his own shot. But on set pieces, dead-ball pieces, he has a great, special talent for putting it on a head, curving it around the wall. That translates to [TV] highlights."

Daniels actually has a good point here. Beckham is an outside mid kind of guy. I hope that coach will see that soon enough. But just-in-case he doesn't figure it out I'd Beckham sometime to make the center his own. The great thing about Beckham is not that he's the best player on the field at all times, but he is usually the hardest working. I don't want anyone to tell me that when he's on the field for England or Real Madrid or, soon, the Galaxy he's not going to go 110%. So if he finds himself in the middle of the park, he'll adapt and do what he can there. Plus, soccer is a fluid game he'll make his way to the right side of the pitch from time-to-time and back to the middle again.

Got it. Bend it like Beckham.

Daniels says Beckham is one of the most recognized and popular sports figures in the world.

"He's an interesting character," she says. "Old-time England greats would have slit their throats if they saw him: a metrosexual guy who wears sarongs, makeup and is married to a Spice Girl. He was initially hated in England."

Daniels goes into a detailed explanation about Beckham's getting a red card against Argentina, then something about breaking his foot, then something else about nonchalanting it in a game against Brazil. She tells me about a penalty kick Beckham airmailed against Portugal, how he was a semi-flop with Real Madrid, and how he lost his captaincy and his place on the England national team until team officials got desperate and asked him back.

Just before I nod off, I ask Daniels where she would rank Beckham among the world's best players. Top 10? Top 20?

Another cheap shot by a cheap shit by "nodding off". His description of Beckham's trials and tribulations over the last few years don't do the story justice. He fails to mention Beckham's work for ManU and their treble which is a career highlight in anyone's book (especially since how much American sports writers love to talk about dynasties), misses the mark on Beckham's Argentina redemption, Brazil was a tough break, but the broken foot was still working him over. The Portugal PK in Euro 2004 was an embarrassment, but no mention of his contributions in Germany 2006 (minus the injury and crying), "semi-flop" for Real Madrid and England captaincy/roster spot is mistaken because his re-inclusion in both sides helped resurrect each to league title for the former and back on track for Euro qualifying for the latter. Gene ("Can I call you Gene?") cherry picks Beckham's career lowlights to make him sound like a dumbass. Its not that I'm a Beckham lover, but at least give the guy a fair shake. If he mentioned a more complete story there might be a chance one of his readers might respect Beckham.

"He wouldn't be in the top 50 soccer players in the world right now," she says. "Maybe just at 50."

"And the MLS -- what kind of league is that?" I ask.

"The MLS is Triple-A baseball compared to the major leagues," she says. "It used to be Double-A."

Daniels is clearly a Euro-snob. Yeah MLS isn't as good as European, but a 11 years old I'd give it sometime. I'm sure the FA was real worried about the quality of football in the early 1900s when it was the same age at MLS. And maybe Beckham isn't going to place in the top 50 when it comes down to nickels and dimes, but he still is an influential player. Real Madrid still wanted him to stay, several English clubs wanted to sign him, and England has re-called him to the NATIONAL TEAM which means coach Steve McClaren thinks he's one of the top 18 players in England.

"So let me get this straight: he won't have Gretzky's impact, he's not one of the top 50 players in the world anymore, and the MLS isn't an elite league," I say. "This sounds like Michael Jordan going over to England to play hoops-now."

"That's a good way of putting it," she says.

"So why do I care about this guy again?"

Long pause.

"I'm not doing a very good job selling this, am I?" Daniels says.

No, you're not. As a "fan of the game" its crucial that when some jack-ass asks you to defend the sport and its players you should reflexively do it. I don't care what you personally think about Beckham or MLS in general its necessary to not let the "mainstream" sports columnist pen another "soccer sucks" article. Giving him these sorts of quotes only makes the sport look bush league. Have a little self respect.

But she recovers.

"He's insanely popular," Daniels says. "Part of it is the connection to Posh, and part of it is the way other cultures and countries look at him. He's kind of this little elf. He's not an oaf. He's like one of the Beatles. The English media, grudgingly, is infatuated with him. He has this reputation as an effete, airheaded, say-nothing guy. But I had a 30-minute interview with him about two years ago and he was soft-spoken, but intelligent."

Beckham does have star-power and that was a huge reason to bring him state-side along with his soccer talent. I just got this week's Sports Illustrated in the mail and Beckham is the cover boy. MLS just raised its profile another notch. Either way you shake it MLS is in the spotlight now. Whether Beckham succeeds or not is inconsequential to whether those who come to the stadiums come back for other games. He might flop, but more important than the man is the WHOLE product that he and the league is selling.

The MLS needs something. Adu was supposed to be the league's Beckham, but that was wishful thinking. So now the Galaxy hires the original, but with the high mileage on the original Beckham equipment. Worse yet, who knows how many Galaxy games he'll miss while playing for the England national team.

Adu is having a mini-renaissance so give him some time. Like I said, Beckham will give 110% no matter the wear on his parts. There's a reason people hold on to pickup trucks and Hondas its because old age doesn't mean less dependable. And lastly, for a guy who wasn't giving two shits about soccer and Beckham now he's delving into the will-Beckham-be-available-panic in regards to national duty? Give me a break.

For old time's sake, I'm going to give Daniels -- and Beckham -- the benefit of the doubt. But I've got a bad feeling that six months from now we're going to be asking, "Beckham who?" and "Beckham why?"

This whole article hasn't given Beckham -- or soccer -- the benefit of the doubt. It has been a broadside against the man and the sport mascarading as an inquiry piece. I can see Mr. Wojciechowski writing the obituary for MLS ten years ago asking the same questions that he might soon ask of Beckham. Now more than ever I want the sport and Beckham to succeed. Only if to have "mainstream" sports writers eat all the shit they've served up on us soccer fans after all these years.

All Time 11 and Then Some

2007-07-10T00:05:00.000-05:00

Jon and Max are back to bring you more amusing insight on the world of Football after an extended and unwanted break. Hear about the All Time 11 and Not So 11 and their takes on the Under 20 World Cup. And we promise, NO Man United talk...for today. Cheers. Stay tuned for Seven Guys Short Radio's first off site podcast, it will be a doosie.

Were Back Bitches

2007-07-06T19:09:00.000-05:00

Whats up lady's and gents! Jon here, and I am back in business after a month of technical difficulties and conflicting schedules to bring you all that is US in the past month. Check me out on the podcast as I break down the 2007 Gold Cup, 2007 Copa America (what a shitter), and finally the Baby Nats turning the heads of all the Cunucks in the 2007 U-20 World Cup. Sidebar, good luck tonight against Brazil, kick their asses. Stay tuned for more on the podcast, and on the blog now that I am fully connected to the WWW.

Cheers,

Jon

USMNT Kit

2007-06-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

Someone put out a slide show documenting all of the previous renditions of the USMNT uniforms, or at least the ones of note, and then bemoaned the current kit and the lack of an identity for the USMNT. Since I am an avid kit-nerd I think it’s about time I weigh in on this subject.

- First off, kudos to Nike for not making each of the teams that wore their gear at the 2006 World Cup look the same. You just came up trumps again in your ongoing battle with Adidas for world, or just soccer kit, supremacy.

Adidas’s latest line had one kit that I think looks respectable, and that is the one that Germany, France, Columbus Crew, Chicago Fire, Real Salt Lake, etc. etc. (and onto oblivion with etc.) all wear. Their other attempt at a kit was laughable at best, see Spain, DC United, New England Revolution, Chivas USA, etc. and etc. and some more etc. The DC United kit for some reason has an hour glass shape to it, making the players look like their wearing shirts tapered specifically for the female form. Lastly there is the kit that Mexico is currently adorning in the Copa America, and wore in the Gold Cup, which has little red slashes that make players like Cuauhtemec Blanco look fatter than they already are.

Nike’s latest line, or at least the one unveiled for the World Cup, made each of the eight teams look distinct. While there may be only 3 or 4 truly different kits, Nike was intelligent enough to make them look more unique than Adidas did. True enough, both companies change the color schemes for each nation, but for some reason Nike’s wares stood out as more unique this time around.

I digress…..back to the US kits.

- Secondly, I like the new USMNT kits. I think going back to the ’96 design for the navy away kit was an excellent way to come full circle in the decade Nike has been in charge of the USMNT. The white kit is clean and classic, though the over sized crest took a while to grow on me. Some say we look like England in it, I say I am my father’s son.

The stripes on the shorts are misplaced, they should be on the back of the right leg, and the stripes on the one sock should either be on the front or the back, not somewhere in between. Other than that nitpicking I would say this is the first US kit, since the ’96 and ’98 efforts that I would actually purchase (note: I did buy the ’04 kit with the circled numbers on the chest, but that was more because I was at the Mexico game in Columbus where we clinched out berth in Germany. Note2: The USMNT kit is on sale at www.soccer.com but don’t all rush over there right away I want to make sure there’s still one for me) In fact, I like this design so much, I think we should stick with it for a while. This would help build some recognition and stability in design, which is always a bonus for consumers, and will help begin to build an identity for the Nats. Ok, it’d be a shallow part of the identity, but identity none-the-less. Someone complained that we don’t have a recognizable shirt, well now we will because I said so.

- Third, we do need a red kit, the Don’t Tread On Me kit was a good effort, now let’s build on that.

Nike, think about this for just one second: I would say there’s probably somewhere between 2500-5000 supporters of the US who consider themselves part of Sam’s Army (just a ballpark figure). What color does Sam’s Army wear? Red. And as Seven Guys Short’s recent exploits at the Gold Cup semi-finals showed, that red can be a mixed bag. Dan wore a Liverpool jersey, while Derek wore just a plain red shirt, I wore a “Don’t Tread” t-shirt, and most just wore blue or white US jerseys. I’m not complaining but I think the marketing brain trust at Nike will get where I’m headed with this. Give us a red third jersey and you have instant sales, without the boys even having to wear it more than every once in a while.

I liked the fact that the Don’t Tread jersey for the send-off series was red, but it was too dark of a red (maybe that was only when it was soaked with sweat) which meant the navy blue just blended in. I was not a fan of the “sash” stripes, so lets redesign the damn thing, place the real crest on there and call it our third kit. I’m thinking for starters we just take the white kit and make it red, switch the red stripe for a white one, and ta-da a baby step in the right direction. And for Nike instant $$$$$.

- Fourth, some suggest that we go with solid color schemes. I disagree, solid color schemes a boring. I like the blue shorts with white shirts and vice versa, plus it gives us the option to go with the solid scheme when playing teams with odd kit color combinations.

- Lastly, the Royal Blue with pinstripes is awful, it looks like a pajama set that your mom got for your dad for Christmas but put yours and your sister's name on it. Though it did grow on me a little during the Argentina game. I’m not against pinstripes, and I’m not against royal blue, but not for the US. Taking a non-traditional color is what third kit is all about, in soccer at least, but we already have three wonderful colors to choose from, why not stick with those. Plus the pinstripes make me kind of dizzy when watching someone actually running around in it. I say leave the pinstripes to the mobsters and their three-piece suits.

P.S. Sorry for the overload on LannyCakes pictures, but he's the poster child for soccer in this country.

Photos courtesy of others, found on Google.com and USSoccer.com

Transfers, Transfers, Transfers!!!!!

2007-06-25T19:00:00.000-05:00

The song of the day today is ‘Walking Contradiction’ by Green Day with backup vocals by Thierry Henry.

“Gunner for Life” Thierry Henry is moving to Barcelona.

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but when you say “Gunner for Life” doesn’t that mean you’re going to stay there for the rest of your career??? As disappointed as I am that I won’t be able to watch the mercurial talent of Henry in the English Premiership this coming fall, it is about time he moved on. There have been rumors of this transfer for the last two to three seasons, but Arsenal was somehow able to hang onto him. The Gunners are in a state of rebuilding, focusing on youth and the future, which leaves little room for a 30 year old forward who wishes to win the Champions League. Arsenal have always been brilliant at churning out new talent and staying competitive, but they’ve always had Henry’s class to lead the lines and bag a crucial goal or 30. Who is going to lead the way for this young team? Last year Gilberto just didn’t have the presence that Henry, and Viera before him, had on the team. Who is going to score all the goals? Robin van Persie is a great talent, but he’s not going to get the same amount of freedom with Henry gone. Emmanuel Adabayor (sp?) seems to be coming along nicely, but I don’t see him producing more than 15 goals a season, especially now that defenses can focus even more on him.

I’m left wondering if Henry’s move to Spain will be the final nail in the Arsenal coffin. Sure, Wenger might stick around through the end of the season, but when this squad doesn’t make the Champion’s League next season (‘08-‘09) he’ll be gone. Within two or three years I predict we’ll see a relapse into the boring, boring Arsenal of the early 90’s. Here’s to the death of REAL footie being played in England.

Elsewhere in England, Manchester United pipped everyone to their summer signings, making them official the day the window opened. To everyone here at Seven Guys Short’s surprise, they chose to go with some speedy Portuguese winger/strikers. Probably hoping for the same return on investment that Christiano Ronaldo has delivered. I’m not sure what the wily old SAF has up his sleeve, but I (and Jon and Max) thought that United were in need of a target player, with some size, that Wayne Rooney and Ronaldo could play off of. Not diminutive speedsters. Is SAF going senile and forgetting how well Louis Saha has performed in the last season? Oh well, bygones.

Chelsea have apparently been turned into a legitimate business operation: Roman Abromavich has mandated that Chelsea will not just abuse his truckloads of cash like their fossil fuels anymore. I’m not positive about this one, but I think he was quoted as saying that he wanted the club to start turning a profit on its own and stop relying on his financial backing. Uh, Roman, that’s a great long term goal, but the key to successful goal setting is to set reachable, realistic, attainable goals. So, let’s say you shoot for breaking even. Wait, that’s not even realistic, aim for only being in the red by $50 million pounds this year.

In Germany, Bayern Munich is apparently attempting to field a team of the ugliest SOBs in the world of soccer. In news that isn’t really news anymore, Franc Ribery and Luca Toni have moved to the Bavarian giants. Meaning that at one time they could have on the field: Toni, Ribery, cro-magnum men Oliver Kahn and Lucio, Willy Sagnol, and el raton Roy Makaay. All they’d need for a goofy mother f*@#er all-star team is monkey boy Wayne Rooney and the gap toothed Brazilian transvestite Ronaldinho.

This got me thinking, what is the ugliest starting eleven I could possibly imagine? Please leave us your comments, and we'll post the winning XI by the end of the week.

I jest only because I would trade just about anything to have the talent of these gentlemen.

Quick words about the final

2007-06-24T20:58:00.000-05:00

I just finished watching the game (I recorded it because I had to go into job #2 today for the regular Sunday dose of BS), and all I can say is....WOW!!!

Mexico looked the better of the two teams for most of the game, but the US held strong, especially the defense and Timmy.

The Baby Nats were unable, again, to put Mexico on ice with a couple of second half chances that deserved much better finishing.

As I watched 'Los lift that huge absurd looking trophy I caught myself thinking that it should be a more recognizable player hoisting it. It would've been great to see someone like Captain America, Claudio Reyna, pick up the hardware; ya know, just someone who is the heart and soul of the team. But, then I realized that these are the Baby Nats, and there really isn't one player who is the heart and soul of the team. Sure Landon Donovan (I use his real name when he plays well; and to be honest, he's grown on me a little this tournament. Kind of like a kid brother does.) and DaMarcus Beasley are the motors that keep the team going at 90 miles an hour, but they both lack the leadership qualities that Claudio possessed. I for one think Donovan played much better without the added weight of the armband. The point I'm trying to get at here is that our national team is in a stage of its development where we don't have the figurehead captain, hell we can switch to the rec-league rotational policy. Watching them begin their lap of honor around Soldier Field, a song came into my head. It's not one that most will know, as I have had to acquire it by illegal means, but I believe its refrain fit our leadership conundrum quite perfectly.

"And it just doesn't get any better,
there isn't a captain, there's only a crew;
The storms that weather together,
the places we've been and the things that we do."

And one of the verses fits quite nicely too:

"We travel and travel and start to unravel,
chewing up pavement and spitting out gravel;
Sometimes the shit hits the fan,
and sometimes the shit it gets way out of hand;
Sure it's berserk but it beats honest work,
and it's great work to get if you can!"

- Dickey Barret and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones "Pirate Ship"

All photos courtesy of ussoccer.com, and whomever they get them from

USA Tops Mexico in Gold Cup Final

2007-06-24T20:15:00.000-05:00

Landon Donovan and Benny Feilhaber scored in the come from behind 2-1 victory.

Here's the game story from FoxSoccer.com:

In the unfamiliar spot of playing from behind, U.S. coach Bob Bradley told his players at halftime they were going to have to win a little differently.

The United States wins its fourth Gold Cup title with a 2-1 victory over Mexico. Hear from Benny Feilhaber and goalkeeper Tim Howard after the match.
Same game plan, different game plan. When it comes to playing Mexico lately, it doesn't seem to matter.

Landon Donovan scored his 34th career goal, tying Eric Wynalda atop the career list, and Benny Feilhaber connected with a gorgeous volley to rally the United States to a 2-1 victory over Mexico on Sunday in the final of the CONCACAF Gold Cup, the championship of North and Central America and the Caribbean.

"Awesome. Awesome," said Donovan, who still wore his champions medal when he left the locker room. "We haven't played that way, haven't played down a goal. Bob said it's going to be a different kind of win and I'm proud of us, because that's not easy."

The victory extended the Americans' dominance over their neighbors to the south and gave the United States a berth in the 2009 Confederations Cup in South Africa, an important tuneup ahead of the 2010 World Cup. The United States is 9-2-1 against Mexico since 2000, including 8-0-1 on U.S. soil.

They've won in cities where they truly were the home team, and places where they may as well have been the guests. Like Sunday, when almost the entire crowd of 60,000 at Soldier Field was wearing green.

Mexico at least managed a goal this time, snapping a streak of eight straight shutouts in the United States. Jose Andres Guardado's goal in the 44th minute was El Tri's first on U.S. soil in 797 minutes.

"They deserve to the No. 1 team in CONCACAF," Mexican striker Cuauhtemoc Blanco said. "They played well, but we had a number of chances. We just didn't take advantage of our opportunities."

Like in the 89th minute, when Adolfo Bautista came up with a loose ball in front of the U.S. goal. He took a shot from close range, but goalkeeper Tim Howard reached up as he was falling and punched the ball free to preserve the win.

After the final whistle, the Americans ran over to Sam's Army - really more of a platoon - to salute the small contingent of U.S. fans. Donovan tossed his shirt into the stands, then grabbed a U.S. flag that a fan tossed and wrapped it around his shoulders.

This is the fourth Gold Cup title for the Americans, tying them with Mexico. It also kept Bradley's undefeated record intact at 10-0-1. Bradley took over as interim coach after Bruce Arena was let go after the World Cup, and was given the job permanently May 16.

"Each competition, we talk about what it takes to become a really good team," Bradley said. "We're very excited about the fact we can get stronger as a group and win this. It means a lot to all of us."

His task gets tougher Thursday, when he leads a U.S. team without most of its regular starters against Argentina at the Copa America, South America's championship.

"Once again you saw today ... we did it the hard way," said goalkeeper Kasey Keller, one of the few veterans going to Venezuela. "If we want to beat the teams we're playing against away from home, we need to do these little things. Because against Argentina, I doubt we're going to have two chances to put the game away."

The Americans traditionally jump out to a lead, and then use their aggressive, counterattacking style to brush back any offensive charges. Not Sunday. This time it was the Mexicans who were the aggressors early on, taking the lead and making the Americans look lethargic.

But they got a break in the 60th minute, when Brian Ching was tripped up in the box by Jose Jonny Magallon. Compared to some of the other rough-and-tumble antics Sunday, this was pretty tame.

But it was all Donovan needed.

Donovan, the U.S. player Mexican fans most love to boo, took a slow jog to the ball and gave it a light kick. Mexico goalie Oswaldo Sanchez started to move to his right then hesitated, and that split second was enough to cost him any chance of getting to the ball, which hit the right corner of the net. It was Donovan's fourth goal of the tournament, all on penalty kicks.

As his teammates mobbed him, Donovan wiped his brow as if to say, "That was a relief."

"It's awesome. I'm proud of it, certainly," Donovan said of matching Wynalda. "I'm more happy we won the game."

The goal seemed to loosen up all of the Americans.

Ten minutes later, Donovan took a corner kick that was flicked clear by a Mexican defender. But the ball went right to Feilhaber, who scored on a perfect right-footed volley from 22 yards out for his second goal in eight international appearances.

"I knew it as soon as I hit it it was going in," Feilhaber said. "It's a great goal, at such a stage, against Mexico, in the Gold Cup. Unbelievable."

The score could have been even more lopsided. In the final 15 minutes, Ching banged a shot off the post and DaMarcus Beasley hit the crossbar after a perfect cross from Donovan on a breakaway hit him in the shin.

It was Mexico doing the counterattacking early, pushing and shoving and playing the Americans' kind of game. It worked, too. After struggling to finish several early chances, Nery Castillo beat Oguchi Onyewu and crossed to Guardado in front of the box in the 44th minute.

Guardado had been left unmarked and was all alone by the left post. As Howard slipped, Guardado poked the ball into the goal with his left foot, setting off a frenzied celebration on the field and in the stands.

"When you lose doing what we did, you can't be sad," Mexico coach Hugo Sanchez said. "It bothers me, sure. But when you look at how we did in the tournament, we got a lot better and we deserved a better result. Sometimes the team that plays better doesn't always win."

Nick's-Eye-View of the US-Canada semifinal

2007-06-23T17:51:00.000-05:00

Dan, our friend The D, and I were lucky enough to get tickets to the Gold Cup semi-finals, and I say lucky because it appears every Mexican and Mexican-American in the Chicago area bought most of the tickets. The official attendance for the two games was 50,790 and let me tell you there were only about 790 people there who weren’t wearing green and white. Hopefully someday in my lifetime I’ll be able to go to a USMNT game and be part of the majority of supporters, even if it’s at a small SSS like Columbus Crew Stadium or Toyota Park. It was amazing to hear 50,000 Mexicans, I’m assuming that they’re all Mexicans since they were all supporting Mexico, sing their national anthem and cheer their team on. And now, my main points of the match and experience at the game...

Bob Bradley put out an interesting lineup to start this game.

Deuce was once again up front as the withdrawn striker, this time backing up Eddie, I-still-haven’t-regained-my-Grown-Ass-Man-form, Johnson. This combination was extremely frustrating to watch, granted the rest of the US wasn’t playing well on the whole, but EJ and Deuce failed to get really get involved. Aside from a few offsides calls against Johnson, and one or two nice touches from Deuce our forward line was absent.
Landon was again playing out on the right, to start the game, where he was effective, but not great.

The problem with Donovan on the right side is that he doesn’t use his speed in the same manner that a true right-sided player would, as he tends to drift into the middle and lett Hejduk make the bombarding runs down the sideline. In the second half, when Landon switched with Deuce, the US started to look more and more like themselves. Even though they weren’t able to string the right passes together to score, they were able to occasionally create some imposing possession (when Canada allowed them to play with the ball that is). I’ll throw Lanny a bone here, he played decently in the second half, and at times tried to carry the team on his back by taking on the Canucks on his own (EJ was running around, but without real purpose), something a captain would do, but he just wasn’t able to do it this time. Here’s to hoping he steps his game up to another level, perhaps one we haven’t seen yet, on Sunday against his favorite opponent Mexico.

The Pablo-Mikey combination in the middle of the park is something I’m not too big a fan of. Granted it was effective, to a point, but when two ball winning midfielders pair up in the center, the US loses its way. (For examples of US futility with two ball winning midfielders paired up, see the game against Mexico from September, 2005 and the one from February, 2007. In the September game Reyna and Armas teamed up to shut Mexico down, and it was extremely effective, but the US wasn’t able to create any sustained pressure on offense. In the February game Mastroeni and Ricardo Clark were in the center of the field, and that game was woefully one-sided. The US won both of these games by a 2-0 score line, but contrary to what the score line suggests, there wasn’t any offense by the US.) Mikey does have the offensive presence that Pablo so dearly lacks, but he’s either not given enough freedom to push the team forward, or he’s incapable, either way he’s not offensive minded enough to pair with Mastroeni.

That being said, he played well in the first half and he started to fall off the pace and lose the plot a little in the second half, but who on the US team didn’t. His sending off was a very rash and immature challenge, I’m worried Mastroeni is rubbing off on him a little too much. While the US team will miss him in the Final, I’m excited for the Pablo-Benny (or Mikey-Benny) combination, which on paper looks to be more of what the US needs to create the sustained offensive pressure we need.

Can someone please explain to me why Jonathan Bornstein is still getting the nod over Spector, and Simek? Bornstein has the pace and the offensive guile that we love in our fullbacks, but his defensive abilities and distribution of the ball (especially on the crosses) were exposed on Thursday to be marginal at best. I’m not guaranteeing that Simek or Spector will step in and make Bornstein look like child playing a man’s game, but they should be given the chance to display their wares too.

Gooch, what is there to say about you? There were times in this game where the big man actually looked like he might be starting to regain the form that made him a fan favorite, and I say starting as in taking baby-steps. Though, there were also times where he failed to inspire any confidence, and looked like a good jayvee team would’ve picked him apart. Hopefully getting the chance to play kissy face with Borgetti again snaps him out of the Newcastle doldrums he’s been in for the last 6 months.

Frankie Hejduk will be sorely missed in the final, though it is the type of flashpoint game where he could get himself sent off quite easily, but he has been the heart and soul of the US team in this tournament. Even though his skills on the ball are well below most on the team, his grittiness and never say die attitude have kept this team going. When I say grittiness, I’m not talking about the gnat at a barbeque that you typically find in soccer players, I’m talking about rough grade sandpaper on an exposed nerve. I’ve been wondering aloud, and quite loudly at that what Hejduk was still doing wearing the red, white, and blue, but after the game on Thursday I am left with no doubt as to what Bob Bradley and Bruce Arena saw in the surfer.

The officiating was atrocious, again.

I’m watching the game on replay right now, and Iain Hume and Dewayne DeRosario are lucky to still be playing. The foul that Hejduk committed, which means that he’ll miss the final, on DeRosario was deserving of a yellow card; however, according to the rules of the game DeRo’s retaliatory head-butt deserved more than a yellow. Iain Hume was the sparkplug that Canada needed to re-engage in the game, but if the referee and the 4th official had been paying any attention he would’ve received a yellow for the cheap shot on Pablo, and then another for kicking out at Gooch while using him as a stair-stepper.

Also, the ref didn’t seem to see things equally for both sides, if a US player bumped a Canadian a foul was called, whereas if a Canadian player planted an American into the turf it was ‘play-on’. Lastly, the offsides call that denied Canada their tying goal, was one of the worst calls I’ve ever seen. As someone who has never read the rule book but knows that if a defender touches the ball, the offside offense becomes null and void. So, Canada should’ve been level and the game should’ve gone to extra time.

A counterpoint to the Canadian argument is: the fourth official did not present the amount of stoppage time (4 minutes) until a minute into stoppage time, and the goal came at 4:10 into stoppage time, so the goal shouldn’t have ever happened, if the ref had stuck to his stoppage time estimate.

Canada definitely didn’t deserve to go out the way they did, but as someone famous once said “[Soccer] can be the most gracious lady, but it can also be the biggest bitch.” With Canada’s play in this tournament one would have to wonder if the Gold Cup and Copa America shouldn’t combine forces and create a super tournament. This would allow the Canucks to get a fair shot at qualifying for the Copa, instead of waiting for the US or Mexico to turn down the invitation. I for one am not looking forward to playing Canada in the CONCACAF hexagonal (last round of World Cup qualifying) in 2009.

Again, it's time for a combined tournament for CONCACAF and CONMEBOL.

On the topic of the Super Copa, qualifying could be similar to the Euros, with 50 member nations in the western hemisphere you could seed the teams (I would prefer that they didn’t, just to give the little guys a shot) and form 10 groups of 5, with the top teams qualifying for the tournament, the two best second place teams would automatically qualify, and then the remaining eight second place teams would face a two legged play off with the four winners rounding out the field of 16. Just throwing some ideas out there. With 10 groups of 5, each team would only play eight qualifying games, thus not chewing up a lot of the players’ time with a ton of extra matches.

Sam's Army

Sitting in the Sam's Army section was quite fun. Being around like-minded supporters instead of families with 3 year olds was nice, I didn't have to censor myself as much as normal. Though, the army does need to come up with a few new chants and songs. I did hear one that was quite clever, it's called Esta Triste, which means It's Sad. It goes to the tune of Oh my darlin' Clemintine. Basically it taunts the Mexican fans about the time we beat them 2-0 in the World Cup. Other than that one the chants were the same tired renditions of USA-USA.

If anyone out there has a musically creative bone in their body, please come up with some simple and creative songs that The Army can sing while enjoying the games. Note: make them to tunes that everyone knows and can instantly follow along with, and the more they make fun of Mexico the better, but be somewhat respectful (no more "mow my lawn" chants).

Hopefully my VCR cooperates with me tomorrow and I can record the game (damn second job to pay for cable is interrupting my cable watching).

GO USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gold Cup LIVE!

2007-06-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

"Seven Guys Short" is sending two of its top reporters to the Gold Cup semi-finals in Chicago tonight. Nick and Dan will be hanging out with Sam's Army for the first semi cheering on the "Baby Nats" against Canada. Then they'll stick around to boo Mexico versus small-fries Guadeloupe (what??? It's a small French territory in the Caribbean).

We'll have pics, match analysis, and hopefully a place in the finals after its all over.

Here's a match preview from the Sam's Army website by David Rice:

After the U.S. was able to dispose of Panama last Saturday with a 2-1 victory and seal their place in the semi-final, they now play their toughest opponent yet in Canada. So, with their biggest test on the horizon what should we expect to see from the Americans?

One thing is for sure, if the Americans are going get to the final with ease they're going to have to capitalize on opportunities better. Missed chances, like what we saw against Panama, in particular Clint Dempsey's late scoring chance to make it 3-0, are going to have to turn into goals for the U.S. to beat an offensive minded Canadian team. Coming into the game the Canadians have outscored their opponents 9-2 in this Gold Cup and boast a roster with a slew of successful professionals that includes MLS all-star Dwayne De Rosario.

"It's going to be tough," U.S. defender Carlos Bocanegra said. "We know we have to watch De Rosario, he can create a lot of opportunities for them. We're going to watch game film and prepare in practice and I know we'll be ready for them."

Canada coming off a 3-0 victory over a Guatemalan team that the U.S. could only manage one goal against in it's last two meetings poses a big threat for the American defense and will undoubtedly give keeper Tim Howard his most challenging test of this Gold Cup.

Howard and the U.S. defense have only allowed one goal in this Gold Cup. That goal in Saturday's win ended the American's 254 minute streak without giving up a goal. Howard's play has been exceptional but with Ali Gerba, De Rosario and Julien de Guzman composing a trio of Canada's most powerful weapons, Howard will need all the help that Bocanegra, Onyewu and the rest of that back line can muster up.

With the U.S. playing as well as they have Canada is no doubt looking at their most difficult attempt at a Gold Cup upset since beating Mexico in the final back in 2000. As the Canucks attempt to do their part to recreate a rematch of that 2000 final, the Americans will have to be better up front to thwart their efforts.

Coming into the tournament Eddie Johnson had been red hot for his Kansas City Wizards team in MLS, but the striker hasn't seen as much playing time in the Gold Cup tournament due to an ankle injury. If he gets time in this match, look for him to capitalize just as he did in the Trinidad & Tobago match during group play. Johnson's counterparts on the American strike force, Taylor Twellman and Brian Ching have converted a low percentage of opportunities thus far but are no doubt looking for any opportunity to get on the stat sheet as well. Twellman will look to improve from the last game when he hit the post twice in the U.S. victory over Panama, as many expect him to start.

Deciding who to start in attempting to tame a potent Canadian attack will be difficult for Bob Bradley. Frankie Hejduk, given his time seeing De Rosario in MLS will most likely start at right back for Bradley over Jonathon Spector or Frank Simek. As for the American midfield, they will have to play their most defensively dominate game in this tournament. Pablo Mastroeni will need to keep an eye on Canadian mid fielder Julien de Guzman, whose speed and ability to control the ball will surely present problems for the Americans.

As for the American offense, it will be important for Demarcus Beasley to showcase his speed against a defense that lacks any kind of equivalent. He and Landon Donovan will need to create opportunities with their speed and passing abilities and hope to create something for Twellman if the Americans are going to get on the board fast.

An important factor to the U.S. attack is the set piece. If the U.S. can't capitalize on any of its set piece opportunities somewhere in the match it may be a low scoring affair, but that's okay. Considering the way the U.S. defense has played in the tournament thus far, one goal may be all the Americans need to collect a victory and await the winner of Mexico and Guadeloupe.

GO USA!!!!!!

YouTube is the Greatest Part XXXVVIIXXIII

2007-06-20T10:11:00.000-05:00

Nice!

Articles I Wish I Could've Written aka Really Good Blatently Stolen Articles: Americans are Soccer-Savvy... and that Scares Little Englanders

2007-06-20T09:46:00.000-05:00

Apparently some English people need to delude themselves about America in order to feel good.

by Steven Wells, Guardian Unlimited (UK)

David Beckham is going to the LA Galaxy. Hurrah. Let's all laugh at American soccer. Again.

Modern Englishmen are in two minds about Americans playing proper football. Some think it only right the poor benighted heathens be gifted the game historian Eric Hobsbawm rightly described as an artform. But others fear it'll make Americans more like us and therefore much more difficult to despise.

I am firmly in the former camp. Public toilets, atheism, publicly funded radio and association football - these are all things of which no society can have too much. Witness the fact that soccer-playing America is massively liberal, loving, caring, socially conscious and nice. While soccer-hating America consists of increasingly isolated gangs of Bush-supporting, bible-bashing, gun-crazed, dungaree wearing, banjo-playing, quasi-fascist chicken-lovers and their twelve fingered, pin-headed, cyclopic, drooling monster children.

Alas, Englishmen who live in desperate fear of an American soccer planet are legion. As the recent spate of stories about US businessmen buying British clubs and Goldenballs relocating to LA proved, there's no shortage of stuck up limey soccer snobs who still think it's frightfully funny the ghastly Yanks play the round ball game at all.

Like most prejudices, this hatred disguises fear. Recently a leading English soccer journalist told me he "really hopes football fails in America". Others are less blatant but they make their loathing plain through sarcasm, satire and snidery.

You know whom I'm talking about. Reader, I am about to piss on my chips. I will not only bite the hand that feeds me, I will take the arm off at the shoulder. For no one has mocked American soccer more consistently or with more vigour than the sneering, primly moustached, stiff-lipped cads of the Guardian Unlimited Sports desk.

It's always been thus. In the 1970s, when the star-studded New York Cosmos were filling stadiums during the first American soccer revolution, Roy of the Rovers found himself playing Stateside for the Pine City Pirates. Roy was appalled by the shallowness, ballyhoo and sheer incompetence of American soccer. "I thought I was going to learn something by coming to the States!" he moaned. "I didn't dream I'd have to teach them how to play the game!"

And who could forget the 2002 World Cup and Gary Lineker reading from a typically and hilariously stoopid Yank match report: "Wolff procrastinates over a sideline handpass and is ref-charged for clock abuse" and "he top-bodies the sphere into the score-bag, and Mexico have a double-negative stat!"

Oh those pig-ignorant cack-gobbed Yank wankers! How we laughed. What more confirmation could we possibly need that these gibbering, thumb-fingered mouth-breathers will never understand the beautiful game?

Of course, it turned out Gaz was reading a marvellous Guardian Unlimited spoof. Hell, I laughed. And so did Lawrence Dallaglio when he repeated the quotes the next night on a different TV show. And so did the studio audience. Which is when the penny dropped. This isn't just how Brits think Americans perceive soccer - this is how Brits need to think Americans perceive soccer. And that, actually, is a little bit sad.

During that same World Cup, before the US v Germany game, a British TV crew stopped folks in Time Square and asked them (oh hilarity!) if they even knew a game was taking place (lol!!!!!! rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!). Unfortunately almost everyone said yes. One dude in a soccer shirt even invited the reporter to watch the game with him. "We thought there was apathy," muttered a deeply disappointed Gabby Logan back in the studio.

The rest you know. The "USA!" chants at Manchester United games. The MU Rowdies gags in the Fiver, The Guardian Unlimited design-a-new-hilariously-Americanized-MUFC-crest Gallery that was then ripped off by The Sun so the whole nation could join in the yanks-don't-get-football yukfest.

Then Bex signed for the LA Galaxy-and the whole sad circus started all over again.

Trouble is, the joke tells us nothing about America or American football (or "soccer" as those crazy, propeller beanie-wearing goofballs call it!!!!!!!!!!!!). And it tells us everything about us.

We - a substantial chunk of us, anyway - are desperately scared that association football will succeed in America. That the USA will become a footballing power. That the yanks will develop a version of the beautiful game as irresistible as jazz, rock'n'roll or the amazing American language (and unless you've checked the English/American phrase books handed out to GIs in 1942, you probably have no idea how much American you speak, limey).

Why are we scared? Because as a nation we have a desperate need to feel superior to the vibrant barbarian culture that's replaced us as top global ass-kicker.

Face it, feeling superior to Americans is about all we've got left. But the list of things we actually do better than the Yanks is slim and getting slimmer. Did you know that the bastards even brew decent beer these days?

So what have we got left to be smug about? Wensleydale cheese, Ricky Gervais, Theakston Old Peculier and Helen Mirren. And, oh yeah, football.

Sorry, the Yanks get it. Not all of them. Not even most of them. But enough of them. Even if Bex bombs. Even if the MLS collapses, American soccer isn't going away.

It's time for a new joke.

The Beckham Rules

2007-06-18T20:21:00.000-05:00

When we here at 7 guys short find something written by someone else which amuses us, we like to give kudos where kudos are due.

So, here are some wonderfully, intelligently, and witty pieces of literature to peruse and comment on (to the real authors and us).

The Beckham Rules

Locker Room Pep talk

Public Service Announcement from Landon Donovan

Musings on the Gold Cup

2007-06-18T20:03:00.000-05:00

The Gold Cup group stages and Quarterfinals have drawn to a close, and what have we learned about our beloved Baby Nats?????

1.) In 3 games Bob Bradley has accomplished three things DaBruce wasn’t able to accomplish in the last two years:
a.) Get Landon Donovan to play on the right side of midfield and effectively contribute to the proceedings.
b.) Switch up the formations from game to game and even in between games to get the most out of the players at his disposal, as well as to 'turn the screws' on the opponent when necessary.
c.) Give the armband to someone else in the absence of Claudio Reyna

He accomplished 1a. and 1c. in the Guatemala, which I must say was a true stroke of genius. Having Guatemala sit with 11 behind the ball two months ago and stifling our attack, was probably one of the most frustrating games of USMNT soccer ever watched. But, putting Landon out on the right with Deuce backing up EJ made a statement to everyone, that LannyCakes wasn't going to get his way every time, and the US was going to go down swinging.

And you know what, it worked (to an extent). The US started most of their attacks from the wings where the speed of LannyCakes and Beasley could be fully utilized. Landon hustled on both sides of the ball, and his centralistic instincts created useful passes and incisive runs from out on the flank, which was something the US was missing two months ago. Donovan out on the right gave Feilhaber and Bradley the opportunity to show what they’ve got. Also Deuce got to show his versatility and flair in the withdrawn striker role, and the midfield was able to place a stranlgehold on proceedings (if only for brief spans of time). The best thing about Donovan on the right was that it gave Bradley a ton of options when making substitutions.

Which brings me to point b.; Bradley’s experimentation or versatility (use whichever term suits your fancy) with his lineup choices is a double edged sword. On the one hand it’s great that he’s out there scheming to figure out what works in which situation with which players. The bad side is that players may not be as settled as they could be if the formations were consistent. I for one am happy to see the changes, and the buccaneering style that accompanies most of them, compared to Bruce’s over reliance on the 4-5-1. It may take some time for Bradley to impose a “style” on this nation’s senior team, but he’s showing that he’s willing to try most things.

2.) DaMarcus Beasley has ankles of steel.

In the NBA it was once “en vogue” to employ the hack-a-Shaq defensive scheme, and now it appears CONCACAF soccer it applying the same logic to playing against the US. The officiating has been piss-poor at best, which is letting all of the Central American squads get away with cheap shots that wouldn’t even fly in a bar-fight. The poor guy can’t even really play the game anymore because every time he gets the ball there’s a someone there to hit him like he’s big piñata. I’m surprised the little Hispanic kids in the crowd don’t come down to the field a take a couple of pokes at him.

In all seriousness, this garage league style of fouling needs to stop, and I know we have a few in our camp who are culpable too, but it’s mainly coming from all of the Latin American nations.

3.) We lack the killer instinct, both in front of goal and as a team

Having watched all of the games up to this point, there hasn’t been one where I felt entirely comfortable with the score line. Granted, 2-0, 4-0, and 2-1 aren’t bad scorelines, but none of these games were ever truly over until the final whistle blew. The Baby Nats should take a page out of

Canada

’s book, and score three goals in the first half to put their opponent out of the game for good.

The lack of a killer instinct is most apparent in our strike force, who have squandered a number of chances. The US should’ve scored at least 4 goals in every contest, and there should’ve been at least 5 in the first half of the Panama game, but unfortunately we lost our sack in front of net. The chances that were missed by just a couple of inches are ones that I, and Bob, can probably live with; however, it’s the ones that went begging because of poor shot selection, waiting too long to pull the trigger, or cuteness that send me into fits of rage. Examples: Dempsey’s late second-half foray into the Panama box that ended with him not even getting a shot off, LannyCake’s two first half chances in the Panama game, and let’s not even get started on Taylor Twellman.

The team as a whole has also shown an inability to put the clamps on when they have the lead, against Panama was the first time that we had actually “struck while the iron was hot” and it actually gave us control of the game for about 5-10 minutes. But the boys failed to really step it up another notch and handle the pressure that everyone knew was coming from the Panamanians in the closing stages of the game.

The other half of our lack of a killer instinct comes from our defense. The boys in the back have gotten the job done, most times against the wishes of the referee, but they have not once so far inspired confidence in me. Carlos Bocanegra and Oguchi Onyewu have the ability to form an unbelievable partnership, but only if both bring their ‘A’ game, which neither one has yet.

Los has been reminding me a lot of Jeff Agoos’s performance in the 2002 World Cup, and though we did well in that tournament, this isn’t a compliment. Gooch, on the other hand, I feel is suffering mostly from a lack of confidence. The refs so far have been bad at best, but with respect to Gooch they’ve been horrible. Every opposing forward sees Onyewu as a chance to flop around on the grass to provoke a call, and probably a card, just because the guy looks like a middle linebacker, and the referees have done nothing to quash this behavior. Instead they promote it by getting whistle-happy every time the big man is near the ball. That being said, Gooch and the rest of our defenders need to get smarter about their tackling, because the zebras have shown that they are begging for a reason to let someone else lift our trophy. Onyewu also needs to work on his quickness and positioning with these smaller forwards, especially if he wants to earn that move back into the Premiership.

4.) Landon Donovan should not be taking the penalties

All three of his penalties in this tournament have been questionable at best. The first one was saved because the keeper made an incredible guess and an equally incredible save, and Landon placed it poorly, thank the lord he followed up the rebound and put that home. The retake and the one in the Panama game looked like he miss-hit both of them, which I can see miss-hitting one but not two in a row. He’s just lucky the keeper guessed the wrong way both times. I think that until Lanny can justify his continued taking of the penalties someone else should get the chance, like Deuce or Twellman, hell put Feilhaber on the spot and let him start developing the stones needed to bury a PK.

5.) Michael Bradley has almost played the word nepotism out of USMNT reporters’ lexicons.

Bradley’s choice to include his son in the team has brought cries of favoritism and nepotism; however, the play of the younger Bradley has more than justified his continued place in the lineup. He was a little shaky in the first game, but who wasn’t? His touches and passing to relieve pressure are reminiscent of Claudio Reyna’s affect on the National team, and the guy’s only 19. It’ll be scary to see what he does against kids his own age in the U-20 championships in June-July. The only thing that appears to be missing from his repertoire is the ability to take the Baby Nats on his back and drive them on to victory, but there’s still time for that.

6.) The refereeing in this tournament has been…

Abhorrent abominable, alarming, appalling, atrocious, contemptible, deplorable, depressing, detestable, dire, disgusting, distressing, dreadful, frightful, ghastly, gruesome……………(deep breath).................. harrowing, heinous, hideous, horrendous, horrible, odious, offensive, reprehensible, repulsive, revolting, shocking, terrible, unpleasant, unsightly, vile, and wretched.

Desperate Off Season Content: 2007-08 EPL Fixtures List

2007-06-14T06:35:00.000-05:00

Ha! Just trying to fill up blog space. How do I do it? Just cut and past the just released English Premier League fixture list. Wham-mo! Instant content!

All fixtures subject to change for television coverage

Saturday, 11 August 2007
Arsenal v Fulham
Aston Villa v Liverpool
Bolton v Newcastle
Chelsea v Birmingham
Derby v Portsmouth
Everton v Wigan
Man Utd v Reading
Middlesbrough v Blackburn
Sunderland v Tottenham
West Ham v Man City

Tuesday, 14 August 2007
Birmingham v Sunderland
Portsmouth v Man Utd
Reading v Chelsea
Tottenham v Everton
Wigan v Middlesbrough

Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Blackburn v Aston Villa
Fulham v Bolton
Liverpool v West Ham
Man City v Derby
Newcastle v Arsenal

Saturday, 18 August 2007
Birmingham v West Ham
Blackburn v Arsenal
Fulham v Middlesbrough
Liverpool v Chelsea
Man City v Man Utd
Newcastle v Aston Villa
Portsmouth v Bolton
Reading v Everton
Tottenham v Derby
Wigan v Sunderland

Saturday, 25 August 2007
Arsenal v Man City
Aston Villa v Fulham
Bolton v Reading
Chelsea v Portsmouth
Derby v Birmingham
Everton v Blackburn
Man Utd v Tottenham
Middlesbrough v Newcastle
Sunderland v Liverpool
West Ham v Wigan

Saturday, 1 September 2007
Arsenal v Portsmouth
Aston Villa v Chelsea
Blackburn v Man City
Bolton v Everton
Fulham v Tottenham
Liverpool v Derby
Man Utd v Sunderland
Middlesbrough v Birmingham
Newcastle v Wigan
Reading v West Ham

Saturday, 15 September 2007
Birmingham v Bolton
Chelsea v Blackburn
Derby v Newcastle
Everton v Man Utd
Man City v Aston Villa
Portsmouth v Liverpool
Sunderland v Reading
Tottenham v Arsenal
West Ham v Middlesbrough
Wigan v Fulham

Saturday, 22 September 2007
Arsenal v Derby
Aston Villa v Everton
Blackburn v Portsmouth
Bolton v Tottenham
Fulham v Man City
Liverpool v Birmingham
Man Utd v Chelsea
Middlesbrough v Sunderland
Newcastle v West Ham
Reading v Wigan

Saturday, 29 September 2007
Birmingham v Man Utd
Chelsea v Fulham
Derby v Bolton
Everton v Newcastle
Man City v Middlesbrough
Portsmouth v Reading
Sunderland v Blackburn
Tottenham v Aston Villa
West Ham v Arsenal
Wigan v Liverpool

Saturday, 6 October 2007
Arsenal v Sunderland
Aston Villa v West Ham
Blackburn v Birmingham
Bolton v Chelsea
Fulham v Portsmouth
Liverpool v Tottenham
Man Utd v Wigan
Middlesbrough v Everton
Newcastle v Man City
Reading v Derby

Saturday, 20 October 2007
Arsenal v Bolton
Aston Villa v Man Utd
Blackburn v Reading
Everton v Liverpool
Fulham v Derby
Man City v Birmingham
Middlesbrough v Chelsea
Newcastle v Tottenham
West Ham v Sunderland
Wigan v Portsmouth

Saturday, 27 October 2007
Birmingham v Wigan
Bolton v Aston Villa
Chelsea v Man City
Derby v Everton
Liverpool v Arsenal
Man Utd v Middlesbrough
Portsmouth v West Ham
Reading v Newcastle
Sunderland v Fulham
Tottenham v Blackburn

Saturday, 3 November 2007
Arsenal v Man Utd
Aston Villa v Derby
Blackburn v Liverpool
Everton v Birmingham
Fulham v Reading
Man City v Sunderland
Middlesbrough v Tottenham
Newcastle v Portsmouth
West Ham v Bolton
Wigan v Chelsea

Saturday, 10 November 2007
Birmingham v Aston Villa
Bolton v Middlesbrough
Chelsea v Everton
Derby v West Ham
Liverpool v Fulham
Man Utd v Blackburn
Portsmouth v Man City
Reading v Arsenal
Sunderland v Newcastle
Tottenham v Wigan

Saturday, 24 November 2007
Arsenal v Wigan
Birmingham v Portsmouth
Bolton v Man Utd
Derby v Chelsea
Everton v Sunderland
Fulham v Blackburn
Man City v Reading
Middlesbrough v Aston Villa
Newcastle v Liverpool
West Ham v Tottenham

Saturday, 1 December 2007
Aston Villa v Arsenal
Blackburn v Newcastle
Chelsea v West Ham
Liverpool v Bolton
Man Utd v Fulham
Portsmouth v Everton
Reading v Middlesbrough
Sunderland v Derby
Tottenham v Birmingham
Wigan v Man City

Saturday, 8 December 2007
Aston Villa v Portsmouth
Blackburn v West Ham
Bolton v Wigan
Chelsea v Sunderland
Everton v Fulham
Man Utd v Derby
Middlesbrough v Arsenal
Newcastle v Birmingham
Reading v Liverpool
Tottenham v Man City

Saturday, 15 December 2007
Arsenal v Chelsea
Birmingham v Reading
Derby v Middlesbrough
Fulham v Newcastle
Liverpool v Man Utd
Man City v Bolton
Portsmouth v Tottenham
Sunderland v Aston Villa
West Ham v Everton
Wigan v Blackburn

Saturday, 22 December 2007
Arsenal v Tottenham
Aston Villa v Man City
Blackburn v Chelsea
Bolton v Birmingham
Fulham v Wigan
Liverpool v Portsmouth
Man Utd v Everton
Middlesbrough v West Ham
Newcastle v Derby
Reading v Sunderland

Wednesday, 26 December 2007
Birmingham v Middlesbrough
Chelsea v Aston Villa
Derby v Liverpool
Everton v Bolton
Man City v Blackburn
Portsmouth v Arsenal
Sunderland v Man Utd
Tottenham v Fulham
West Ham v Reading
Wigan v Newcastle

Saturday, 29 December 2007
Birmingham v Fulham
Chelsea v Newcastle
Derby v Blackburn
Everton v Arsenal
Man City v Liverpool
Portsmouth v Middlesbrough
Sunderland v Bolton
Tottenham v Reading
West Ham v Man Utd
Wigan v Aston Villa

Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Arsenal v West Ham
Aston Villa v Tottenham
Blackburn v Sunderland
Bolton v Derby
Fulham v Chelsea
Liverpool v Wigan
Man Utd v Birmingham
Middlesbrough v Man City
Newcastle v Everton
Reading v Portsmouth

Saturday, 12 January 2008
Arsenal v Birmingham
Aston Villa v Reading
Bolton v Blackburn
Chelsea v Tottenham
Derby v Wigan
Everton v Man City
Man Utd v Newcastle
Middlesbrough v Liverpool
Sunderland v Portsmouth
West Ham v Fulham

Saturday, 19 January 2008
Birmingham v Chelsea
Blackburn v Middlesbrough
Fulham v Arsenal
Liverpool v Aston Villa
Man City v West Ham
Newcastle v Bolton
Portsmouth v Derby
Reading v Man Utd
Tottenham v Sunderland
Wigan v Everton

Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Arsenal v Newcastle
Bolton v Fulham
Derby v Man City
Middlesbrough v Wigan
Sunderland v Birmingham
West Ham v Liverpool

Wednesday, 30 January 2008
Aston Villa v Blackburn
Chelsea v Reading
Everton v Tottenham
Man Utd v Portsmouth

Saturday, 2 February 2008
Birmingham v Derby
Blackburn v Everton
Fulham v Aston Villa
Liverpool v Sunderland
Man City v Arsenal
Newcastle v Middlesbrough
Portsmouth v Chelsea
Reading v Bolton
Tottenham v Man Utd
Wigan v West Ham

Saturday, 9 February 2008
Arsenal v Blackburn
Aston Villa v Newcastle
Bolton v Portsmouth
Chelsea v Liverpool
Derby v Tottenham
Everton v Reading
Man Utd v Man City
Middlesbrough v Fulham
Sunderland v Wigan
West Ham v Birmingham

Saturday, 23 February 2008
Birmingham v Arsenal
Blackburn v Bolton
Fulham v West Ham
Liverpool v Middlesbrough
Man City v Everton
Newcastle v Man Utd
Portsmouth v Sunderland
Reading v Aston Villa
Tottenham v Chelsea
Wigan v Derby

Saturday, 1 March 2008
Arsenal v Aston Villa
Birmingham v Tottenham
Bolton v Liverpool
Derby v Sunderland
Everton v Portsmouth
Fulham v Man Utd
Man City v Wigan
Middlesbrough v Reading
Newcastle v Blackburn
West Ham v Chelsea

Saturday, 8 March 2008
Aston Villa v Middlesbrough
Blackburn v Fulham
Chelsea v Derby
Liverpool v Newcastle
Man Utd v Bolton
Portsmouth v Birmingham
Reading v Man City
Sunderland v Everton
Tottenham v West Ham
Wigan v Arsenal

Saturday, 15 March 2008
Arsenal v Middlesbrough
Birmingham v Newcastle
Derby v Man Utd
Fulham v Everton
Liverpool v Reading
Man City v Tottenham
Portsmouth v Aston Villa
Sunderland v Chelsea
West Ham v Blackburn
Wigan v Bolton

Saturday, 22 March 2008
Aston Villa v Sunderland
Blackburn v Wigan
Bolton v Man City
Chelsea v Arsenal
Everton v West Ham
Man Utd v Liverpool
>Middlesbrough v Derby
Newcastle v Fulham
Reading v Birmingham
Tottenham v Portsmouth

Saturday, 29 March 2008
Birmingham v Man City
Bolton v Arsenal
Chelsea v Middlesbrough
Derby v Fulham
Liverpool v Everton
Man Utd v Aston Villa
Portsmouth v Wigan
Reading v Blackburn
Sunderland v West Ham
Tottenham v Newcastle

Saturday, 5 April 2008
Arsenal v Liverpool
Aston Villa v Bolton
Blackburn v Tottenham
Everton v Derby
Fulham v Sunderland
Man City v Chelsea
Middlesbrough v Man Utd
Newcastle v Reading
West Ham v Portsmouth
Wigan v Birmingham

Saturday, 12 April 2008
Birmingham v Everton
Bolton v West Ham
Chelsea v Wigan
Derby v Aston Villa
Liverpool v Blackburn
Man Utd v Arsenal
Portsmouth v Newcastle
Reading v Fulham
Sunderland v Man City
Tottenham v Middlesbrough

Saturday, 19 April 2008
Arsenal v Reading
Aston Villa v Birmingham
Blackburn v Man Utd
Everton v Chelsea
Fulham v Liverpool
Man City v Portsmouth
Middlesbrough v Bolton
Newcastle v Sunderland
West Ham v Derby
Wigan v Tottenham

Saturday, 26 April 2008
Birmingham v Liverpool
Chelsea v Man Utd
Derby v Arsenal
Everton v Aston Villa
Man City v Fulham
Portsmouth v Blackburn
Sunderland v Middlesbrough
Tottenham v Bolton
West Ham v Newcastle
Wigan v Reading

Saturday, 3 May 2008
Arsenal v Everton
Aston Villa v Wigan
Blackburn v Derby
Bolton v Sunderland
Fulham v Birmingham
Liverpool v Man City
Man Utd v West Ham
Middlesbrough v Portsmouth
Newcastle v Chelsea
Reading v Tottenham

Sunday, 11 May 2008
Birmingham v Blackburn
Chelsea v Bolton
Derby v Reading
Everton v Middlesbrough
Man City v Newcastle
Portsmouth v Fulham
Sunderland v Arsenal
Tottenham v Liverpool
West Ham v Aston Villa
Wigan v Man Utd

MLS Week 10 Recap

2007-06-13T17:03:00.000-05:00

Much like my Milwaukee Brewers, the Chicago Fire have wasted away a promising start to the season. During the past week the "Men in Red" dropped a 1-0 decision to Chivas USA. The highlight of the match, which was televised on FSC, was in the post-game when "crack" Fox Soccer reporter Jeremy St Louis thought he was interviewing a Chicago Fire player, but.. GASP.. it was actually Chivas USA's Jesse Marsch in the Jim Curtin's Fire kit (the former teammates having exchanged jerseys in after the match). Poor Canadian bastard...

After eleven league games the Fire are 4-5-2, sitting on 14 points and fourth in the Eastern Conference. That's six points behind conference leaders New York.

Other Week 10 Results:

Toronto FC 1:2 Red Bull New York
Houston Dynamo 2:1 Colorado Rapids
FC Dallas 3:1 Los Angeles Galaxy
DC United 4:2 Red Bull New York
Columbus Crew 1:2 Houston Dynamo

All the goals, including those pesky own goals, courtesy of "Climbing the Ladder."

Goalscorers (in order shown):

Ben Olsen
Juan Toja
Luciano Emilio
Juan Pablo Angel
Joseph Ngwenya
Ben Olsen
Robbie Findlay
Jeff Cunningham
Alejandro Moreno
Jose Cancela
Paulo Nagamura
Juan Pablo Angel
Abe Thompson
Stuart Holden
Ben Olsen
Juan Pablo Angel
Dema Kovalenko
Joseph Ngwenya
own goal (Chad Marshall)
Drew Moor

Music: Oasis - "Turn Up The Sun"

End of European Seasons Got You Down? We've Got Your Cure Right Here

2007-06-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

Nothing says end of the season, besides excessive confetti, like "goals of the year" so Dan went out and searched the Internet far and wide for clips covering all the great goals from the top European leagues. EPL, Serie A, French Ligue 1, Dutch Eredevisie... you name it we've got it. La Liga? Sorry... still a week left there. Who knows the number 1 goal of the season could be struck in week 38?

Dutch Eredevisie - "Understanding Only the Laughter of Surprise in these Clips"

Top But Eredevisie 2006-07
Uploaded by REM-Y

English Premier League - "Great Goals... Only Missing the Convenience of Only One Clip"

Italian Serie A - "No AC Milan Goals Allowed"

Top 10 Goals 06-07
Uploaded by super-goal

French Ligue 1 - "French Elitism Strikes Again... Top Goals Come in Separate Blog Posts"

#5
#4
#3
#2
#1

P.S. I was going to hunt down the top Turkish league goals of the year, but then I realized.... NO ONE CARES!

Dear Stephen: England Draws One, Wins One During International Break

2007-06-07T15:07:00.000-05:00

According to the British sports media, former England captain David Beckham's return to the England squad and subsequent contributions were similar to the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

And I'm not kidding you....

For months now the English have looked to Beckham as the inspiring player the national team needed to get back on track for Euro qualifying. Now that set up no less than three of England's four goals in the last week its looking like the Queen might knight the poor bastard (this all, of course, after she wet her knickers... confirmed by a source close to the Queen, Stephen).

First Steven McClaren was a genius for dropping Becks from the national team roster. "He's washed up" many people remarked and his limping off against Portugal and sissy girl crying earned him scorn just like when he got sent off against Argentina in 1998.

But, lo and behold, Golden Balls is back! Real Madrid is in the hunt for the first La Liga title since Beckham joined the team and England is apparently back on qualifying track. Good for everyone!

To be honest, I'm pleased that Beckham is getting credit where credit is do. Madrid's manager looked like an ass when he dropped David from the squad after signing with the Galaxy and Steve McClaren has had nothing but trouble without Beckham in the line up.

Is Beckham the cure-all for both Madrid's and England's troubles? I'm not quite sure, but the return of Becks to both sides produces a measurable increase in quality. Beckham is a hard worker and he convinced both managers that he deserved another look. Obviously it cannot be credited solely to Beckham, but no one can argue that he hasn't added his two big cents into the matter (and for England Michael Owen, Peter Crouch, and Joe Cole bagging goals again helps).

Now... NOW the England faithful are worried about Mr. Posh heading over to the USA and playing in the MLS. Worried that he'll be tired if (when) he gets called up for international duty during other Euro qualifiers and the Championships or if the MLS will provide enough competition or if the American domestic season will leave him unprepared during the winter months. Glad to know everyone is so concerned now. Not too long ago the English press were packing Beckham's bags for him now they're ironing his England kit. Even Alan Shearer got into the mix doing his own MLS bashing this week. And you know when Shearer says something, word is bond. I swear he's the one person in England who's words carry the most weight with the ghost of Princess Diana coming in a distant second (yes, I went there).

On a related note (and because of NICK'S WONDERFUL INSIGHT) I add that there was little worry amongst US soccer faithfuls about American internationals Claudio Reyna, Brian McBride, Oguchi Onyewu, or Carlos Bocanegra etc. about having to fly all the way back to the States for National Team duty. Are American soccer players more able to handle the cross-Atlantic flight? I dunno... I suspect that the "jet lag" fear that English press persons have is more a slur against MLS competition than true concern over whether Beckham can shake off his airplane naps in time to curl in free kicks.

Congrats to England for getting off the international schnide (yes I used that word two days in a row now) and I'm rooting for Real to get Beckham some silverware, but F-you to the rest of everyone... we've got Becks now and were going to use the shit out of him over here. If you're nice I might even send you a Golden Balls bobble head across the pond.

MLS Recap Weeks 8 and 9

2007-06-06T15:14:00.000-05:00

Just in time for week 10 of the MLS season is the last two weeks' goals! Chicago, after getting whopped by the Red Balls 3-0 in week 8, got off the shnide with a 3-2 win over the Columbus Crew. The "Men in Red" head into this weekend's match against Chivas USA (on FSC at 7:30pm Saturday, by the way) sitting in fourth place in the Eastern Division with 14 points.

Week 8 Results

New England Revolution 3:4 Kansas City Wizards
Columbus Crew 2:2 Toronto FC
DC United 2:1 Houston Dynamo
Colorado Rapids 1:0 Los Angeles Galaxy
CD Chivas USA 2:0 FC Dallas
Chicago Fire 0:0 Real Salt Lake

The goals, courtsey, as always, of "Climbing the Ladder."

Goals: (in order shown)

(note: last week's COL-KC goals are included this week)

Maykel Galindo
Ben Olsen
Juan Pablo Angel
Eddie Johnson
Jim Brennan
Steve Ralston
Shalrie Joseph
Eddie Johnson
Andy Herron
Juan Pablo Angel
Davy Arnaud (week 7)
Herculez Gomez
Andy Herron
Christian Gomez
Davy Arnaud
Dwayne De Rosario
Eddie Johnson
Danny Dichio
Josmer Altidore
Ante Razov
Jovan Kirovski (week 7)
Taylor Twellman

Music: Sean Paul - "We Be Burnin' (Legalize It)"

Week 9 Results

Toronto FC 2:1 Colorado Rapids
New England Revolution 0:0 Real Salt Lake
Kansas City Wizards 3:2 Red Bull New York
Los Angeles Galaxy 0:0 DC United
Houston Dynamo 2:1 FC Dallas

Goals: (in order shown)

Herculez Gomez
Eddie Johnson
Chad Marshall
Juan Pablo Angel
Ricardo Clark
Eddie Johnson
Jeff Curtin
Duncan Oughton
Danny Dichio
Eddie Johnson
Dema Kovalenko
Willian Oliveira
Abe Thompson
Chad Barrett
Andrew Boyens
Joseph Ngwenya

Music: Chemical Brothers f/Ali Love - "Do It Again"

P.S. Congrats to the resurrected Kansas City's Eddie Johnson for posting back-to-back hat tricks against New England (week 8) and New York (week 9). Note to Bob Bradley.. time to give this kid another national team shot this summer

The Gold Cup vs. Copa America

2007-06-04T22:15:00.000-05:00

The Gold Cup is just around the corner, which brings to light a topic that I think deserves some debate. Back in the early days of Bradley’s US adventure (before the interim tag was shed), he mentioned that the Gold Cup being our regional championship was the more important tournament this summer. Being such, he was going to bring the big guns to this tournament and take a younger, less experienced side to the Copa America. Now, forgive me for thinking aloud here, but….Why would you take the jayvee squad to face harder competition?

I realize that Bradley doesn’t want to burn any bridges with club coaches just yet, but here’s my thinking on the issue: the team and nation only gain experience on the whole as our core group of players are exposed to difficult opponents in difficult situations. This means that Landon Donovan, DaMarcus Beasley, Oguchi Onyewu, and company should be playing in the Copa America tournament and not the Gold Cup.

I agree that we need to flex our CONCACAF muscle and defend our Gold Cup title with vigor and determination; but do we need to win it to prove we’re the dominant team in the region? I say, not so much. If we send a reserve squad and take second or third place, we can hold our heads high. Let’s not forget that guys like Beasley and Onyewu are playing this summer for contracts and moves to better clubs for next season, so I’m sure they’d like to showcase their skills in both tournaments. Plus, in Mr. Bradley’s opinion, our talent pool is deep enough to send two different teams to the two tournaments, so why not reverse which teams go to which tournaments?

If we send the reserve squad to the Gold Cup, they’ll gain experience in the international game against some of our regional rivals. We’re in a group against Guatemala (who aren’t a walk in the park), Trinidad and Tobago (who qualified for last year’s big dance), and El Salvador (who are not the stiffest of opposition, but will play with some pride). To tell the truth, I am a little frightened of what’s going to happen this June, but that’s mainly because our teams is in a state of transition, both in the coaching sense and player sense. Other than that, I’m not really worried about our results in the first round of the Gold Cup. If our reserves can get out of the first round, I’d be content.

But, now we have an interesting situation. We, the United States, have always been an extremely dangerous sporting nation when our backs are against the wall, and absolutely no one believes we can succeed: see Lake Placid, NY in 1980 and Japan and South Korea in 2002. Even at the Gold Cup our younger squad will be expected to get out of the group, but in South America they’ll be expected to roll over and take the beatings doled out. So, what will happen to our national program if the kids go to the Copa and play their asses off, resulting in a higher finish than most thought our ‘A’ squad would be capable of. We’ll then have the problem of two different sets of players who gel in different ways and play to beats of different drummers. This wouldn’t be the worst problem in the world to have, but it’s something that could be avoided by playing the kids in the Gold Cup. Here in the States they’ll have some added support, and play against some easier opponents.

Up until now I’ve avoided blatantly stating the obvious. Playing the kids in the Gold Cup will also allow our big boys a chance to play in an extremely hostile, and unforgiving environment, where everyone wishes, hopes, and prays that we fail. In doing so, they’ll gain the experience they, and our national program so desperately need. With the big boys gaining this experience this summer, they can then confer this experience upon the youngsters in future camps. Maybe I’m wrong, but this train of thought seems to be pretty clear cut and straight forward.

While we’re on the topic of the Gold Cup and Copa America regional tournaments, isn’t it about time we combine the two and create a Super Cup of the Americas, or some other lamely named tournament. My proposed Super Cup (I would’ve gone with Copa de Americas but it’s too similar to the Copa America) would take place every four years and require nations in the western hemisphere to qualify from groups of four or six teams, very similar to the European Championships, African Cup of Nations, and the World Cup. The groups would drawn our of a hat, we can seed the nations if you like, but this way the US could end up in a qualifying group with South American Nations. This would also help our boys gain more valuable experience in hostile environments, as well as give them more chances to play in meaningful games against competitive opposition (which would be much better than the fluff matches that they’ve played lately).

The wife is calling me to bed for the evening, so, please dear readers, discuss amongst yourselves and post comments so that we may debate this topic further.

I’m out.

Goals of the Season? Not if These Saves of the Season Have Anything to Say About It

2007-06-04T16:30:00.000-05:00

Just for the record I make saves like this every week during my indoor games...

Blatantly Stolen Topic From Us???

2007-05-31T20:46:00.000-05:00

Whats up readers, Jon here. I must also apologize like my colleague Nick for the lack of updated post. I too have been extremely busy with work and have not had the opportunity to put the pen to the paper and post. I have however had the time to browse the Internet for articles on the beautiful game and came across one that was too familiar to me. It is often that we will "borrow" an article on a current event in the world of soccer where we make sure that we quote our source. This time however it seems that we have been the victim of plagiary. If you are an avid listener of our pod cast you will know that Max and I did a podcast giving the shout out to one Bob Bradley on the announcement of him getting the full-time gig for the nats. You will also know that we have pointed out that Sports Illustrated soccer writer Greg Lalas probably got his gig because he is the younger brother of former nats player and LA Galaxy general manager Alexi Lalas. Well being that his job was spoon fed to him he might as well get his topics spoon fed from his counterparts at Seven Guys Short! With out further ADU(sorry for the pun):

Cheers,
JON

What about Bob?
The Bradley Era officially begins for U.S. nat'l team
By: Greg Lalas

His 'interim' label removed, Bob Bradley can finally coach the U.S. national team without Like it or not, the Bob Bradley Era of the U.S. national team officially begins this week, as the 23 players he called in for the CONCACAF Gold Cup report to camp on Monday.
Since the announcement two weeks ago that Bradley was the permanent head coach, soccerphiliacs like me have debated endlessly as to whether the move was a good idea. Did U.S. Soccer Federation president Sunil Gulati miss an opportunity to sign a big-time, big-money, (big-ego) foreign head coach?
The marquee names originally bandied about had the bloggers and message-board posters tittering like little girls at a Disney princess convention. But with apologies to Rick Pitino: Jürgen Klinsmann is not walking through that door (my SI.com colleague Grant Wahl promises to find out why). So let's just let it go.
And remember one cool, head-scratching stat: No team has won the World Cup with a foreign coach. (Admit it, right now you're scratching your head and going back through the World Cup-winning coaches.)
Before you start scoffing, yeah, I know Bradley is not going to lead the U.S. to the World Cup trophy. That's a given. But the stat should give the Bradley/Sunil bashers a little pause.
Then again, as Wahl reminded me, the stat about foreign coaches never winning the World Cup has been touted before: by none other than Steve Sampson, the last interim U.S. skipper made permanent.
Sampson was out of his league when he "led" the U.S. to a last-place finish in 1998. That performance -- and all the back-room he-said-he-said shenanigans -- pretty much set U.S. soccer back a decade. So maybe that head-scratching stat is more like a head-shaking stat.
That gets me to a larger point about Bradley -- and about American coaches, in general. This is a very different soccer nation, and one major difference is that American coaches now have experience coaching grown men.
Sampson's only head-coaching experience before he got the job was at the college level, where he lorded over teenagers who just wanted to keep their scholarships. Sure, he served as Bora Milutinovic's assistant for one year, but Bora's assistants were as impotent as Al Gore during the Clinton years.
Yet, suddenly the federation thought Sampson was qualified? Suddenly he knew how to deal with grown men with opinions and egos and personalities and financial concerns? Men who were not beholden to the coach for scholarship money?
The problem was that there really weren't any Americans who had coached men at a very high level. That's all changed. Bruce Arena, before taking over the U.S. team, spent two years coaching D.C. United -- and showing a deft ability to manipulate massive personalities, like that Marco Etcheverry, whom he benched early on, to get the best out of them.
Bradley has nine years of professional coaching experience with Chicago, New York and Chivas USA. He's dealt with superstars, young guns, big egos, and plenty of internal conflicts -- all good training to be a national-team head coach. A permanent one.
This summer, Bradley's got his hands full with the Gold Cup and the Copa América. Playing the likes of Mexico and Argentina doesn't equate with friendlies against Denmark's J.V. team or the hapless Chinese national team, the Americans' opponent this weekend.
The permanency of Bradley's position means he should be able to relax, try out new things, test new players and think about the big picture aiming toward 2010. But he can't do that, thanks to King Sunil. Actually, that's one of Gulati's best assets: For all the criticism, he's an insanely competitive man who expects his coaches to win every time.
And so Bradley has called in a bold team with all the big guns present and accounted for. He's making a statement at the Gold Cup: Win now.
I like it. The fans will like it. Sunil should like it. And if he wins in style, it'll put to rest all those pesky debates. No more columns starting with "Like it or not..."

My appologies, dear readers

2007-05-31T17:59:00.000-05:00

Dear readers,

My sincerest appologies for the lack of posts in the past few weeks, but apparently my job feels that it's about time I actually partake in this thing called "work". So, I've been really busy lately (and still am) which is no excuse but it's the reason for my lack of posts.

Anyways, when my life returns to normalcy you can look forward to a round table discussion type post about strikers in the game today, and my excitement and thoughts about the season not really being over with Gold Cup and Copa action coming up quickly, as well as insight into the 'Silly Season' (known as transfer season to those not accustomed to the English media's rumor mill).

When I did find a spare moment, I came across a few intriguing posts over at our friend Laurie's LA Galaxy blog that you should read.

Without further adieu.....

LannyCakes cries sometimes too...

LannyCakes up for adoption...

For the record, we here at Seven Guys Short would take Landon over Quavas, though I wonder how social services feels about corporal punishment?????

Later,

Who said drinking's for cool kids?

2007-05-26T18:56:00.000-05:00

Jon and Max discuss all things football in the longest Podcast yet to date. Join us and some Bitburger for a lengthy cast discussing likes and dislikes in the world of football including a recap of the FA Cup, Champion's League, US Gold Cup roster and league discussion spanning the globe. Trust me, its a good one...

Shit! Or AC Milan Wins Champtions League Final

2007-05-23T16:25:00.000-05:00

I knew it was too good to be true. My beloved Liverpool, third place finishers in the EPL, had some how made another dream run to the Champions League Final. Again we face the Italian giants of AC Milan and I hoped we could deny them the revenge for 'Pools triumphant comeback two years ago.

But it was not to be. Liverpool, who despite having the run of play, found themselves down 1-0 at halftime. Jermaine Pennant was wondrous, Gerrard was OK, and Kuyt was effective. After halftime mystery may Harry Kewel even managed to be relevant.

Either way Kuyt's late goal was only a consolation and not the sign of another wonder comeback.

Disappointed? Of course! Surprised? Not entirely? Despite my obsession with the Reds, as with any team I have unwavering support for (see: Milwaukee Brewers) I am also a realist. And frankly these European titles are nice and all, but they don't seem to have the same "umff" that the old ones did. When a fifth place EPL side ('Pool 2005) or a third place EPL side ('Pool 2007) can make it to the final I always have my doubts about the integrity of such contests. I digress...

Congrats to those Italians. Technically, they shouldn't have even been in the Champions League, much less Serie A, but some weaselly lawyer-types got AC Milan's MATCH FIXING penalties reduce to a mere nothing.

No nevermind... I'm not going to take the high ground....

Fuck you Milan.

MLS Week 7 Recap

2007-05-22T06:18:00.000-05:00

The free-fall that is the Chicago Fire continued this week as they dropped a 2-1 decision to FC Dallas. It was the "Men in Red"'s MLS Thursday Night Premier. It is also the Fire's third straight defeat after such a good start to the season. The biggest problem seems to be be just a lack of goals!

Don't forget... the Chicago Fire have another Thursday night ESPN2 date this week at 6pm.

Other Week 7 Results:

Toronto FC 1:0 Houston Dynamo
Toronto FC 1:2 DC United
Red Bull New York 4:0 Columbus Crew
Houston Dynamo 0:1 New England Revolution
Colorado Rapids 1:1 Kansas City Wizards
CD Chivas USA 1:1 Los Angeles Galaxy
FC Dallas 2:1 Real Salt Lake

This Week's Goals:

Goals: (in order shown)

Andy Welsh
Sal Caccavale
Chris Gbandi
Shalrie Joseph
Maykel Galindo
John Wolyniec
Juan Carlos Toja
Jaime Moreno
Clint Mathis
Calen Carr
Freddy Adu (!)
own goal (Kevin Goldthwaite)
Arturo Alvarez
Alecko Eskandarian
Landon Donovan
Kenny Cooper
Juan Pablo Angel (welcome to the league!)

Missing: Jovan Kirovski, Davy Arnaud

Music: Hilary Duff f/Slim Thug - "With Love (remix)"

Cheeky Drogba Secures FA Cup Title for Chelsea

2007-05-20T16:29:00.000-05:00

To the dismay of Manchester United fan Jon, Chelsea forward Didier Drogba sunk the Red Devils with his 116th minute goal to lead the Blues to a 1-0 win in the FA Cup at the new Wembley Stadium.

A decent consolation to Chelski (along with the coveted Carling Cup...) as FA losers ManU took the EPL title from them earlier in the month and Liverpool dropped the London side out of the Champions League.

The FA Cup was the only domestic honor to elude Jose Mourinho as Chelsea's manager.

Be sure to check here or at the "Seven Guys Short Radio" podcast page soon for more post-match analysis.

Highlights from the... err... exciting match here:

RESUME FA CUP: MU 0-1 CHELSEA
Uploaded by ronalda2

New Toon Boss Shows Gooch the Door

2007-05-16T07:20:00.000-05:00

Big Sam Allardyce, the new manager of Newcastle United, made several cuts to the squad today sending U.S. international defender out the door.

Fellow defenders Craig Moore and Olivier Bernard, as well as keeper Pavel Srnicek and loan signing Oguchi Onyewu, have all been told their contracts will not be renewed.

Onyewu had spent only half at season with the Magpies coming over from Belgium side Standard Lige.

Where will Gooch go now? Only the great Nick knows....

What About Bob?

2007-05-15T22:45:00.000-05:00

Listen to the latest podcast with Jon and Max discussing the recent hiring of Bob Bradley to the US National Teams skipper position. Included in this weeks podcast are the FA Cup Preview (Saturday), MLS notes, and Keller's potential realignment. Hear Jon and Max discuss their opinions of Bradley's hiring and their takes on the world in football.

Cheers Bitches...

MLS Week 6 Recap

2007-05-14T17:11:00.000-05:00

So.... the Chicago Fire lost this week again, second time in two weeks. To compound this unfortunate situation it was to the expansion team Toronto FC. Even more unfortunate was the scoreline... 3-1. Again the "Men in Red" were in it at half tied 1-1 only to blow it. The Fire remain at 10 points and fourth place in the Eastern Conference behind New England (14), Kansas City (12), New York (11).

Other Week 6 Results:

Colorado Rapids 1:1 Real Salt Lake
Columbus Crew 1:1 CD Chivas USA
Kansas City Wizards 1:2 FC Dallas
Los Angeles Galaxy 2:3 New England Revolution
Red Bull New York 0:1 Colorado Rapids

Goals from "Climbing the Ladder"

Goals: (in order shown)

Adam Cristman
Juan Carlos Toja
Taylor Twellman
Ned Grabavoy
Ante Razov
Michael Harrington
Nicolas Hernandez
Kevin Goldthwaite
own goal (Pablo Mastroeni)
Kyle Martino
Kenny Cooper
Chris Rolfe
own goal (Jack Stewart)
Maurice Edu
Taylor Twellman
Tyrone Marshall
Danny Dichio

Don't Ever Dive Again

2007-05-11T16:16:00.000-05:00

Let this be a lesson to you dastardly Italians... stay on your feet or this guy will most surely stomp on your head.

Just for the record Dan is the official "steal clips from the web and post for content" guy of "Seven Guys Short." Nothing much to say... kind of the strong, silent type.

WOW! What Happened? My Favorite Striker in Decline

2007-05-11T11:25:00.000-05:00

And I am back! Why am I back, because I can’t get enough of this stuff!!!!

Hello again everyone, Jon here ready to give you a little slice of heaven.

Moving on…As a youth I watched a TON of soccer on the tube and would have to be dragged in to eat dinner, do you think that the darkness affected me? No No, my dad installed a flood-light in our back yard that was fixed on a regulation sized net. Oh, it doesn’t stop there. With my woodworking skills and under the watchful eye of my father I built a plywood wall so I could practice free-kicks around. Needless to say I know what was up at a young age. Around 5 JB (that would the year 5 in the year of Jon Bisswurm which means we are moving back in time) I was turned onto the beautiful game with the 1986 World Cup. I was only five but I can remember it like it was yesterday. Watching the taped delay with my dad way past a 5 year-olds curfew, waiting until he would get home from work to watch the next days matches.

Well needless to say it was probably where the seed was planted which lead to the above paragraph. During the 1986 World Cup one man brought out this excitement in me and made me go out side and fall around and pretend I was imitating even the most minute points of his game. Who is that man you may ask, well that man was Diego Maradona! That’s right bitches Diego Fucking Maradona. “This guy was the shit” before I even knew what that meant. I worshiped this guy until I got old enough to realize how money fame and fortune can ruin a small somewhat pudgy Argentine. He wasted away the best talent that my eyes had and still has ever laid my eyes on. I mean tears could come to my eyes to see what this guy has turned into. He says that he is off the booze and I don’t believe him. If you are week enough to say your have a drinking problem I am going to quote the great Tony Soprano, “Grow a fucking pair a balls” He also says he hasn’t touch the booger sugar in 2 ½ years, I also don’t believe that. I do however believe that he at least is not addicted to food anymore because he is not to far away from his playing size. I must say that I still feel for him because he did not know what he was getting himself into. He went from an extremely talented poor kid, to the best player in the world and possibly ever in the blink of an eye.

With that we all know that the vices get closer and closer, why couldn’t he be like Ted Nugent and be addicted to pussy instead of drugs. If that were the case we probably could have seen him in the MLS at the twilight of his career. On that note, I would like to again give him my best and say this, “Maradona Please, Please, for the love of Pete just stay alive and let you body die naturally.” If he can beat alcohol induce Hepatitis (what ever that is? I though that was a disease of the sexual nature), you can beat anything.

A timeline of pictures of my favorite #10:

The Glory Years

Maradona full of life and guster, scoring goals at lightning paces, making defenders fall over on cue.

Before I move on does this picture of Maradona look anything like our favorite "Entourage" star Aqua Man?

Look at the resemblance?

The Beginning of the Down Fall:

I like to call them the Forgotten Years (or at least he forgot them).

This seemed to be where the drugs kicked in because who in there right mind would ever be caught doing this?

Great example you are setting for the little bastard next to you dude! I can see the caption in the paper now, “Cracked Out Ex-Legend Dies In Not So Tragic Fall”(note the person having to hold his ass up)

The Fat Years

OK... enough is enough. I am sorry to say that he may leave us soon so say your prayers at night Diego I think the Reaper is coming for you..

Quick programming note: "Seven Guys Short Radio" will not be doing a live podcast from the FA Cup do to certain circumstances, but we will still do a game analysis. Thanks to all the listeners and readers.

Cheers!

No Henrik Larsson...

2007-05-09T08:39:00.000-05:00

Just a quick clarification from last nights Seven Guys short radio piece...YES, Larsson no longer is with United being only on loan to them until about March, the statement's were about who I wish were out there, which is why I said that I didn't think that we would see him and my comments were more so directed at the fact that Saha is not the man to help defeat Chelsea. I would much prefer to see Smith to start the match. Also, both Jon and I realized that he calls me Dan about 10 times in the conversation. Well that too is my name just like one of our founding fathers. We use Max, which is a nickname of mine, to clarify between the two, so don't feel as if you missed something there. Just a casual laps on both of our parts. Sorry for the inconveniences, however, if you really thought that we want Larsson to start this weekend, you are a dumbass. The only thing that he will be starting unfortunatley is the start of the Swedish League season and maybe some housechores now that he is back at home. Alright, stay tuned for more from these guys and tell your friends. Write in and give us some feedback. Either questions, opinions, disgusts, things you are happy about in the world of football or even what you feel we should be covered on a more regular basis.

Stay classy bitches...

The FA CUP Final Preview...and its all United!!!!

2007-05-08T23:20:00.000-05:00

The guys from seven guys short bring you another tantalizing podcast where Max joins Jon to preview the up and coming FA Cup Final against the Blues of Chelsea. Listen to the do's and don'ts of United future as Max and jon disect United's futurein the EPL.

(Pictured left, Max and right, Jon- great faces for radio!)

YouTube is the Greatest, Part XVIIII

2007-05-08T23:01:00.000-05:00

This might be the cheekiest, most audacious goal in the history of football. Forget your full length field runs, dodging defenders...

Who decides that its the right time for the move in this clip??? I have no idea what goes through a player's mind like this.

P.S. Unless you know Swedish just hold on a second for the actual clip. Some interviewer is asking "What the fuck were you thinking?"

MLS Week 5 Recap

2007-05-08T18:36:00.000-05:00

The Chicago Fire lost for the first time this season a 3-1 whomp to the New England Revolution. A tough loss to take given the "Men in Red" were even, 1-1, with the Revs with 25 minutes to go in the game. The loss holds the Fire at 10 points in the Eastern Conference, free-falling them to fourth place behind Kansas City (12), New England (11), and New York (11).

Other Week 5 Results:

DC United 1:1 New England Revolution
Kansas City Wizards 1:0 Columbus Crew
Real Salt Lake 3:3 Red Bull New York
Colorado Rapids 1:3 Houston Dynamo
DC United 2:1 CD Chivas USA

Here are the week's goal, courtesy of "Climbing the Ladder":

Goals: (in order shown)

Chris Brown
Jose Burciaga
Wells Thompson
Jaime Moreno
Clint Mathis (!)
Maykel Galindo
Jeff Larentowicz
Dwayne De Rosario
Chris Klein
Christian Gomez
Steve Ralston
Dwayne De Rosario
Andy Dorman
Jaime Moreno
Brian Ching
Dane Richards
Jeff Cunningham
Clint Mathis (again!)
Chris Rolfe
Roberto Brown

Blatantly Stolen Soccer Articles: Top 10 Worst Transfers in the Prem

2007-05-07T21:11:00.000-05:00

Hello all, I came across this article on ESPNSoccernet.com and got a kick out of the very last paragraph. I was also relieved that none of our boys who made the trip to England this past year made the list. Without further ado:

You paid how much?

Norman Hubbard

Make an inspired signing and there is a rush to claim the credit. Make an unsatisfactory buy and there is a doubt who was actually responsible: was it the manager, chairman, director of football or Pini Zahavi?

The 2006-7 season has been, in common with its predecessors, notable for some recruits everyone regrets. There are enough that Soccernet's top 10 does not include Aston Villa's underwhelming Stilian Petrov or Newcastle's underachieving Damien Duff.

There wasn't room for all of Manchester City's goal-shy forwards or any of Watford's legion of nonentities. So, without further ado, the chosen 10 are:

10. Robert Huth (Middlesbrough, £6 million)

Does Gareth Southgate suffer from low self-esteem? It is one conclusion to be drawn from his repeated attempts by one of the most accomplished defenders of his generation to replace himself with Huth. After the saga of his eventual signing, the giant German has missed much of the season. Meanwhile, Jonathan Woodgate and Emanuel Pogatetz have established themselves as an outstanding partnership, and Southgate now has himself a £6 million substitute.

9. Khalid Boulahrouz (Chelsea, £7 million)

Chelsea's No. 9 is also ours. If the sight of a defender wearing what once was Hernan Crespo, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and Kerry Dixon's number, Boulahrouz's presence in the Chelsea rearguard is little less unusual. That Jose Mourinho preferred midfielder Michael Essien was instructive and his belated recall of Boulahrouz showed why. His clumsiness resulted in the concession of a penalty to Arsenal on Sunday and his own dismissal. It explained why it was only the Dutchman's second Premiership start in four months. So, too, did his mauling at the hands of Everton's Victor Anichebe and Wigan's Emile Heskey before then. The consequence is that Chelsea have only had two specialist central defenders they could count upon.

8. Carlton Cole (West Ham, £2 million)

An average of around two Premiership goals a season is, if you are a striker, scarcely grounds for recruitment. Nevertheless, Alan Pardew opted for Cole's clear potential and ignored his regular droughts when taking him to Upton Park last summer. By Cole's standards, it has been an average season. He opened his West Ham account a minute into his debut against Charlton, but since then a solitary goal has followed and his tendency towards ineffectiveness has surfaced, playing a minimal role in West Ham's bid to avert relegation. Alan Curbishley has criticised his predecessor's summer signings, and he presumably had Cole in mind.

7. Gabriel Paletta (Liverpool, £2 million)

Being part of a Liverpool defence that has conceded both five and six goals in one match is something of a rarity, yet Gabriel Paletta's performances mean it is no unwanted coincidence that he was present on both occasions. The young Argentine's culpability in goals in his last two appearances - the defeats to Fulham and Portsmouth may be indicative of his unfortunate ability to spread panic in the Liverpool defence. Proof came earlier with the 5-0 pre-season defeat to Mainz and the 6-3 loss to Arsenal. In Liverpool's Carling Cup elimination, he contrived to make Jeremie Aliadiere appear Thierry Henry's superior. Rafael Benitez has numerous reasons to be grateful for Jamie Carragher's dependability and fine fitness record. The prospect of Paletta deputising ranks high among them.

6. Javier Mascherano (West Ham, loan)

The arrival of one of the World Cup's finest midfielders presented successive West Ham managers with a dilemma. Should they a) pick him? Or b) not?. Both Alan Pardew and Alan Curbishley opted for the latter, preferring the lesser talents of Nigel Reo-Coker, Hayden Mullins and later Nigel Quashie.

Indeed, Curbishley scarcely seemed aware of the Argentine's existence. Admittedly, West Ham did not even score with Mascherano on the pitch, but that hardly amounted to a long period of time. To extend the tale of mismanagement, West Ham incurred a £5.5 million fine for fielding Mascherano while ineligible, in a case that could yet go to court.

5. Djimi Traore (Charlton, £2 million)

The most inauspicious of beginnings epitomised Traore's Charlton career. Sent off, albeit unfortunately, in the derby defeat to West Ham, he was rapidly ushered out by Alan Pardew, his third manager in six months at The Valley at a loss of £1 million, or almost £100,000 per game. Traore accounts for £2 million of the £11 million spent by Iain Dowie last summer and, given the inadequacy of Amdy Faye and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, plus the slow start Souleymane Diawara made, it says something that he ranks as the worst buy.

4. Bernardo Corradi (Manchester City, £1 million)

Goals outnumber red cards, but it is a close-run thing. In a season when Manchester City's strikers have become a laughing stock and where season-ticket holders have been unable to celebrate a goal since they were feeling the effects of their New Year hangover, Corradi has at least outscored Paul Dickov (largely because he hasn't found the net at all), but he and Georgios Samaras have become shorthand for City's failings. Yet so much more was expected of an Italian international. Instead, Corradi marked his debut with a red card. If the abiding memory of his time at City is him 'knighting' Joey Barton after a rare goal, it suggests his judgment is as poor as Stuart Pearce's in the transfer market.

3. Matthew Upson (West Ham, £6 million)

Alan Curbishley appeared open-minded in January: he would consider signing absolutely anyone. It is an inclusive policy that may yet reap dividends if West Ham survive. That, however, will owe nothing to Matthew Upson's contribution. His £6 million fee works out at around £150,000 per minute on the pitch, excluding generous wages estimated at £45,000 a week. His two starts have amounted to 41 minutes, and Upson has twice limped off in defeats. It that appears unfortunate, it is worth remembering West Ham signed a player with only eight league starts in his last 11 months at Birmingham; his fitness was not to be assumed and he could yet swap divisions with his former club in the summer.

2. Michael Ballack (Chelsea, free)

Chelsea expected a midfield general. They discovered that there are anarchists who have exerted greater control than Michael Ballack. As his depreciating goal return, unusual anonymity and sluggishness when confronted by speedier opponents showed, this was not the Ballack of Bayer Leverkusen, Bayern Munich or Germany.

The anticipated battle with Frank Lampard to be regarded as Chelsea's premier attacking midfielder turned out to be depressingly one-sided, as statistics of 21 goals to 7 indicate. Only when eliminating Porto from the Champions League did Ballack make the expected impact. Otherwise, for £130,000 a week, he has proved the worst import from Germany since The Scorpions' Wind of Change.

1. Andriy Shevchenko (Chelsea, £30.7 million)

Carlos Bocanegra 5, Andriy Shevchenko 4. The West London shootout is being won by Fulham's American defender who, though not even a set-piece specialist, is outscoring Britain's costliest player in the Premiership. At Chelsea, the callow Salomon Kalou has struck almost twice as often. Shevchenko's occasional high-class finishes - such as his FA Cup goal against Tottenham - only heighten the exasperation with a player of undoubted quality. Sublime in Serie A, he has been poor in the Premiership. Missing the Champions League semi-final second leg, exactly the sort of match he was signed for, hardly helped but when Jose Mourinho referred, in his indictment of the players who had cost Chelsea a third successive title, of those who would fail to garner a single vote in the club's Player of the Year voting, he surely had their biggest buy in mind.

Fulham "Deuces" All Over Liverpool, Probably Survive the Drop

2007-05-06T19:39:00.000-05:00

As much as I hate seeing Liverpool drop games in the Premier League if it has to come at the expense of Nick's favorite club to stave off relegation AND by an American international I can be convinced to not be so upset.

Clint Dempsey, more affectionally known as "Deuce," scored the only goal in Fulham's potentially season-saving win over my Reds. The 1-0 victory puts the London side at 39 points, maybe, just maybe enough to see them through to top flight football next season.

Here's Dempsey's heroics via YouTube (who are being sued by the EPL for the exact thing I'm doing right now, which is sharing its game coverage for free):

Liverpool, on the other hand, has already qualified for the Champions League and all the remains to be seen (besides if we'll be European champs, again) is whether 'Pool or Arsenal will take the third spot in the EPL table. Both are at 67 points after Liverpool's loss and Arsenal's 1-1 draw at home against Chelsea (who no longer have a shot at the league title).

Dempsey's goal was a beautiful give-and-go from fellow American Brian McBride, which gives Fulham fans a taste of a nice combo they should have been seeing a lot more of this past season. Ask Nick and he'll tell you the American triple threat that is McBride, Dempsey, and Bocanegra is certainly not seen enough in Fulham's starting eleven.

Either way.. here's to Fulham who hopefully avoid the drop with their win over Liverpool.